Curious who here has attempted it or had serious thoughts? How are you dealing with 2020? Any stories to share?

I have been treated many times in the past. I have attempted on a number of occasions in past years, been a thing since I was a kid. Suffice to say I suck at it. I'm in a place now where once again I am considering it. No mods I am not joking since I got in trouble for mocking my own pain in another topic. But hey people rarely listen to cries for help. In a pretty shit place atm. Dark humor is one way I try to deal with it. Always have.

I was doing ok most of 2020 but I think it finally caught up to me about 2 weeks ago. It just gets worse by the day as not just the outside world of 2020 but how things have been going for me. It's been a few years since I been hospitalized and later sent to a mental ward. That thought now freaks me out more with Corona. I'm talking with some people to convince me not to jump out of my apartment window. I figured 100 feet is good enough to kill me. It's getting tempting tho. I know other people struggled with it and legit want to hear people who have flirted with it. Struggled and hear how they are doing and experiences.

Are you out much? I know it can seem silly, but Vitamin D does help against depression. Im not out much, so I dont get enough sun. But I do take Vitamin D tablets and it has helped me. I was never depressed to the point of suicide though, so maybe I should just shut my mouth. Its hard to give advice since every person is different and reacts different to treatments.

I never felt this kind of pain before and honestly can't imagine how miserable you are feeling now. I don't really have any true good advice or good works to say, but I'm grateful that you choose to share your emotions here instead of just keeping them

I hope you and everyone who wants to share stories/feellingd here find some comfortable and welcoming place to unpin

To any morons who are lurking on this thread, if you don't have anything positive to add on just stay silent, better than spilling bs

I do vertical rescue and have rescued individuals who have fallen 320~ feet. And they have survived. - There are no guarantees in life, it's literally not worth the attempt, you are worth more than that, you can beat this.

I feel your pain, I would like to think the mod team are trusted enough for you to reach out towards and have a chat, we are here for you and the community to foster a positive and uplifting atmosphere. - Suicide and mental health isn't a joke or to be taken lightly.
If you are feeling upset, depressed, reach out to someone, have a chat... Exercise can also help significantly as exercise creates endorphins which helps to create a positive mood.

Avoid things like drugs, alcohol or other substances, open up your home to let some light and air in and eat foods rich in Vitamin B, Protein and complex carbs. I.E. Nuts, Wholegrains, Dark Green Veg.

And do not be afraid to go and see a professional... Whilst we are here to be an ear and to assist... There is only so much that we can do behind a keyboard, long term plans need to be made with a professional for you to have a proper long term recovery.

It's ok to not be ok. Look after yourself. You are valued. You are important.

You may want to talk to a doctor and see if they can prescribe you antidepressants. Our brain is made from different chemicals and if there is any imbalance it could cause you to get depress/suicidal. Still pissed at my friends for making fun of me for being depressed and not wanting to do anything. It's almost like asking a paraplegic to run a marathon. When you are depress it takes your legs from you so to speak.

I am too afraid of death to have ever seriously attempted it, but I've spent a significant portion of my life feeling like it's hardly worth living.

In fact, I'm in a very dark place at the moment, with almost nothing giving me any joy, pleasure, or any positive emotion. I just stumble through each day in a haze of anxiety, sadness, boredom, and emptiness.

I self-harmed from the age of 13 to 22, culminating in slitting my wrist in a fit of depression and ending up in the emergency room needing surgery to reattached severed tendons. Lost the use of my left hand for a few months. Seeing how heartbroken my mother was over this incident made me never try it again, and as of a few weeks ago, I've gone 9 years without self-harming.

That's my experience, for what little it's worth.

As far as talking yourself out of it; every person I know who has attempted suicide, and I know several, all are deeply grateful that they failed and in retrospect say it was the wrong decision to even try. Take that as advice from people who actually went as far as almost succeeding, and who would therefore know more about it than either you or I.

Remember, you are never as alone as you think you are. Heck, I'm just some random idiot on an internet forum, but I would sincerely miss your contributions. And I've never even met you.

When I was young from 6 to about 16 my attempts got better and better until I found my self under a bridge with a shotgun. Thankfully I didn't pull the trigger and in retrospect my troubles were not that big. I didn't much like myself and still don't all that much. Even at 6 when I thought I could strangle myself to death ( spoiler you just pass out) there was a part of me that knew how much I would hurt those around me if I succeeded. In the end that was what caused me to turn the corner, the selfishness of the act, that the pain I would cause was much deeper and would affect way more people than any amount of pain or hate I felt for myself. I don't know if this helps, and as someone else said we are all individuals so what worked for me may not work for you. If you don't want to be hospitalized at least try talking to a professional.

I can't say I can help you, but I will listen to the causes of your pain if you want to share.

Me I think I'm too cowardly for suicide no matter how bad my life becomes, but I haven't reached rock bottom just yet so I'll see about that soon enough.

In regards to mod action, keep in mind your posts may be mocking your own way, but they are going to be seen and interpreted by other people who struggle

As for the topic, yes. I had been studying to be a teacher, and when I started working as one, it wasn't working out. I felt like I was not going to be able to do anything else or support myself ever, and there were other things, and I thought about suicide quite a bit. Actually checked myself into a hospital, but didn't stay there very long because... honestly I had to study for the LSATs, and they wouldn't let me have things like pens. Anti-depressants, finding a new goal, and time helped. I'm more or less ok now. Off meds now and generally not depressed, but if my plan c doesn't work out... who knows.

1-800-273-8255

You can talk to us here and we'll listen... but to my knowledge none of us are really trained to handle this. So, that's the number for the suicide prevention hotline. They can probably offer better advice.

I've considered it many times from ages 10 to early twenties. It just stayed with thoughts though, I never made a serious attempt but it might explain my risk taking. If something were to happen, I would have been fine with it. Not anymore.

One thing that kept me from actually going for suicide is the thought it would hurt the people around me especially my parents. I figure I could always off myself after they go, yet I was off those thoughts long before that happened. (Father is still alive and well) What changed my mind is not something I would recommend. Late night clubbing led to xtc which led to opening up, long talks and the realization things were not so bad. Later I found out it is actually a drug that came from therapy. I was lucky to have a good unpolluted source and no after effects. It's been over 20 years now, I think I'm all right :)

Another thing that helped was Everquest's active community. I couldn't really talk about things with the friends I had in real life but somehow talking about life with a stranger was much easier. That game had tons of down time with forced grouping to get anywhere, perfect anonymous chat room.

You're almost there, my mind settled down in my late twenties / early thirties. Hopefully it will get better for you as well. Early twenties were the worst.