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Forums - General Discussion - A Depression Thread

JWeinCom said:
spurgeonryan said:
Starting by never watching any news.

If I see it here that is the extent of my news knowledge. Because.... What am I going to do about any of it? It happens it happens. Shootings, hurricanes, Wars, etc. Later on when some charity at Costco is asking for money I will find out and gladly give.

It is something that I feel keeps me from ever getting depressed. Don't even know the feeling.

Besides here I know little about most major world events and I don't care. Just don't care.

That is step one.

Care about the people around you and who you know first. Then try to take care of the world second.

You're confusing depression with sadness.  Watching world news can make you sad or upset, but rarely truly depressed.

Sadness is a realistic reaction to something negative that has happened.  I.e. my dog died and I'll miss him, and I feel like crying.
Depression is a distorted reaction to something negative that has happened, usually involving negative thoughts targeted at oneself.  I.e. my dog died, and I'll never be happy again, and my dog was the only creature in the world that actually cared about me, and now I have no reason to live, and I'm worthless.
Or it could just be all that negative thinking without a dead dog or any actual trigger.

Something negative that has happened. So a large distorted reaction to bad world news. 

 

All I know is I have never been depressed. So I must be doing something right. I suggest not worrying about the dead dog. Like I said,  just don't care. I had a dog that I had for 12 years die. Didn't let it bother me. Loved that dog. 



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spurgeonryan said:
JWeinCom said:

You're confusing depression with sadness.  Watching world news can make you sad or upset, but rarely truly depressed.

Sadness is a realistic reaction to something negative that has happened.  I.e. my dog died and I'll miss him, and I feel like crying.
Depression is a distorted reaction to something negative that has happened, usually involving negative thoughts targeted at oneself.  I.e. my dog died, and I'll never be happy again, and my dog was the only creature in the world that actually cared about me, and now I have no reason to live, and I'm worthless.
Or it could just be all that negative thinking without a dead dog or any actual trigger.

Something negative that has happened. So a large distorted reaction to bad world news. 

 

All I know is I have never been depressed. So I must be doing something right. I suggest not worrying about the dead dog. Like I said,  just don't care. I had a dog that I had for 12 years die. Didn't let it bother me. Loved that dog. 

Unfortunately, what works for someone won't work for everyone.



spurgeonryan said:
JWeinCom said:

You're confusing depression with sadness.  Watching world news can make you sad or upset, but rarely truly depressed.

Sadness is a realistic reaction to something negative that has happened.  I.e. my dog died and I'll miss him, and I feel like crying.
Depression is a distorted reaction to something negative that has happened, usually involving negative thoughts targeted at oneself.  I.e. my dog died, and I'll never be happy again, and my dog was the only creature in the world that actually cared about me, and now I have no reason to live, and I'm worthless.
Or it could just be all that negative thinking without a dead dog or any actual trigger.

Something negative that has happened. So a large distorted reaction to bad world news. 

 

All I know is I have never been depressed. So I must be doing something right. I suggest not worrying about the dead dog. Like I said,  just don't care. I had a dog that I had for 12 years die. Didn't let it bother me. Loved that dog. 

No... that's really not how it works.  Because brain chemistry.

With all due respect, if you haven't experienced depression and have no expertise in the subject, you probably shouldn't be advising depressed people.  



Think it like this;
1) You’re depressed and you want to kill yourself, having suicidal thoughts,
2) Will you actually go to that limit at attempting to kill yourself? No, your body and your instinct will always prevent you from actually killing yourself.
3) So stop thinking about it. It worked for me.



Given that 2017 started off with my wife cheating on me it was suggested that I should be depressed and go into therapy, after 2 sessions my therapist said I was rather healthy and fine and to just come back if I felt any of it getting to me, it's been pretty much exactly 12 months now and I'm still not sure what I make of my emotions towards what went down, there's days where I don't give a rats about it and just enjoy gaming and love my job, but there are other times where I consider what it would be like ------- to do something violent and bad, I'm fairly sure it's normal given what happened but fuck it I can't tell if I've ever felt depressed about it, just yeaaa.... bottled up rage seems to be my go to guy for escape.

I've not had alcohol in years as well, but more so this year I've avoided it because I dare think what a drunk me without full control over the feelings I have might well do, it's worrying in a way but just another thing I do each day.

Don't ever follow through on an act to hurt yourself though VG or anyone else here, regardless of what you might think, no one is as important on this earth as you, if your boss makes you feel like shit or your family, loved ones, whatever, know that they're their own person, they have to deal with that when they sleep at night, but you just mind number 1, you have just 1 life to live and don't let anyone else ever make you feel like that life isn't the greatest gift anyone will ever give you.

Last edited by Ganoncrotch - on 23 January 2018

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TorterraBoy said:
Think it like this;
1) You’re depressed and you want to kill yourself, having suicidal thoughts,
2) Will you actually go to that limit at attempting to kill yourself? No, your body and your instinct will always prevent you from actually killing yourself.
3) So stop thinking about it. It worked for me.

It's not as simple as "stop thinking about it." It's not some switch you can just flick on and off like the light in your bedroom.  People are depressed for a wide variety of reasons and in order for them to overcome their depression, they need to have the strength and support to address and overcome what is causing them depression in the first place. 
For example, say a woman is in depression because she suffers from domestic violence; Do you really think "stop thinking about it" is going to work for her? Probably not. She would have to go through a very long and difficult process of admitting she is being abused, find the strength within herself to seek support and leave her abusive partner, use all the help and resources at her disposal, (family, friends, community, supportive programs, etc.) to help her become self supportive, move on from her abusive relationship, and eventually, and hopefully, overcome her depression. 
That's just one example out of thousands, and every single one is different from the other. 



Great thread. Thanks for making it. I’ve been depressed on occasion throughout my life. Mostly when bad things happen like my grandpa passing away in 99, my failed first marriage, my daughter we had together taken from my drug addict ex wife and adopted 2 1/2 years ago. But I try not to let it get me down and just keep pushing through. That’s all we can do in the end.

Just stay strong and keep fighting. Never ever give up. No matter what happens.



This thread is making me depressed. I should stop reading these comments! :c

PS: Btw, I was depressed when I was 12 (parents got divorced) until I was at least 18 years old. As I grew up, I realized I was the one in charge of my life, and that If I didn't do something things would stay the same forever or maybe worse. Since then I started making new friends and dating. Worked wonders. This year I'll move to another city to start another chapter in my life with my boyfriend... away from my homophobic family. I'm quite anxious and excited! Btw, therapy did wonders (and I didn't take any medications... tried once, but realized it was not for me).

Last edited by LipeJJ - on 23 January 2018

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in 2016 my wife got really depressed. She stopped to do anything. all she was doing is sleep 15 hours a day, and stay in bed to read about autism because she was convinced that our older daugther was asperger. i had to take care of our two daugther by my own most of the time (they were 2 and 3 at the time), and take care of the house (laundry, cooking, cleaning, gardening...) it went for 6 month before she got a breakdown at her job, yelling at her boss, and everyone there. she was put on a sickness leave for a year or so)

turns out she was asperger herself. she got diagnosed, and got antidepressive therapy. and things went better until she returned to work in september last year. She's fine now.

however, i bordered burnout for a while last year. after the 6 depression months of my wife which was rough for me, as i had to take care of everything, try to support her, and not really having time to take care of myself. even after my wife got better i was still had to go to work alone, taking the kids to the daycare, and getting them back after work. you see, my wife and i work at the same hospital, on the same shifts. So before she stopped working, she was always there to help me with the kids (because young kids in the back seat often yell and fight) and help me to get them at the daycare. so al of the sudden i was alone, in winter where i have to get up, wake the kids, have them eat breakfast, putting their clothes on, boots, coats, etc. remove all that at the daycare and do the same after work.

i start smoking, which i had stopped for 4 years, i almost abandoned my univeristy class that i do online at night, sometimes i was crying without a reason. fortunately, i'm almost over this now, and everything is much better.

all that to say that depression is tough, and tough for people around you too. it's very important to get help and see a professonal about it as soon as you realised that something is wrong.



Marach said:
in 2016 my wife got really depressed. She stopped to do anything. all she was doing is sleep 15 hours a day, and stay in bed to read about autism because she was convinced that our older daugther was asperger. i had to take care of our two daugther by my own most of the time (they were 2 and 3 at the time), and take care of the house (laundry, cooking, cleaning, gardening...) it went for 6 month before she got a breakdown at her job, yelling at her boss, and everyone there. she was put on a sickness leave for a year or so)

turns out she was asperger herself. she got diagnosed, and got antidepressive therapy. and things went better until she returned to work in september last year. She's fine now.

however, i bordered burnout for a while last year. after the 6 depression months of my wife which was rough for me, as i had to take care of everything, try to support her, and not really having time to take care of myself. even after my wife got better i was still had to go to work alone, taking the kids to the daycare, and getting them back after work. you see, my wife and i work at the same hospital, on the same shifts. So before she stopped working, she was always there to help me with the kids (because young kids in the back seat often yell and fight) and help me to get them at the daycare. so al of the sudden i was alone, in winter where i have to get up, wake the kids, have them eat breakfast, putting their clothes on, boots, coats, etc. remove all that at the daycare and do the same after work.

i start smoking, which i had stopped for 4 years, i almost abandoned my univeristy class that i do online at night, sometimes i was crying without a reason. fortunately, i'm almost over this now, and everything is much better.

all that to say that depression is tough, and tough for people around you too. it's very important to get help and see a professonal about it as soon as you realised that something is wrong.

Jesus, it sounds like you have a ton on your plate to deal with, it would not be surprising in the slightest to feel burned out given every thing going on, really though, when it comes to your own studies, you should never put your own life and improvement on hold because of a partner, I was in a very similar situation putting off my stuff to take care of the household and doing her stuff for a few years, once you stop having respect for the things you want to do yourself then others will just walk over you.

I don't mean to sound harsh obviously since it sounds like you're doing great work with your 2 kids, but just remember that you need something for yourself as well, although I'm sure seeing both your kids happy is fairly great at the end of the day huh :)

Just take care of yourself sometimes too mate.



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