It's sad that people are calling you shallow and blaming you for not being physically attracted to this girl.  The fact is humans are hardwired a certain way, evolutionarily speaking, where attraction does matter.

For those judging, Google it or watch The Science of Sex or research it before judging a person for not being into this girl.  If anything, the OP was less shallow, because he went with it initially and gave her a shot based on her personality and online chemistry, but unfortunately the lack of sexual and physical attraction was too great to ignore.  Not many people even go that far.  And why don't people think she is shallow for going for a guy that is athletic or posting misleading pics on her page?  Double standards, anyone?

OT, don't lie or scumbag your way out of it.  It'll be better for her, not in the immediate sense but overtime, if you're honest.  Just be tactful in the way you say what you're going to say, e. g. don't use the word "fat".  Say the relationship isn't working out, and if she asks why tell her that even though you like her a lot, you can't force yourself to be attracted to her.  It'll hurt her feelings (something lots of people will jump through hoops just to avoid), but it might motivate her to lose weight.  Or at the very least, she won't try to entice a guy who's not into bigger girls by posting misleading pics online, because she won't want to go through the embarrassment again.  Believe me, honesty, in this case, is best.

You're acting like he can help ow he feels.

mind if you show some of these pictures? how the hell couldn't you tell how she looked ?
If you don't like her then just tell her.

Im acting like he felt the way he does now the moment he saw her in person but fucked her anyway like an asshole, which is exactly what he did.

People are calling him shallow and a scumbag, not because he isnt physically attracted to her, but because he didnt act on KNOWING this the moment he met her, and strung her along anyway, most likely for the sex.

and if youre saying thats the way men are hard wired, and we should excuse the times men sleep with girls theyre not attracted to and dont even want to be seen with, all because theyre men, then fuck you too.

honestly if I were her and I had to turn off the lights to have sex then I would have dumped you the first night of wanting to turn off the lights and just left

I don't get how people accept that on themselves

seriously people need to put some value in themselves and others as it's not just a body to stick something in

Just lie her on her side and roll her down the next hill you come to.

Then say "now try that with me" and then when she realises you dont roll "say I want to date someone who doesnt roll down the hill so easily."

This is the gamer way, how it has always been.

But I look it at it another way.  In spite her misleading online images, from what I read Attaboy gave her a shot to see if it would work out, because he had chemistry with here.  He even says somewhere on the board they treated it as some sort of relationship on the internet.  How many times have you heard a girl giving a guy that's not in her league a chance, because he's funny or whatever other reason.  Heck, look at all the sitcoms that have some ugly or fat male lead married to some woman who is a 10.  In society, it's alright if a girl warms up to a guy who may not initially be her type but if a guy tries to and it doesn't work, he's labeled a scumbag or shallow.  Like I said, double standards.

People on this message board are acting like this was a case of wham bam, thank you mam, but what I read it to be was someone giving a relationship a chance despite not being attracted to her than realizing the lack of attraction was too big of a problem to ignore.  The sex part was one of the issues, not a sleazy campaign to bed some girl he didn't have an attraction to.  And contrary to what many here see it as, I see it as dating.  You go out with someone, you enjoy their company.  Sometimes it leads to sex, other times not.  If it does lead to sex but the relationship ultimately leads to nowhere, that doesn't mean anyone was using anyone.  It means the relationship didn't work.  The way you phrase it, the OT is some predator, but he may just have been a confused guy looking for something more (why a lot of people go online to date) and ultimately not finding it but not wanting to hurt the girl in the process.

Btw, I do not condone guys preying on girls to get easy sex.  I am in a relationship with a girlfriend of 3 and a half years, have not and do not want to cheat on her, and we're bestfriends.  I respect women.  I just don't think the OP scammed this girl like you and others seem to believe.  He expressed himself honestly and even though it may have offended some, he wasn't saying anything that would embarrass this girl, because this is the internet and no one knows her!  I just think he was trying to paint the picture the way he saw it and how he felt.

That's how I feel, but you are entitled to your own opinion.  However, I never did implie that we should excuse men every time they sleep with someone they're not attracted to nor do I appreciate being cursed out for expressing my opinion.  But in what world should I expect civility on an internet forum?  Crazy of me, huh?  If you're a scorned lover reacting to this post out of some personal experience, it may not be because of your attraction level.  It may be because of that abrasive attitude.

Speak for yourself. You know the physical atraction only last 2 years? In that time you need to develop a companionship love or things wont work out long term. Its on psychology books aswell.

So, in answer to your point. Love will come, but its a different kind, deeper love.

The idea that you're gonna get the perfect woman all ready for both stages of love is laughable because it needs to be worked on. It doesnt just pop out already done. He will regret his decision in the end, but given he only cared for this issue after having sex with her, maybe he deserves this life lesson. He indeed does sound shallow in his actions.

Last i checked you could "give things a go" without resorting to sex, and again, last i checked, when you hit a point where youre saying "when we have sex i do it from behind so she doesnt look fat" youre no longer talking about a one time thing but basically youve reached a point where you know you are not attracted to the girl you are with but you are "making do" with what you have for the sex.

"shes been asking to meet my family and friends for a week",  so what do we read here? think about it, shes into the relationship and thinks it may work, where as he has, up until now, despite not being attracted to her, stuck with it regardless.

now we can read that two ways as you said.

either hes tried hes best to make it work and has finally thrown in the towel

or

he dragged it out because, even if hes not attracted to her, sex is sex, but now shes nagging to meet family and friends he wants to ditch her while he can.

His attitude about her meeting family and friends and his discription of their sexual relationship strongly suggests the latter, unlike you i dont see the point in giving someone the benefit of doubt with such matters especially when his primary reason for hiding his girlfriend from family and friends, and now dumping here, is focused entirely on something so dynamic as how fat she is - she was fat when they met, shes fat now, you can look at it as him throwing her a bone and giving her a try if you want, but thats what dating is for - believe it or not, relationships can and do exists without sex, he could have reached the current conclusion without going as far as he did, and the fact he didnt says a lot.

As for the latter, i said "IF" you were excusing such actions - you said yourself that you were not, thus the "fuck you too" doesnt apply.

As for the bold, Been happily married for a long long time thanks.

The question of him having sex on their first date is completely unresolved. Were they drunk? Does he have a habit of sleeping with his dates in a non-committal way, was this the same and turn into something bigger?

So Nyleveia, you're not in a position to judge. Also I agree with danasider. Girls will give guys a shot, even have sex with them and see where it leads to. Why when it's a guy is he a dushe? It's a double-standard.

Also, she was being dishonest about her looks, so he can be dishonest about stuff too, it's fair. Neither are good, but not one is singly to blame.

Attaboy, I still have very strong feelings for my ex gf, who I don't see anymore we are distant friends. She is not obese in any way but I also had a difficult time with the issue. I'll just tell you you might regret breaking up with her. The idea is that you are athletic, I am too. I love sports and would want a partner who could do physical activity with me. I like eating healthy and don't have a high opinion of unhealthy eating. Just stay true to your lifestyle and see if she wants to join. If she doesn't, it's like any other breakup, just let it go. As wonderful as she is, you just are not a match. Some people will have a happy life on a match of personality, but relationships are hard enough as they are. Try to find a girl that is smart, funny, has a good personality, and can match your lifestyle. You gave her a shot, now it's time to stick to your lifestyle. If she tries to join you, then she's a keeper. If not, she's not putting in the efforts and you should let it go before it's too late.