some were fairly nice about it. Others were straight up creeps. Granted, I think she is dressed up to get attention (obviously, for the video) Nice tight clothes, hair well done.
I'm not outraged by it but I can see how it can be annoying.
some were fairly nice about it. Others were straight up creeps. Granted, I think she is dressed up to get attention (obviously, for the video) Nice tight clothes, hair well done.
I'm not outraged by it but I can see how it can be annoying.
o_O.Q said: the thing about this is that ok women have to go through a lot of unwanted advances from men because of men acting on their sexual desire for women but what is the solution? even if we sit down with boys and reiterate to them over and over and over again that certain things are wrong there will be some who will still choose to disregard what they are told and continue doing what they want people in society generally understand that murder, theft, rape etc are wrong but they still happen why? because some people will choose to disregard the laws and commit acts of evil behavior occurs on a spectrum meaning there will always be people who will go beyond the accepted standard for behavior however, i personally think men as a whole need to start focusing less on garnering approval from women and instead spend more time in improving themselves and pursuing activities that they find enjoyable i mean i can't really believe that there are businesses that profit from teaching men how to draw in women telling guys they need to do this, this and this spending loads of money all for what? to feel validation from a woman? just seems lame as hell imo i think to a large extent this stems from the pressure that is placed on men to be appealing to women, that if you cannot appease women then you are not a real man should men choose to tone down their vigor in terms of pursuing women, they are not real men etc ironically a lot of this shaming actually comes from women so its partially a self perpetuating problem shame men for pursuing you, when they stop and withdraw their attention shame them again for not being man enough to appease women etc |
All of what you said is very true. The thing is I don't think a thing like this requires a black and white response, but more to offer a chance for people to reflect that maybe their advances really aren't wanted. The amount of guys who are like ''WTF, they're just saying hi'' is evidence that many people don't even consider this.
MDMAlliance said:
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#1 No one said strangers don't say hi to others. I have been greeted myself, most of time because we come in more close proximity. Example: getting into an elevator, opening a door as someone is coming out, making eye contact. More often then not it is a worker and rarely are adjectives attached to such greetings.
#2 You wouldn't literally know they greeted every person who crossed their path but it's not hard to see someone engaing others before you come up to them nor that hard to hear them engaing others after you have passed them.
#3 Maybe but most would think that that amount of closeness to an individual going the same way as you is not very appropriate unless they are oblivious. And since he greeted her first that doesn't sound likely.
pepharytheworm said:
#1 No one said strangers don't say hi to others. I have been greeted myself, most of time because we come in more close proximity. Example: getting into an elevator, opening a door as someone is coming out, making eye contact. More often then not it is a worker and rarely are adjectives attached to such greetings. #2 You wouldn't literally know they greeted every person who crossed their path but it's not hard to see someone engaing others before you come up to them nor that hard to hear them engaing others after you have passed them. #3 Maybe but most would think that that amount of closeness to an individual going the same way as you is not very appropriate unless they are oblivious. And since he greeted her first that doesn't sound likely. |
The issue is that the assumption shouldn't be made, and the fact it was called harassment is taking it too far. I'm not arguing that the people aren't doing it, but we're basing it off of assumptions led by the dialogue of the video. I would say that it is likely that most of them, if not all of the strangers, were perhaps motivated by her being female, but calling it harassment is too much and the proof to claim that it was their motivation isn't there.
This is one of the issues I really find strange that people want legislation for, because it's way too abstract and people can too easily be falsely accussed under the right unfortunate circumstances. I think only if there's a reasonable threat of harm or a harm being done should something really be done about it. The mentality isn't something you can change by making videos like these.
teigaga said:
All of what you said is very true. The thing is I don't think a thing like this requires a black and white response, but more to offer a chance for people to reflect that maybe their advances really aren't wanted. The amount of guys who are like ''WTF, they're just saying hi'' is evidence that many people don't even consider this. |
i suppose that this generally stems from men having to initiate things with women in the vast majority of cases
so for women then to tell them that they don't want them to initiate contact is a bit of a shock
i'll try to analyse what may go through a guys head: since women don't generally initiate the contact and i'm not supposed to either where does that leave me with regards to relationships?
they may be asking themselves: how then do i get with someone i like etc
just looking at this from the male perspective
teigaga said:
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Is pursuing someone because you want to have sex with them wrong?
i can't agree with you on the objectification bit wanting to have sex with someone does not mean that you disregard their mental and spiritual aspects
and honestly the whole notion about objectification is very one sided
it is almost exclusively used to demonise male sexual desire
however, when we have people go to war to die for ridiculous lies that is far far worse because we are regarding them as objects to die for our safety
and somehow i never hear about how objectified soldiers are
So... guys wanted to nail her. Guys said hi. She made it clear it she was not interested. 99% of them dropped it and moved on.
Some of the guys were out of line, but there were relatively few cases of out and out harassment. As long as the guy backs off when the woman ignores him, I'd say it's fine. It might be annoying, but it's not like there aren't tons of annoying things in NYC either way.
So what happens when a low self-esteemed guy actually muscles up the courage to speak to a woman by saying "Hi, how are you doing today" and she just throws the harassment card at him because she's waiting and expecting disrespectful comments? That would be pretty messed up.
I saw this video making the rounds earlier in the week on all major news networks and websites, and while all the people who support the video say it proves just how hard women have it today and how much they are "harassed" on a daily basis, I and many more people took away something entirely different from the video...
95% of the men "harassing" the woman in the video are black / brown men, who are usually just hanging around on street corners or outside of convenience stores during the middle of the day. Take from that what you will.
On 2/24/13, MB1025 said:
You know I was always wondering why no one ever used the dollar sign for $ony, but then I realized they have no money so it would be pointless.