danasider said:
People on this message board are acting like this was a case of wham bam, thank you mam, but what I read it to be was someone giving a relationship a chance despite not being attracted to her than realizing the lack of attraction was too big of a problem to ignore. The sex part was one of the issues, not a sleazy campaign to bed some girl he didn't have an attraction to. And contrary to what many here see it as, I see it as dating. You go out with someone, you enjoy their company. Sometimes it leads to sex, other times not. If it does lead to sex but the relationship ultimately leads to nowhere, that doesn't mean anyone was using anyone. It means the relationship didn't work. The way you phrase it, the OT is some predator, but he may just have been a confused guy looking for something more (why a lot of people go online to date) and ultimately not finding it but not wanting to hurt the girl in the process. Btw, I do not condone guys preying on girls to get easy sex. I am in a relationship with a girlfriend of 3 and a half years, have not and do not want to cheat on her, and we're bestfriends. I respect women. I just don't think the OP scammed this girl like you and others seem to believe. He expressed himself honestly and even though it may have offended some, he wasn't saying anything that would embarrass this girl, because this is the internet and no one knows her! I just think he was trying to paint the picture the way he saw it and how he felt. That's how I feel, but you are entitled to your own opinion. However, I never did implie that we should excuse men every time they sleep with someone they're not attracted to nor do I appreciate being cursed out for expressing my opinion. But in what world should I expect civility on an internet forum? Crazy of me, huh? If you're a scorned lover reacting to this post out of some personal experience, it may not be because of your attraction level. It may be because of that abrasive attitude. |
Last i checked you could "give things a go" without resorting to sex, and again, last i checked, when you hit a point where youre saying "when we have sex i do it from behind so she doesnt look fat" youre no longer talking about a one time thing but basically youve reached a point where you know you are not attracted to the girl you are with but you are "making do" with what you have for the sex.
"shes been asking to meet my family and friends for a week", so what do we read here? think about it, shes into the relationship and thinks it may work, where as he has, up until now, despite not being attracted to her, stuck with it regardless.
now we can read that two ways as you said.
either hes tried hes best to make it work and has finally thrown in the towel
or
he dragged it out because, even if hes not attracted to her, sex is sex, but now shes nagging to meet family and friends he wants to ditch her while he can.
His attitude about her meeting family and friends and his discription of their sexual relationship strongly suggests the latter, unlike you i dont see the point in giving someone the benefit of doubt with such matters especially when his primary reason for hiding his girlfriend from family and friends, and now dumping here, is focused entirely on something so dynamic as how fat she is - she was fat when they met, shes fat now, you can look at it as him throwing her a bone and giving her a try if you want, but thats what dating is for - believe it or not, relationships can and do exists without sex, he could have reached the current conclusion without going as far as he did, and the fact he didnt says a lot.
As for the latter, i said "IF" you were excusing such actions - you said yourself that you were not, thus the "fuck you too" doesnt apply.
As for the bold, Been happily married for a long long time thanks.