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NolSinkler said:

For crying out loud.

(1) Of course it matters what your friends think. They are your friends. They are an important part of your life. Their opinions matter to you. They want what is best for you. And in this case, the OP's friends certainly know that this fat lady is not what is best for him. In other words, he can do better.

(2) It is not 'shallow' to not be attracted to a fat person. It is normal. It is also not shallow not to be attracted to members of the same sex, it is not shallow not to be attracted to certain physical features, it is not shallow not to be attracted to someone with messed up teeth. These are perfectly acceptable. These do not make somebody a worse person.

(3) It is not wrong to try a relationship out. It happens. What relationship begins with two partners being equally attracted to one another in the same ways and for the same things? None.

(4) The guy tried the relationship and it didn't work. Now he wants out. This happens. He didn't get married to the woman and then come back around and say "I want a divorce because I never loved you." Quit painting him as an evil man.

(5) Those of you criticizing him are likely those who have to settle for an unattractive mate. In your eyes you see yourself as superior to those who will not settle for mediocrity, because you think to yourself, "I see beneath the surface, I care about personality and not looks, unlike those lesser people." Here you stereotype attractive people as possessing inferior characters, which is not only incorrect but is offensive. The crime? Being attractive and wanting an attractive mate.

In society today we have pressure to shame and diminish all 'groups' that have been historically empowered. This tendency is extending itself to attractive people. Instead of looking at unattractive people as, well, unattractive, we are subtly encouraged to judge the attractive ones as oppressive, unintelligent, uncaring, unfeeling, and lesser. This is a perfect example of ressentiment.

Your friends opinions only matter insofar as you may or may not want to integrate your girlfriend in with your activities. One of my few high school friends that i've retained contact with just got married after a college-long (5 year! he went to pharmacy school) engagement, and i knew very little about his girlfriend because he largely kept her seperate from his "guy" activities. Not because there's anything wrong with her (that i can see. A perfectly sweet girl), just because he wants to keep the spheres separate.



Monster Hunter: pissing me off since 2010.