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Jaicee said:

Sorry, I'm at an extremely bad place tonight and need help remembering.

I haven't read through the thread yet.  I hope here a few days later things are looking up.  You are obviously an intelligent individual and although I don't always agree with your political conclusions they are much more often than not researched and well stated.  You really should find work that showcases your research talent.  Work is obviously not the end all be all but as long as it isn't work from home it will also cast you into a new pool of people where you will likely find new friendships and through those possibly love.  You are no moron and the world seems to be short of people that aren't morons.   We all have our blind spots but you really are an intelligent individual don't let that go to waste.  Letting talent peculate isn't a sin but throwing it away all together should be.  We love ya Jaicee, I hope your perspective shifts.