A relationship is not, "steady" until ALL parties involved feel that way. INCLUDING THE CHILDREN. I almost feel as if you guys have no experience on this topic at all. d21 is obviously trolling a bit and having some fun with me. I like that. Ugh, I wish everyone understood what I am trying to convey. My baby's mother and I have these conversations all the time. To her I, "magically" found a good woman while she struggles. But to me, she advertises herself incorrectly and therefore, meets men like the topic creator. No offense, but she needs to meet men that are ready for that kind of situation. She needs to advertise that as her selling point so people know exactly whaty they are getting into. What happens is, instead of getting random men that cannot handle the situation applying for the relationship, she would get men that are looking for those qualities. It would not be the revolving door you think because the type of men that apply would be DRASTICALLY different than topic creator in mentality about children and her as a woman in the first place.

You don't read threads you post in do you?

i sent u a message

This part justifies exactly what I am trying to say. If someone is a parent, they have no choice but to, "force" their children on you because they are parents. If you see that as a red flag, then get out on day 1 because that is easier than leaving in month 3 or 4. What will end up happening is, people like you will NOT apply, and people like me will. Then she will find the man she is looking to find, and you will find a woman you are looking to find. Life is much easier that way because emotions destroy good judgment so try to keep emotions from getting too strong because the faster someone that is not interested gets out, the faster everyone can find the right person for themselves.

If you are afraid of someone saying they love you too soon, you walk away right then, and same with children. If you are pursuing a relationship today, then the children need to be involved, TODAY! If that is a red flag, get out of the way and let a different type of man apply. But it is on her to advertise it that way, because if she does not, then I do not blame TC for not being able to handle things, coming on a video game message board, and hiding from reality a bit. She must do a better job selling herself.

First she introduce you the the kids.
Next thing you know, she'll lure you with a Nintendo.
Run like hell, man.

More like she didn't want the biological father to be pissed off and stop providing child support.

OP look on the bright side, At least she had kids with one guy. I seen far too many women who have 5 kids 5 fathers where the kids don't resemble each other.

The poi9nt I am making is she can't be all too bad. So it all depends on how you really feel about her and if you want to contiue this relationship. However you need to decide now and CALL HER to let her know. Also make sure your decision is solid as you will only fuck with the kids minds later on if you decide this is too hard for you. Also it would not be fair on her to say how about we keep having sex and me not see the children before I fully commit. That is called using someone.

Well first of all, after two and a half weeks, you should probably get out of the bathroom.

Second, if the kid called you dad you are probably not bad at being one, so I wouldn't sweat about the whole "feeling like a dad / feeling immature" thing. Being a father is something you need to learn, you just don't wake up some day and think "yep, I'm dad material now" and go get a kid. It's the other way around.

Also, the way you handled the situation until now is pretty shitty.

I think it's been too much time that you haven't talked to her. I don't blame you for that, but its probably the truth.
Didn't she never try to contact you in that time?

I went to talk to her this afternoon. I'm not going to go into details but after talking she's gonna give me a second shot but I'm not allowed to see her kids until she says it's okay. One thing that stuck out was that she said I took care of the kids better than the actual father ever did but I'm not sure if that's true or she just wants me to feel more guilty than I already do. After this whole ordeal I think I've learned a something pretty horrible about myself that I hope I can change. As some of you have said I'm not a kid and I need to start growing up.

Thanks for the advice.

Sounds like a great start and you really have the attitude to turn this around.

Well done, and be proud of yourself for taking the first steps.