My favorite joke is:

Why are black people so tall?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Because their knee grows!

Its funny because you think its going to be something horribly racist, but its not!

people!
there are heaps of awesome jokes out there
look for them and get posting
as an example someone find the one from "assasins" starring sylvester stallone
there is an awesome joke on there



little girl: mummy!, mummy!
mum: yes dear
little girl: wats a penis?
mum: its something that boys have
little girl: can i have one?
mum: no you cant, you a little girl!
little girl: BUT I WANT ONE!! i want one mummy, I WANT ONE!!
mum: ok, ok, i tell you what, if you a good girl when you older you can have one if you choose
little girl: what if im a bad girl mummy??
mum: well.... (sigh) i guess you can have as many as you want

3 best mates from high school get engaged(to different woman) and they celebrate
they decide at this party to get married on the same day and go on honeymoon on the same days to the same location.
so the wedding takes place
and they all set off to their destination

they meet up at the bar that night and come up with a competition, see who can have sex the most overnight. but telling each other how many times they did without the wives finding out what they talking about would be hard. so they came up with toast for breakfast, how ever many slices of toast you order for breakfast would be how many times they had sex

the next day at breakfast, they are sitting at different tables and the first guy orders breakfast
"i'll have 2eggs, bacon, some sausages, and 4 slices of toast"
the other two guys keep quiet but they are both impressed
the second guy orders
"i'll have the special, with 6 slices of toast please"
the first guy and the last are even more impressed
then the last guy orders
"i'll have the works, with 8 slices of toast, oh and can you make 4 of those brown!!"

2 priests decided to head down to the bathroom and take shower after a game of squash
while in the bathroom they get undressed and everything but they realize they left the soap back in their room
one of the priests decides to run back to the room and grab 2 bars of soaps and since it is quiet late he assumed no one would see him. on the way back from the room he hears footsteps so not knowing wat to do he freezes on the spot like a statue
3 nuns are coming past and see the priest standing there, but because they have never seen a naked male body they dont know it is real
nun1: it looks so real
nun2: go ahead and touch it see wat its like
nun3: go ahead touch it, quickly before anyone sees!
so the first nun reaches over and touches his penis
startled the priest drops one of the bars of soap
nun1: wow! look wat i got a bar of soap
nun2: my turn, i want a bar of soap too
so she walks over and gives it a pull, startled again the priest drops the second bar of soap
nun2: look at this!! i got one too!
so the third nun tries to get in on the action
she grabs the priests ding-dong and gives it a tug
then another, and another, and another...
nun3: oh look its hand cream!!!

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts, "Save the women!"
George W. Bush hysterically hollers, "Screw the women!"
Bill Clinton's asks excitedly, "Do we have time?"

Ooh, here's one my friend told me.

Dick Cheney asks George Bush a question: If my father and mother have a child, and it's not my brother or sister, who is it? Bush is unable to answer, and runs off, looking for a telephone. He calls Barack Obama and asks the question. Obama answers "Why, me, of course!"
Bush, very excited, decides to ask somebody this question. So he calls Condoleeza Rice and asks "If my father and mother have a child, and it's not my brother or sister, who is it?"
Rice thinks for a while and answers "Me!"
Bush replies "No, you idiot! It's Barack Obama!"

So 4 musicians and a drummer come into a bar... :D

Good for a chuckle =P

thats actually pretty good, sad thing is had to read it twice before i got it!!

A newly wed couple are having the time of their life, sex every day, every position, every where they go.  but it all came to a sudden end when the male of the relationship had to go on a trip for business and could not take his new partner with him. Since he liked satisfying her sexual needs so much, and didnt want her to go without he decides to get her a present, he goes to sex toy shop and asks the shop assistant if there is a toy that he can buy for his wife to cover the situation he is in. the shop keeper says he has just the thing, they are very rare and quiet expensive, its a "vodoo" vibrator. the shop keeper explains all you do is say "vodoo dick" and the location you want it to go to.

quiet happily he buys the vibrator and presents it to his wife and explains to her how to use it.  Ofcourse the very next day after he is gone she decides to give it a test drive! she starts with "vodoo dick my pussy" and the vibrator shoots from her hand and inserts itself in her pussy. soon enough she is climaxing all over the place, she pulls the vibrator out and puts it on the table but it shoots back into her pussy. she cant handle it, climax after climax, she cant turn it off. she manages to call her husband and asks him how to turn it off, ofcourse he has no idea and tells her to go to the shop and ask the attendant how to turn it off.

so she gets into the car with vibrator still up inside her and starts driving to the shop. she driving all over the place as she climaxes yet again.  A police car notices her and pulls her over. fairly embarrased she explains the situation to the cop. and all the cop says to her is "yeah right!! vodoo dick my ass"

^LOL!

I'm not to sure how this joke goes but i'll try.

Little Johnny is sitting in class one day when the teacher asks "can someone give me a ten letter word"

Little Johhny shouts back "masterbate"

The teacher replies "thats a mouthful"

Little Johnny without missing a beat "thats a blowjob and its only a seven letter word"