Well that's up to her, isn't it? The ask is out there.

The over-analysations are strong with this one. But really, what's going on? Are you getting somewhere with this or what?

I followed Conegamer's advice (and eschewed yours, NiKKoM, sorry!), initiating the following conversation

Either i've blown it, or she just thinks the question is more of a statement and hasn't responded. Which yes, i know is exactly the problem with going to online communication: the other party doesn't have to answer. But i've long since tired of the minimum face-time thing, so it was time to change up a bit.

Atleast you did something! I'll be completely honest with you, it doesn't seem too good that she hasn't responded, but maybe you should just do it face to face (in person!! not facetime!). That way you'll either a) get "dumped" or b) She says yes. Either way it's probably better than this limbo you appear to be stuck in.

That is some crazy formatting.

Damn you for making coffee suddenly a big thing.. By asking it that way its much much formal and not casual at all..
The whole point of the coffee thing is thats a naturel thing in your daily life and asks if she wants to join you.. Now its a mini-date.. Thats something she's gonna wanna think about..

Now she has time to think about it, who are you, are you nice, how about your friends, are you creepy, why didn't he asked face to face when i saw him a few times.. But what a dick are you.. You knew she was having this presentation but you still asked her probably breaking her focus for it

And by using instant messages its the cheap way out. There is a real difference in asking her in person or not.. 1. Its personal 2. Shows confidence. 3. you get an answer right away and see her face when she responce..

I'm not saying you blew it cause thankfully you tried to chat with her a few times.. She probably blow you of with some excuse she's gonna have a drink with her class partner.. So try again.. In person

And it should have been: "lets grab a coffee afterwards" way less informal and a statement instead of that "Maybe afterwards we could get a coffee together?" who talks that way in real life..

I should have just left out the question mark. Then it becomes a statement and not an ask. I'm kind of hoping she interpreted it that way and that's why she hasn't responded, but it doesn't sound that abnormal to me. "Maybe after this we can grab some chipotle?" would be a perfectly natural thing to say. Plus i tend to write much more formally than i talk, including in fb chat (or mod chat, as my fellows know).

At the end of the day, it boils down to whether she has mutual interest, which is not a factor i can influence too much (well, i could kill interest by being creepy, but i don't think i've done that yet). If it's not there, it's not there, and whatever format i try to solicit interest in doesn't really matter.

See "fellows".. Thats a totally different thing than "women".. Every word you write will be analyzed.. A 1000 times.. As a man on the hunt you need to cut down that time they can actually think about it.. So yes the way you solicit does matter a lot.. Face to face is a 1000 times better than an instant message always, unless your a few years into a relationship and the meesages you send are this: "Dinner?" and i respond "Chinese".. No need to spend time talking about it.

Think about it: When you meet a girl in a bar, you don't chat with her for a few minutes then go to the bathroom and then text her for a drink together. That basicly what you just did. 

Its not about mutual interest, its about making you interesting enough for her to notice.. You're (were) at that stage

I thought she *wasn't* analyzing everything i said or did?

That seemed to be what you all have been telling me throughout this thread.