True indeed, it's better to use something else first just in case. But it's also possible to get one for just literally a couple of euros/dollars, and the quality is good for the price (and the sensations are much better than with random items at home).

Also, that reminds me of something: a bit of hand cream can work wonders as a replacement for lube in these cases (and, apart from not being expensive, it's very discrete - no one would guess how it's used). Soap can work too, but I don't recommend it.

Putting labels on things that matter is cool. Sadly sexuality and whatever gender one thinks they are does not matter at all and anyone who tries to leverage labels for it is an a-class idiot and probably an asshole.

I'm fine if a straight guy likes being pegged, but the analogy is iffy. I would say anal sex is a bit more integral to the gay man experience than eating pasta is to being Italian (yeah I know gay men don't all do it, but I'd assume it's more prevalent than pasta loving). I just think there's a stronger connection between how you choose to have sex and your sexuality than your food preference and your nationality.

Speaking of italians and choice of sex though, I remember an episode of the Sopranos where Tony was making fun of another mobster for going down on his girlfriend cause apparently eating out a woman is considered gay, at least in the universe of the Sopranos. "Do I smell pussy on your breath? Fucking homo!"

Also, really not sure why I gay man would choose only to be a bottom. Seems like the raw end of the deal. Being a top only is good work, if you can get it I guess. If I were gay I'd definitely use some kind of rotation system. Also, I would alternate who gets to be top or bottom.

I thought this thread was about Barbra Streisand,

why were you browsing vgc in a park?

This is how I can tell you’re a straight guy, haha! Many men, myself included, are exclusively bottom because we love how it feels! It’s absolutely not the raw end of the deal and there are many gay men who only take the “passive” (bottom) role, just as there are many who only take the “active” (top) role. Many also alternate (flip/flop) and many gay men do not like anal sex at all, whether in giving or receiving. My main source of bemusement has always come from the cliché of gay men “bending over” - out of all the thousands of times I’ve had sex, the amount of time I’ve spent bent over is minimal. I guess it just shows an extreme lack of imagination or lack of understanding of human anatomy. 

This is a really weird thread but also kinda cool to be able to talk openly about this stuff. I’m not a prude and love sex but it’s still cool when you see gay and straight people talk about gay sex - after all, I hear/see a lot about straight sex or sexuality in the media (of course I would, most people are straight, I don’t see this as a problem). 

Can you have an orgasm through anal sex? I assume gay men like orgasms, and I thought stimulating the penis was the way to get there. Anal sex to me seems like it'd be like getting a blowjob that never gets finished off.

And, I'm just not into anal stuff in general. Like... I wouldn't push a girl to do it. I kind of feel like it's something I don't imagine I'd enjoy, so I assume she wouldn't either. If a girl really wanted it... I guess I'd try it? But so far I've never been put on the spot.

Oh it is absolutely possible to orgasm exclusively from anal. IT's not super common, but it's definitely possible. I've only done it like 2 or 3 times, and it was probably the most intense, body-rocking climax I've ever felt. Remember, the brain is the primary sex organ. 

Think about it this way: If a man grows up and realizes they're trans, and thus not a man and they get a gender reassignment surgery, you think they're gonna do that knowing they will go the rest of their lives without orgasms?

Yeah, it's weird to think about things you can't fathom. Like, to a straight man such as yourself, it must absolutely be foreign as hell to think about getting off to anal, or to climaxing without penis interaction. But, for people with different sexuality and different things that make them tick, think of it this way: You don't have a tail, but that doesn't mean a dog cannot wag theirs. I know it's not an exactly perfect analogy, but different people do feel differently about different things. So just because you are not familiar with the concepts doesn't mean they aren't valid (and no I'm not insinuating you think anal sex is invalid). 

It took me forever to figure out a lot about myself, and to understand how different bodies work. But with an open mind and a lot of friends in the kink community, I was able to broaden my perspective and understand things I used to not even remotely contemplate. Like you, I used to think you needed phallic stimulation to get off, but here we are. 

We do understand that Penis in Vagina sex is an overwhelming majority of sexual encounters in this world and throughout history, but there's a lot more out there to explore. The only way we'll collectively get better educated and more openminded is to allow ourselves to have these conversations and open ourselves to perspectives that may be beyond our initial understanding.  

You can have orgasms in many ways without any simulation to the penis.

I guess if you have to put a label on it, what makes you gay is if you fall in love with someone from the same sex. I mean, if you're into group sex or orgies, it doesn't make you a polygamist.