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Forums - General - ‘You’ve made your choice’: Man shares dad’s brutal letter disowning him for being gay

Mr Khan on 09 August 2012
Frozone said:
"In your world, people choose what sex to be attracted to. In your world, it is natural for a father to block all connections with his son because of a supposed decision that won't harm anyone at all. In your world, any father would be ashamed if its offspring was gay."

No people are brought up to be attracted to the opposite sex, it's the normal way of life like being brought up to not cause crime. Of course a father would cut off their son, a son is a fathers pride and joy, you want them to grow up to have a normal life, get married and have kids. Imagine the fathers embarrassment now if his friends find out his son was gay.

No parent wants their offspring to turn out gay.

In non-bigoted states and countries, they can still grow up to get married and have kids. Only hate-institutions stand in their way.



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Mr Khan on 09 August 2012
happydolphin said:
Mr Khan said:

It would only help the gay-rights cause to see the other end dramatized. What sense would it make to see a film where a child makes a completely inoccuous declaration, and the parents decide they have to do something really drastic like disown them. That's the sort of thing that wicked (or misguided) parents in children's movies do.

You must have not seen the movie Brave, where the audience is called to simpathize with an overly demanding mother.

Yes it would help the gay-rights cause, but not in the way you think it would (to further a hateful agenda where occuring). It would help them to actually attain what they really want: reconciliation. If not, why would we be talking if they didn't care?

Haven't seen it, wouldn't know. I was thinking more along the lines of Matilda.



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happydolphin on 09 August 2012
Mr Khan said:

Haven't seen it, wouldn't know. I was thinking more along the lines of Matilda.

You should watch it, it'll help you. As for Matilda, I've seen Cinderella and I think that would serve as an equivalent if you'd agree. I understand the other side of the coin I'm just not sure you do.



aikohualda on 09 August 2012

I came out to my parents early this year, thank God i didn't get THAT kind of letter...
I wonder how damage will I be if I got the same letter...



 

happydolphin on 09 August 2012
aikohualda said:
I came out to my parents early this year, thank God i didn't get THAT kind of letter...
I wonder how damage will I be if I got the same letter...

How did it go, were they happy, sad? I'd like to know if you don't mind sharing.



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aikohualda on 09 August 2012
happydolphin said:
aikohualda said:
I came out to my parents early this year, thank God i didn't get THAT kind of letter...
I wonder how damage will I be if I got the same letter...

How did it go, were they happy, sad? I'd like to know if you don't mind sharing.

They are not "happy" a little sad initially.

Mom and dad told me, a parent couldn't be happier when their son/daughter is happy, as long as I don't make stupid choices (and no it doesnt include being myself.)



 

Jay520 on 09 August 2012

Frozone said:

1.) No people are brought up to be attracted to the opposite sex, it's the normal way of life like being brought up to not cause crime.

2.) Of course a father would cut off their son, a son is a fathers pride and joy, you want them to grow up to have a normal life, get married and have kids.

3.) Imagine the fathers embarrassment now if his friends find out his son was gay.

1.) As long as it's harmless, deviating from the norm does not warrant disownment.

2,) What if the son told the father that he would be a virgin forever and would never get married? Would that make disownment appropriate? Probably not. The only difference between that example in the real life example is the son is attracted to males. It has nothing to do with marriage or kids. The  father just can't stand the idea of being attracted to males. 

3.) That's not a reason to disown a son. The temporary embarrassment of friends is not significant enough to disown a son.



happydolphin on 09 August 2012
Jay520 said:

Frozone said:

1.) No people are brought up to be attracted to the opposite sex, it's the normal way of life like being brought up to not cause crime.

2.) Of course a father would cut off their son, a son is a fathers pride and joy, you want them to grow up to have a normal life, get married and have kids.

3.) Imagine the fathers embarrassment now if his friends find out his son was gay.

1.) As long as it's harmless, deviating from the norm does not warrant disownment.

2,) What if the son told the father that he would be a virgin forever and would never get married? Would that make disownment appropriate? Probably not. The only difference between that example in the real life example is the son is attracted to males. It has nothing to do with marriage or kids. The  father just can't stand the idea of being attracted to males. 

3.) That's not a reason to disown a son. The temporary embarrassment of friends is not significant enough to disown a son.

Bold is a solid counter-point.



KungKras on 09 August 2012
Player1x3 said:

Sexuality obviously has a lot of influence on one's lifestyle

Everything one does has an influnece on ones lifestyle. Sexuality still =/= lifestyle.



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Mnementh on 09 August 2012

richardhutnik said:

I am going to jump on this from a said Biblical view.  If he found out his son ended up regularly visiting prostitutes and not getting married, but slept around with women in a bunch of one night stands (say he also got them pregnant), do you seriously thinking that his father would of disowned him?  If you do, then I will back off here.  But, I would say it wouldn't happen.  Add adultery to the fornication charge I am saying here also.  The reality is that his father has a selective respect for the Bible, that is far more emotionally driven.  There are a bunch of other said sins in the Bible that his father would still accept his son over.  Heck, if he found out his son was a hitman, I am fairly sure his father wouldn't disown them.

What pretty much sickens me here is a selective application of things that lead to this state.

I agreee. For many people sadly is being gay a greater sin than other stuff. If his son would be an investment banker and was making his part in the financial crisis, would the father have disowned his son? Although this is a case of the sin of greed? Homosexuality that harms no one is for many people (especially religious one, but not restricted to them) worse than other things that do people harm.  I think that is wrong.



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