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Forums - General Discussion - What are good reasons to live?

The James webb telescope looks like its going to successfully start sending back images in a few months
humans will return to the moon in a few years
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exciting times ahead

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A wise man once told me, the normal way to deal with any kind of feelings is to distract yourself. 

If you require alcohol to have fun, then you have a problem

Jaicee said:

Sorry, I'm at an extremely bad place tonight and need help remembering.

You use a Catra avatar, shouldn't that answer your question? Catra is in the show in a place, where nothing makes sense, where she feels like her life is pointless or worse damaging, like there is nothing for her than hurt feelings. She is accepting death, not caring anymore. Yet, she gets rescued, and although it is hard and involves a lot of hurt feelings, she finds a place there things are worth it. And that is independent of Adora, she finds that place in herself, if you look close enough.

I could even point to Shadow Weaver. All her life she only sought security by power through manipulating others. In the last minutes whe finds value and meaning in her life by helping her adopted children.

I personally had problems as a child. I was always an outsider, had no friends. Starting to become an adult was a horrifying outlook, how to find a place for myself. But surprisingly it worked all out. Not in an instant, it took years and things improved slow and gradually. The key was finding acceptance of myself. As a child I tried to shed being an outsider by trying to fit in. But becoming an adult I stopped that and started to find value within myself. Yes, I find still enough flaws with myself, but at the core I accepted who and what I am.

Start find the sides of yourself you love. Try not to judge yourself from the view of others, but strive to be your true self. And love that true self. Yes, we all have dark sides we hate, but embrace it. If you can, you can try to become better, but often it just is enough that you are a flawed human like everyone else. And that you can love yourself, with all your flaws. That all is slow and there are always dark days, but there is also always a tomorrow.

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Death hurts, probably. So living is the better option

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What are good reasons to not live is the better question. In the almost infinite amount of time in the universe and you are only alive for a very small amount of that time

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Love, sex, countless beautiful places to see, knowledge you could acquire, many nice people you could meet. Extremely depressed mood can temporarily prevent you from seeing them all, but they're all there, some to be met casually, some others effortlessly, some others with effort, but worth it. Don't let bad things, bad people and gloomy mood make you ignore all the good people and things.

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Sorry to know you're going through really depressing times, Jaicee. Although I haven't had to manage depression to that extent, there was a rough time in my life where I'd thought of ending it.

I'm not sure how helpful my advice/story would be compared to other great comments posted here - especially since I'm kinda tired, but it's worth a shot. What makes it easy to assess my dark time in the rearview mirror is my narrative of 'deserving' to own the moment. Whether you look at it spiritually, cosmically, or statistically, it's mind-boggling to even think about how you exist right now. Since the improbability of being alive is so daunting, beating those odds entitles you to keep going and holding onto whatever motivates you. That inward motivation has been monumentally helpful for me.

I should also admit that thinking was guided by occasional pot & alcohol consumption since that event. Obviously avoid those IF you've had some terrible stories with either. Other than that, focus on the little good things you're able to do while we're on this weird journey. Even if you think there's nothing after death (I'm hesitant to say yes), that also means your abundance of options are permanently gone too.

Hope this dark cloud leaves you soon.

If it hurts, it's because you know you long for better, you deserve better. Being lost, not finding out your reason for enduring, makes you feel despair, and what an awful thing that is.
My commendation is not to expect "solutions" from a single source, but to grow as many relations with things and people as possible. Trust your potential and give yourself freely to as many things as possible, more joyfully and less concerned in the "return" of your efforts.
There are many amazing experiences and people ahead of you. Trust yourself, trust the providence, and enjoy the ride. It is important to consider yourself the hero of your story and not the victim of it.
Wonderful things sometimes are like fruit. They demand time and love and patience.
This is my experience. I hope it helps.

Jaicee said:

I can neither afford nor want more therapy. It's not been particularly helpful to me in a long time.

Sorry to scare everyone. I'll probably get over this. I have bouts like this from time to time, but this is the worst one I've experienced in a good while. I was thinking about Valentine's Day recently and realized I couldn't picture myself being alive on Valentine's Day. My brain sometimes starts thinking like "No one needs you around; your job is worthless and anyone can do it, your mom and dad hated you because you failed them, your knee won't recover and you can't do anything without it, you're hungry and overdue on the water bill and another tile just fell off the wall of your tub and your whole fucking house is falling apart and nobody cares because nobody loves you because you're unlovable, your life is so meaningless that nobody will even attend your funeral or miss you, there's no purpose to life anyway", stuff like that, and it takes me some time to start appreciating the little things again like I need to when I think about the big picture of life. I don't know how to put it out of my mind right now, which is why I need advice/distractions (or just kind words; those help too). I know myself. I appreciate it everyone.

Yes, I know there's nothing after death. My brain isn't registering how that's different from life right now and it's morally better than being a burden to people. Isn't that funny? Like every creature from the dawn of time to now has had as its first natural instinct to stay alive and I don't. I'm special. That's what they tell me anyway.

EDIT: I'm sorry again. Thank you for your kind words.

>your job

No one else can be you. No one else can post your opinions. No one else can experience the world for you.

>your mom and dad

People love you. On this forum and offline.

>another tile just fell off the wall of your tub and your whole fucking house is falling apart

These are just things. And things can be fixed.


>there's no purpose to life

If there's no purpose to life, then we are free to do the things we want.  

Play movies, music, or games. Read books. Learn about things and stuff that interest you.

Travel, build something.

Vote, try making the world a better place for yourself and for others.

Eat Pizza. 

Do anything that is fun, or otherwise brings you fulfillment.

Last edited by the-pi-guy - on 10 January 2022

Ryuu96 said:

Is there anyone that you can talk to, a close friend or family member? I don't know if it applies to you but I know that often folk will think they're being a burden on friends or family by opening up but that is not the case, your close friends and family love you and any real friend or family member will only want you to be okay and do anything to help you achieve that.

There's no apology needed either, I think that almost everyone has these dark thoughts from time to time, the world would be a better place if we were more open and honest about these things, it's far better than bottling things up and encourages others to speak out before they do something bad. So if anything, I think it should be a "thank you" for showing it's okay to reach out.

As for the future, I think it's better (for the most part) to simply take things one day at a time, aside from some long term personal goals. Focus on what makes you happy at this very moment on this day, then the next day and so on. There is so many things outside of your control that can happen between now and a date in the future, both good and bad, nobody knows, life can be pretty random.

As for your brain, do you agree with it or do you know that deep down it is a lie? I've definitely had some negative thoughts in the past from my lying POS brain (heh) but I know that none of it is true, I don't know what you're going through right now but I'm sure you know deep down that it's a lie coming from a specific part of your brain, I'm sure your parents didn't hate you, any good parent simply wants their child to be okay and everything else is minor, I'm betting that it isn't true that nobody needs you around, I'm sure they'd be multiple people devastated at losing you and even some here that would be sad.

I am sorry about your current physical health and financial difficulties, I can't offer much advice there, I do hope things improve there too, I'm fairly lucky in that my own physical disability has remained consistent but I'm prepared for the future, I do hope you can find some comfort with your knee in the future, the body can be fragile but it can also be remarkably adaptable, honestly it can be sorta fragile and sturdy at the same time, it's pretty amazing and hopefully you'll find something to ease any (pain?) I imagine you're experiencing in your knee.

And hey, if there's no purpose in life, no big grand scheme, then have fun with it, do whatever makes you happy, the fact that we're here in the first place is pretty damn insane, remarkable, whatever word you want to use, we're pretty f*cking special, each one of us and we only get one life to live so don't miss out on anything you want to do, search for that purpose in living and do some crazy shit (within legal bounds, lol).

Also the fact that you're still alive right now shows that some part of you wants to be, whether you realise it or not, whether it's our natural instincts to stay alive or something more, you're still here despite a part of your brain feeding you these negative lies, you're still fighting because you're a strong person and we've all seen that, I have no doubt that you will get through this and manage to see some positivity in the world again, something to look forward to.

This was what I needed to be reminded of. Thanks so much!

I don't really have living family who communicate with me anymore, but there is someone I'm able to talk with a little at work, but not that deeply. (It's my former girlfriend.) I'm not very good at making friends anymore. I mean I can still find groups that I fit in with today, but they're all online niches and there's nobody local. I'm lonely. I definitely need to regain long-lost people skills beyond just reciting the pre-recorded messages my job requires me to regurgitate dozens of times a day.

Yes, I'm in physical pain and I have ways of addressing that, but I don't know if they're healthy, they're just the only solutions I know.

Anyway, the bottom line is, yes, I needed the reminder to focus on living one day at a time rather than focusing on the timeline. Sometimes it's tough when the little day-to-day joys I can get out of life seem so small in comparison to the challenges I've made for myself and others. I could use a little adventure, it's true. Something to take my mind off stuff. It's just when I get like this, nothing seems appealing anymore, you know? It all seems boring or like a chore. That's why maybe an adventure of some kind is the right answer; something I've always wanted to do but haven't gotten to. I'll have to think about that.

Last edited by Jaicee - 6 days ago