This thread is good therapy, so many great people here. Heartwarming.
I don't know how much if at all this going to help, but here is a story of my own ecperiences when contemplating suicide:
A bit more than two years ago I was suffering under massive depression. I didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I still have a booklet where I wrote all my thoughts in. It's hard to read, reminds me of the pain. It became unbearable.
I remember standing on a stool in the bathroom, a cable around the lamp on the ceiling and around my neck. My biggest concern in that moment was, what would happen if the lamp didn't support my weight and got ripped out of the ceiling and I survived with a permanent injury to my neck.
It was at that moment, that I began thinking about everything that was important to me in my short life. Everyone who loved me, to whom I was important. How would my death impact them? All the things that had made me happay throughout my life. Everything that ever gave me a smile. The best moments in my life. They always shine the brightest.
I started to smile and I realised that there is still so much to see, to do, to experience. So many of those great moments that make me smile even years later are waiting for me in the future. They are waiting for you too. You just need to find them. Don't let the bad moments pull you down. They will always keep pulling at you, but it's all worth it for these great ones because those are the ones that shine the brighest.
When I realised that while still stanging on the stool, I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel. This light is what I look at when I feel down. It means happiness, joy.
Don't think of the bad times, think of the good ones, because the good moments are the ones that define who you are, not the bad ones. The more darkness surrounds you the brighter does the light shine. Embrace it, don't give up, never.
What is important to you? What makes you happy? Live for what makes you happy.
I hope that helps.
