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I am too afraid of death to have ever seriously attempted it, but I've spent a significant portion of my life feeling like it's hardly worth living.
In fact, I'm in a very dark place at the moment, with almost nothing giving me any joy, pleasure, or any positive emotion. I just stumble through each day in a haze of anxiety, sadness, boredom, and emptiness.
I self-harmed from the age of 13 to 22, culminating in slitting my wrist in a fit of depression and ending up in the emergency room needing surgery to reattached severed tendons. Lost the use of my left hand for a few months. Seeing how heartbroken my mother was over this incident made me never try it again, and as of a few weeks ago, I've gone 9 years without self-harming.
That's my experience, for what little it's worth.
As far as talking yourself out of it; every person I know who has attempted suicide, and I know several, all are deeply grateful that they failed and in retrospect say it was the wrong decision to even try. Take that as advice from people who actually went as far as almost succeeding, and who would therefore know more about it than either you or I.
Remember, you are never as alone as you think you are. Heck, I'm just some random idiot on an internet forum, but I would sincerely miss your contributions. And I've never even met you.
Last edited by curl-6 - on 26 August 2020
