I've dealt with depression as young man but never put serious thought into suicide.
I feel like the best advice I could give is pursue things that actually make you happy and perhaps really talk to someone about it that can help.
Lets be honest, if you're willing to talk about on a forum then maybe you don't really wanna die. I've always had the perspective I will inevitably die eventually, so might as well do some living.
I suggest getting out your head and pursuing interests. I work, exercise, intermittent fasting which has made me feel and look better, and have suddenly taken a big interest in world religions (lots of reading). I am even trying meditation. Hence, if your life isn't working for you then maybe try making changes first. I never thought I'd be doing some of this shit I am doing now.
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