I have imagined myself streaming but I lack the set-up and environment for it. Besides unless you're uber good at video games or a woman willing to exploit herself I don't see how I could build enough of an audience from 0 to live off of.

Well that's part of the problem, there's nothing I want to pursue, no jobs I want to do. Another issue is actually getting a job and maintaining it. Back when I was still trying somewhat, I sent out dozens of resumes but was only hired for 2 jobs that I only got because of recommendations and was fired due to social issues.

Ha, tell that to the many women out there looking to date up, not that I'd be interested in those types. Like you said, money is necessary so it kinda has to be priority.

I live in the U.S. and even if that was a thing here, hell no! What a terribly selfish reason to have child that would be. D:

what does it mean you are already in u.s.? can you live on welfare and get a free appartement, health insurance, enough money per month for food in the u.s.?

I'm relatively happy with my small clique of friends and family though I do feel isolated quite a bit, especially now that I'm working from home and no longer go to school. I do sometimes yearn for the days of my 20s when I socialized more often and with more people, though I am ultimately an introvert and take comfort in being alone a lot so it's a constant battle in my head I guess you can say lol.

Parents and my mom's side of the family are, for the most part great and loving, but both my grandparents passed fairly recently and my dad's side has basically no family so my family certainy isn't vast.

Well it might be worth calling out to them if it's as bad with your folks as you say.

Trust me when I say, I have many failures, and regrets. Though I also have some successes. I try to feed on BOTH and use as motivating factors in their own ways. This is how we grow.

It may be cliche as hell but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I won't accept defeat.

Then get a job so you don't end up homeless. Take that as motivation.

Self defense, man. You are trying to defend yourself from failure, but you don't need to do that.

So there is this indoor swimming pool in my hometown and it has a tower which you can jump off from three different heights (1m, 3m, 5m). Young me wanted to be as cool as all my friends who already jumped off the 5m spot. As I slowly walked towards the edge I felt my knees shaking in fear. Watching someone jump off it looks so easy, but standing there yourself is a completely different story. My toes touched the edge. I looked down and almost fainted because it looked scary as fuck, like ten times higher. What if I fell in a dumb way and hurt myself? What if the others laughed at me? What if I chicken out and climb back down, will I be a loser forever? My friends became impatient already and asked me to jump the fuck down now. In the end it took me several minutes to jump and I was really scared, but I did it anyway.

What I'm trying to tell is that sometimes you just need to act, even if you're afraid of the consequences. Because only then you will know what you like and what not, and only then you can expand your limits. After I jumped off that damn tower it suddenly lost every bit of scare, and so do many other things in life as well once you tackle them. I know this is not applicable on everything and anything, but on many things. This is in some way similar to what Darthmetallicube tried to express, I think. Just do something and learn from it. And also learn from failure. Everybody - boys and girls alike - is scared as fuck to approach somebody for the first time and just have a normal conversation that may or may not end in a relationship, but they say practice makes perfect for a reason. The more you do something the better you get. And yes, I believe that this is applicable to social skills as well. The more you deal with people the better you understand to behave among them. Nobody gets born as a social idiot. Everybody has the option to improve.

Pessimistic people often share a great fear of failure. It is okay to be a pessimist. I don't think pessimists are instantly bad and optimists are instantly good, but I think that pessimists tend to limit themselves much more than necessary. I see that in your posts as well, but I really don't think you need to do that. You're cool. Stop making excuses and gain some experience, no matter which kind.

Life is an RPG after all.

There are resources out there that can help point you in the right direction and give you ideas for a career that suits your personality.  My favorite is "Strengths Finder 2.0".  (You have to buy a book, but it's worth it IMO.)  There are also the Holland Codes which you can look at via a free online test.  Here are some links:

https://www.amazon.com/StrengthsFinder-2-0-Tom-Rath/dp/159562015X

https://www.truity.com/test/holland-code-career-test

I can't speak to set-up or environment but didn't you take top honors in many a splatfest or at least rank really high?  I'd guess you may have more skill than you are giving yourself credit for.

Nope it doesn't need to be priority.

You need some money, but not to let it take control of your life.

You also don't need skills to get a following, you need charisma, you can absolutely suck ass at gaming and make a lot of people still watch you play.

There is one thing people are attracted to, and its passion, if you have passion for gaming you'll be interesting to other people, because you love what they love, so they'll like you.

About all the other options, you might just not realise what you would like to do.

Let's take an example, you have a dolphin avatar so I suppose you like dolphins, do you know there are people out there making a living by taking care of animals such as dolphins and others? People that work in aquariums for example.

There is also work so satisfying to do people do them while not getting even paid. Works that involve dolphins, for example, and they can travel to a lot of places trying to take care of those animals, while funded by some organization.

The thing is, you need to start doing something, anything, and you'll realise just about anything can become a job/money maker.

Getting back to the end of my previous post and start of this one, you don't need to let money be the priority.

You don't need to make 100K a year, you don't need to have a big house filled with stuff, you don't need to have a traditional job where you send resume applications, you can even work in a damn small store, the point is you only need some money to make a living, you don't need to pursue it, and you can be happy living your life doing small profit, seriously, you don't need a lot of money.

You just can't settle doing nothing, because then life will hit hard on you, and you'll realise how easier is to make something here and there instead.

Anyway, you have enough motivation to share it with us and ask trying to find some solution, don't fool yourself, you have motivation, just try to look to things around you a bit easier on yourself, you'll do just fine.

I'll be hoping to hear more on your end.

You have decided that you don't want to do anything, you need to change that attitude before you can change your life.

Work can be boring and stressful, but working, making an effort, is also good for the mind, having an occupation is good.

It's not easy to take a step ahead but you need to do it.

You say there are things you like, you can very well think of a way to make money with them.

You are the same age as me, and I know very well how you feel.

Think a bit about how you are feeling, why did you accept to feel like a loser, and how you can change it.

You are not a loser, that's only a state of mind, and you can change it.

Take a small step and accept to change your attitude a bit at a time, and keep doing it.

You are the only one that can change your life, start doing it, it's hard, it really is, but you can do it slowly, even just trying to do it will already make you feel better, even if you fail, if you are failing it's because you are trying, and it'll eventually turn out well.

You know points you can improve on as your work ethics and laziness you mentioned.

You just need to start trying.

Like I've said, knowing I need to a do a thing is not enough to get me to do it. You say things will eventually turn out well but you have no proof or evidence of this, whereas I've plenty of reason to believe otherwise. Sorry I'm being difficult, I know you're only trying to help, but I think I'm well past the point where words will do anything for me. There's really nothing that can be said that I haven't already heard or thought of before.