NolSinkler said:
For crying out loud.
(1) Of course it matters what your friends think. They are your friends. They are an important part of your life. Their opinions matter to you. They want what is best for you. And in this case, the OP's friends certainly know that this fat lady is not what is best for him. In other words, he can do better.
- People who live their lives worrying about what their friends think and putting the importance of their friends opinions over their own are quite simple one of two things, stupid or too young to understand.
(2) It is not 'shallow' to not be attracted to a fat person. It is normal. It is also not shallow not to be attracted to members of the same sex, it is not shallow not to be attracted to certain physical features, it is not shallow not to be attracted to someone with messed up teeth. These are perfectly acceptable. These do not make somebody a worse person.
- It's not shallow to not be attracted to a fat person, youre right, but it is shallow to not be attracted to a person, and knowing full well youre not attracted to them continue with a relationship that has a very slim chance of actually working, it is not fair on the other person to lead them on by essentially being dishonest from the start - if he got with her and said 'hey you know what i think your weights repulsive but lets try this out anyway' then fair enough, but chances are he did the opposite - so suddenly using 'your too fat' as a reason to break things off when she most likely is exactly the same weight as she was to begin with is like saying 'sorry i dont want to date you anymore because youre black'.
(3) It is not wrong to try a relationship out. It happens. What relationship begins with two partners being equally attracted to one another in the same ways and for the same things? None.
- Yes i'm sure youre right, but what relationships start with 'i fuck her from behind or with the lights off so she doesnt look as fat' that actually work? very few to none i would imagine.
(4) The guy tried the relationship and it didn't work. Now he wants out. This happens. He didn't get married to the woman and then come back around and say "I want a divorce because I never loved you." Quit painting him as an evil man.
- If she changed between meeting in person and the point at which he decided he wants out then you would be right, but dumping her for a reason that was there from the start is just silly.
(5) Those of you criticizing him are likely those who have to settle for an unattractive mate. In your eyes you see yourself as superior to those who will not settle for mediocrity, because you think to yourself, "I see beneath the surface, I care about personality and not looks, unlike those lesser people." Here you stereotype attractive people as possessing inferior characters, which is not only incorrect but is offensive. The crime? Being attractive and wanting an attractive mate.
- Or maybe its just those who are old enough to actually consider the other persons feelings before bumbling around life as if the only thing that matters if yourself? he had every chance to cool things off and be just friends, thus keeping a girl who by his own admission had a great personality, around without having to embarras himself or mislead her into thinking he thought a certain way about her, but hey, fuck me for considering another persons feelings right?, it absolutely pains me to see the youth of today being so goddamn vain and wishy washy about such matters because "in this day and age" its the norm, if it is indeed the norm then looking around and seeing the rape culture, high divorce rate, high teen mortality rates from suicide and other such shit makes a hell of a lot more sense.
- Common decency costs nothing and unlike your comment does not result from 'making do due to not being attractive', then go out on a limb to suggest an overreaching stereotype of attractive people being lesser - thas bullshit, i know plenty of 'attractive' men and women who are perfectly capable of functioning in normal life with respect and dececy for their fellow humans, but i guess there in lies the rub, these people are adults, adults who were brought up right.
In society today we have pressure to shame and diminish all 'groups' that have been historically empowered. This tendency is extending itself to attractive people. Instead of looking at unattractive people as, well, unattractive, we are subtly encouraged to judge the attractive ones as oppressive, unintelligent, uncaring, unfeeling, and lesser. This is a perfect example of ressentiment.
- Unlike you and 'society' i judge people by their actions, if you feel otherwise then your issue is with failing to understand the difference between being a jerkoff for fucking with another persons emotions by "pretending to not be repulsed", and being a jerkoff because you feel youre attractive.
And who, exactly, decides who is and is not attractive? its something that is ultimately down to the indicidual, some people find others attractive when others do not, character however isnt defined by the way a person looks or by the general opinion of their looks but by their actions, and in this case the actions show a guy who is, by one way or another, shallow.
Will he always be shallow? who knows, the next girl may think hes gods gift, or maybe she will get comfortable, put on a little weight and get dumped too? that remains to be seen, but ill spell it out for you since you seem to have a little trouble understanding.
- it has nothing to do with his looks
- it has nothing to do with wanting to break up
- it has nothing to do with whether or not they had sex
- it has EVERYTHING to do with breaking up due to an issue that was there from the start
But i'm done with this thread, entirely, basic concepts of respect and honesty clearly do not sit way with todays youth for the most part, and the view of those who consider thier actions before making them is one if complete failure to understand simple concepts.
Its these simple traits being missing from the kids of today that make shows like jerry springer and jeremy kyle both amusing and depressing at the same time.
OP, have fun with your life, but for the love of god in future if you end up meeting a girl youre not attracted to, save yourself the hastle and stop there.
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