LEAKED - Microsoft E3 2014

On the DL. This info comes from the highest source and contains near full details of Nintendo E3 2014 direct. I have had corroborations from a number of sources to its legitimacy:

• Star wars Rogue Squadron U. This is a full (multiplayer included) visual makeover of Rogue Squadron, it will also include the original version.

•  I Know what U did last summer. A film to game of the old but weirdly popular film franchise where you score points for killing friends and family with your tablet, all tracked by the accelerometers, cameras and miiverse sharing system.

• Mario Overdose. A charming little collection of every mario game in existance on one compilation disk pack, not available in stores, order now for just $59.99, thats right, just $59.99, but wait theres more, order before 3pm and receive not one but TWO yoshi themed placemats too.

• GTAV - That's right, the blockbuster title GTAV is coming to WiiU, including the exclusive DLC pack "Dude, where's my car?" and special WiiU only functionality of touch input during hooker encounters.

• Iwata will appear on stream wearing nothing put a child pair of pink Princess peach panties, viewers watching via their WiiU or 3DS can use their touchscreen to spank him with wads of virtual cash.

• The Last Guardian - Yes, somehow the game is coming to WiiU, because fuck Sony.

• A series of adult themed games will be appearing on the 3DS starting with Thrixxx's "3D Sex Villa 2" in a bit to attract a wider, older audience.

• Boot animation will be added to WiiU and 3DS to feature use of the NFC functionality, they will detect the presence of a PS4 or Xbox One and show Mario dry humping one, or both.

• Due to clerical error that went unchecked, the WiiU is actually at 61M units sold because some dumbass put the decimal point in the wrong place.

• Halo, Ratchet and clank, Resistance, Killzone, Uncharted, Forza, Gears and Minecraft are now all Nintendo owned exclusives.

• Multi-platforms are as follows:

The Division (WiiU is now lead platform)
Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare U
Fallout 4 U
EA game (not specified here and theres no reason to, we dont buy EA games anyway)

Exclusive DLC on all, not timed, life exclusives so suck it Sony/MS fans.

Source: https://0-media-cdn.foolz.us/ffuuka/board/m/image/1368/67/1368672553434.jpg

There, now we have the whole damn set of make-believe "leaks".

Wow
so edgy
much original

Look like Nintendo has won E3... for the next few years with this ond

But they aren't doing a Direct... they are doing a Digital Event.

At least make it halfway believable. Rogue Squadron was a good start...

Wait, this is obviously fake!

EA holds the Star Wars license! There's no way they'd make a Rogue Squadron game for the Wii U!

Lol don't worry Nintendo will have something sweet up their sleeves. They always do. I 'd be excited for a new Metroid game that's more like Super Metroid, and another Zelda is always needed. Also Earthbound 2/Mother 4 would be fantastic. Ah but one can dream.

You forgot Grand Theft Auto x Kirby, the crossover that everyone's been waiting for.

Well, at least this is more realistic than the Sony/MS leaks.