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Forums - General Discussion - So you think the worst thing a woman can say is no......think again.

madskillz on 12 December 2008
Flow said:
madskillz said:
Flow said:
madskillz said:
Flow said:
Oh, you shy people got a serious problem...

You know you have to "lose the shyness and go and talk to a girl".

I'll use a nice metaphor here, it's like you live in the jungle and there's a freaking big and evil tiger surrounding you and threatening to kill you in you little cave at any moment.

But you fear this tiger, yes! And by fearing the tiger i mean being shy to talk to a woman, fearing rejection.

But you know you've got to lose this fear... and what do you do?

This is the point where most of you think you've got to grab a random boulder and jump in this tiger like you have a S on your chest just because you've lost your fear. And damn, that's wrong. You may probably kill the tiger, but you will be hanging for your life. And probably the tiger will eat you alive.

What you gotta do is craft your weapons, study the tiger, train your fighting skills, and then face the tiger when you know what you are doing.

So, be aware that the direct approach (talking about women now, but that also apply on tigers and most big animals) will probably let you down. You need to make the female like you first, get friendly and intimate with her, tease her, and when you know you're there, go for that mouth, you'll know when she wants it.

THIS is what you need to stop fearing to do. Now drop that damn boulder

Dude, wouldn't that approach like kill your prey? I would rather lay down and get busy than killing stuff. That's just bloody and nasty. Gimme good lovin', FTW.

 

 

Do you know why i compared the woman to a tiger? It's not because the woman is actually a threat.

It's because platonically loving a woman kills you inside. Doing nothing about this love kills you inside, you need to know if you have a chance with her and go for it or that it's going nowhere and move on and forget her, or else the pain can be unbearable.

 

Love is irrational, yes. But you need to be rational when going to talk to the girl, try to get her to like you instead of "hey you're hot let's get busy?" or something, like the OP did.

And this is what i was trying to explain with a nice, simple and bloody metaphor to help the OP stop suffering. Of course, maybe it's not love that he is feeling.

ROTFLMBO - didn't you have a prob with a girl in a thread about love - and within a week or two, you have mad advice? Look, all I can do is tell about my success and failures - and what works for most guys I know. I don't know you - and from the post about you stalking your prey and everything sounds like you drew bow in a deer hunt. It's not a game, kid - it's life. You can look at a women as prey (ok, women in a pack count) and maybe it works for you - but cats I've seen try that end up complaining they don't get out much. Just sayin'.

Oh yeah - I remember our views of love are different - and pretty much completely opposite. Infatuation will leave you dazed, confused and believing you got hit by an 18-wheeler. Love - for most of my running buddies - is thinking things out and leaving irrational behaviour in the dust.

I was being sarcastic as far as that - but back in the day when I was a heathen, I got some action by acting just like that.

You can pretty much look at a babe and talk to her for a minute or two and see where her head's at. I haven't been shot down in nearly 10 years.

 

Yes, that was me. Thing is i knew what my problem was and that i had a problem, i just was too weak or too in love to deal with it. Now here i am trying to help this fella stay away from where i was. Just because i played with a tiger metaphor doesn't mean i see women as prey, and i don't see it as a game, but in that post i just said what everybody else said, but i guess it's criminal to use metaphors now. Maybe i went too far with the "love is suffering" thing, but like you said, "all I can do is tell about my success and failures - and what works for most guys I know.", and my failure was not being strong enough to do what works. And as i said, the advice i gave him is just what everybody else posted, just behind a tiger metaphor i did joking, that made me look like a women-stalker now, i guess >.>

I hear you. I did read your post and think 'I hope this cat isn't talking about stalking' because it's what it sounded like. It's a huge difference between admiring and obsessing, as you stated in the end of your post.

In the end, some situations are gravy, some are hard and require work. I do think too often dudes will settle for a woman who is ok, but not the one they really wanted. It's sad because years into the marriage, the man realizes his mistake and bolts. True, I've had many mistakes, but I gathered wisdom from each experience. I learned never, ever settle for someone. I have to have the best - and if having the best woman for you requires work, you gotta put your time in. I had to work for my wife - a while - but we are knocking on 7 years. And it was worth the work I put into winning her - even though I knew she was the one when she didn't believe it.

 



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Flow on 14 December 2008

Sorry, lol




Flow -"The important is to pwn other ppl"

ctk495 on 14 December 2008

Guys remenber the girl I like?Well she broke up with her bf and she didn't go to that dance :)



Comrade Tovya on 14 December 2008
madskillz said:
Comrade Tovya said:
madskillz said:
Comrade Tovya said:
I don't know about the compliment thing now, because he already kind of showed his cards.

I'd change my name, quit my job, and leave the country.. ;)

No seriously though, the direct approach rarely works unless she's been giving you the signs... playing with her hair when you look at her, you catch her taking multiple glances at you (unless there is a big booger hanging out your nose, and that could be why she's staring, so check that first).

I think the smile she gives you is the big clue (if she gives you one of course).

Not really - you can rebound from that faux pas by just being yourself. She just had her defenses up - but give her some time and if you just happen to run into her in certain places.

And lol on the booger. Comeon, man ...

For me, if a woman lights up around me - grins at most things I says - tells me she wants to hug me all the time or be around me all the time, I know she's feelin' me.

Another thing that attracts women? C-O-M-M-I-T-M-E-N-T. Yeah, ladies see a dude with a wedding band, they are like 'Dude is willing to settle down.' They will play extra hard because they  *think* you won't try anything. If you are caught slippin', it is easy to fall. Fortunately, I have never gotten to that point - but doggone.

Any update, hitman? Whassup, playboy?

 

Yeah, we were saying the same thing really... I was just just saying, the direct approach didn't work, and some other people were telling him to go do it again.  If the poor guy tried that again, he'd go from fool to a guy who's seemingly desperate.

He needs to back pff.  If she starts taking notice of him, stares, etc, then he might still have a chance.  Otherwise, she just isn't interested.  He doesn't need to show her the "I like you" signs, as she well knows that he wants to go out with her.  It's no secret.

As for the wedding band thing, yeah that is true.  My wife told me that women also like to have things that belong to someone else... you know, some people just gotta have what's already taken. 

She also said that women are always checking out another guy's girl.  If an ugly dude is with a gorgeous girl, they want him because the guy must be rich or got something special going on below the waste.  If the dude is the gorgeous one with the ugly chick, they say, "damn, I'm hotter than her, I can have him.  She don't deserve a guy that good looking".

So my wife says.  But sounds about right to me.

 

True dis, bro ... but I am living proof that women who aren't remotely interested can turn to you - but it takes time. It's the law of attraction - the more you are around a person, the more you are attracted to them. For her, all it may take is like those crazy Liberty Mutual commercials. She could be at her desk and he's walking by and helps someone - not even trying to flex his game - and she's like 'That's really nice' and gives him another chance - even initiates. It happens - like a light just goes off.

Yeah, the wedding band thing is sooooo true. If you look anything like your sig, I can bet you have women checking you out and seeing the band on your finger and feenin'. I don't wear my band as much - especially when I work with electronics - but in Texas, I don't flirt as hard as I did in New Mexico. Dang, mix brown skin and charisma and I could have an army of hawties - soldiers - down to help a brotha out.

I have seen your other posts - seems like we share a lot in common as far as game. You in Texas, right? I'm in H-town.

 

 

Yeah, I'm actually in Fort Worth.  I go to Houston pretty often though.. there's a lot more to do down there than up here.  Fort Worth is pretty dull really.

As for games, yeah I like a whole lot of different genres.  I spend a lot of time playing Madden & NCAA Football, because I am a football fanatic, but I also like everything from the Mario-type games to FPS' to just about whatever.



MarioKart:

Wii Code:

2278-0348-4368

1697-4391-7093-9431
XBOX LIVE: Comrade Tovya 2
PSN ID:

Comrade_Tovya
d21lewis on 14 December 2008

Imagine you're going about your everyday life. You're thinking about cooking dinner, and feeding your dog. All of a sudden, a random person jumps out of the bushes, tells you that, even though they never spoke to you before, they are in love with you, and that they are ready to make it work. Personally, I would spray you with mace, and run away while yelling "RAPE!

In the future, don't do that. It doesn't work.

What you have to do is get creative. Introduce yourself to her without trying to appear desperate. Example: I was in the mall when I saw a cute girl sitting on the floor folding clothes to put on a shelf. I sat down without saying a word, and started folding clothes too. When she looked at me, I said "What?" and continued folding clothes. Got her phone number, too.

Know your target. Find out what you have in common, and exploit the hell out of it! I can't guarantee a love connection, but I can damn sure promise you a first date. BE CREATIVE. You need to stand out from everybody else. Good looks and a nice pair of jeans don't cut it anymore.



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tarheel91 on 14 December 2008
madskillz said:
Dang folks. Unless you are a star of some type, and unless the girl is just flirty as the devil, the direct approach - it NO WORK. Unless you are flowing with uber confidence and mad game, you have to understand your limits and work around them.

Personally, you should have waited and called her over and said 'What's the deal. All I wanted to know is - can we get busy or just be friends?'

I'd PM D21Lewis for player advice.

 

Yeah, I was about to say, I know very few girls who'd just say yes right away, and they aren't exactly the type of girl I'd want to date.  You have to actually get to know them and get on more familiar terms.   D21's got it down.  A common interest is essential, even if you're not really into it that much.  Find more comfortable ways for them to communicate with you.  AIM or FB or even texting can be much easier to do because they won't give it much thought.  Then, you can progress until, suddenly, you're talking to them every day and that date sounds much more reasonable.



coolestguyever on 14 December 2008

I actually can relate to this.

Back a couple years ago before I was the coolestguyever, I was just an average guy like you. And i asked a girl out and got turned down. I forgot about her and ended up asking a different girl out and she said yes.


But now that I'm so fricking cool its not been a problem since.



Nickelbackro on 14 December 2008

I've tried an aggressive approach before and just plain asked a girl out just like that (mostly cuz i used to be too shy to have a long conversation), never worked for me, just try to be friends at first and see where thing go.



Kickin' Those Games Old School.       -       201 Beaten Games And Counting

madskillz on 14 December 2008
d21lewis said:
Imagine you're going about your everyday life. You're thinking about cooking dinner, and feeding your dog. All of a sudden, a random person jumps out of the bushes, tells you that, even though they never spoke to you before, they are in love with you, and that they are ready to make it work. Personally, I would spray you with mace, and run away while yelling "RAPE!

In the future, don't do that. It doesn't work.

What you have to do is get creative. Introduce yourself to her without trying to appear desperate. Example: I was in the mall when I saw a cute girl sitting on the floor folding clothes to put on a shelf. I sat down without saying a word, and started folding clothes too. When she looked at me, I said "What?" and continued folding clothes. Got her phone number, too.

Know your target. Find out what you have in common, and exploit the hell out of it! I can't guarantee a love connection, but I can damn sure promise you a first date. BE CREATIVE. You need to stand out from everybody else. Good looks and a nice pair of jeans don't cut it anymore.

The Mickey Fickey Man.

I never tried that one but I can see some folks on here trying it and messing up mall store displays.

LOL.

 



madskillz on 14 December 2008
ctk495 said:
Guys remenber the girl I like?Well she broke up with her bf and she didn't go to that dance :)

You wouldn't *happen* to own a yellow Camaro with black racing stripes that can drive itself, would you? And does the girl resemble Megan Fox? And it your last name Witwicky? Just curious