The last message you send.. Thats was a message to analyse.. I don't even understand why you would send it right then at that moment. She'll analyze it 100%. "hey i helped you with a suggestion now you and me are getting coffee.. Together".. The reason why we said to keep it lighter and casual was to prevent it from becoming a big deal for her. Now you kinda pushed coffee into a big deal by asking it the way you asked..

She probably doesn't know what to think of you.. Yet.. It happens.. Some women need time to start liking a guy.. You met her 2 months ago, and you know more about her but that doesn't mean she knows anything about you.. 

:-/

Seems to be more misunderstanding here. I thought moving quickly was the point. Not overplaying my hand, stating that i'm head-over-heels for her or anything, but demonstrating that i am interested in getting to know her, specifically, in a one-on-one setting. Clear intentions without going too far in my aims or emotional presentation. That if you let these things go on for months without clarifying your intentions, you get friendzoned and there goes the neighborhood.

Without stating as much, i'm signaling "I am attracted to you and would like a chance to get to know you a little better to see if we are compatible."

Is it really supposed to be more complicated than that? I mean, one of my primary goals here has been to avoid putting any kind of pressure on her while still not being so subtle that i won't get noticed. No games, no gimmicks.

Moving quickly in person! face to face............... -__-" the rest is correct.. But she doesn't know you that well yet. So its up most important to look in her eyes when even asking her for a coffee.. If you would go on a real date you also wouldn't text her right?

Lets say it in a different way: it doesn't matter how much i tried, how good I'm with words.. I don't have a chance with Trashleg if i asked her out through this website: She doesn't know me that well, she might find me creepy and never talk to me again.
But.. if i flew to her, stood at her door, ring the bell and she would open, and say: "lets have those waffles".. She could see my eyes being serious and I could see the shock in her eyes right before she punches me in the balls..

Completly different reaction to the same question.

And yes its supposed to be this complicated..

Btw.. You probably only screwed up this approach.. Shrug it off.. Don't you think Kirby or I also got no's or no responces on our requests?. Get back on your feet and try again..

Mostly i tried it because i was sick of the lack of face-time. Minimal chances to talk to her (and that's completely ignoring the question of it being "the right time" to talk to her, just me seeing her period) got to me. I didn't want to blow it completely, of course, but i did want to prod some movement.

So i kind of knew it wasn't the best idea, but i've been growing impatient, and tried to play it carefully (not just come out swinging with an ask, but embed it as part of at least a small conversation).

Ow its perfectly logical why you tried it.. You just failed in understanding that it takes 2 persons to dance.. The whole coffee thing is not only about you getting to know her but also for her to get to know you and to form an opinion about you.. Aka are you date worthy or not.. You are dancing around her and she doesn't notice it or hasn't decided yet to dance with you.. Just keep dancing around her.. Don't be scared to fall a few times.. Just keep dancing

Patience was perhaps what i needed here

"thank you! I would like to its just this is my hell week btn the presentation and 2 papers! but maybe next week?"

"That'd be great, and i feel you on that. I've been crunching out one paper a week since the last weekend of October, and have two to go :-/"

I'm not an expert in dating so you can ignore my advice or input, but how long does having a cup of coffee even take? And you guys have the same class. Couldn't you guys work on the same homework or studies after the coffee break?

Presumably, but no need to pressure her.

My schedule actually works out well for it: i have an hour between our class and my work in the dean's office at school, means i have an easy out to help keep it casual.