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Forums - General - What is your sexual orientation?

curl-6 said:
vivster said:

Labels are generally bad. Cis and trans+ being the worst.

I couldn't give a shit how good applying labels to oneself makes people feel, it is bad and will inevitably lead to toxicity. A person's Identity should never EVER EVER be based on belonging to a certain group. Group thinking will always lead to antipathy towards outsiders, especially when a person considers belonging to a group as part of their identity.

Personality is personal and has nothing to do with anyone else. Personalities are too complex for any label anyway. Even my hardcore introversion doesn't fit at all times, so I try to not call myself an introvert, but rather just say that I am mostly introverted. Seems like not a huge difference, but it really is, because I do not count myself as part of a group called "introverts".

Same with my sexuality. Depending on wildly different definitions I might be called straight, bi or even gay by different people. So I rather describe what body parts and traits I'm attracted to.

There is simply no need to label anything about my personality or identity, especially not my gender or sexuality.

Anyone who labels their identity is part of one of the biggest social problems we as humans face.

While I cannot comment on sexuality labels, I must respectfully disagree that labels in general are bad. They can be, but they can also be very helpful.

When you're very different from most other people, belonging to a community you have a lot in common can bring with it immense benefits, I've seen this firsthand in my job as well as experiencing it myself. Similarly, diagnosis and the "label" that comes with it is often a revelatory and very positive moment for many neurodiverse people.

I don't hate or feel antipathy towards those who are different from myself. These differences already exist, independent of labels, putting a name to it simply makes it easier to navigate.

Without a label to help others understand the needs of myself and those like me, I and countless others would not have received the support that we require to live a normal-ish life.

I realize this is veering quite off topic from the issue of sexuality, sorry about that, all I'm saying is that while an "us vs them" mentality can definitely arise from labels, they can also do a lot of good. At the end of the day, while the name itself has something of a negative connotation, it's ultimately just a way to make things easier to understand.

The positive things you said about labels are exactly the problem.

Yep, it makes people feel good to have some sense of belonging. Which will then screw up everything because it becomes like a drug, people crave acknowledgement from within their group and then from outsiders until it spirals out of control and we have a mess like the current trans community. I don't think the small benefits labels bring are worth the detrimental effects. You will have a similar effect if you go about it differently to be recognized.

The second part is labels make things simple. That will also have disastrous effects in both directions. First it boils down a complex thing into something binary, robbing it of many important distinctions within that group. It'll lead to prejudice and lack of important information, which will draw animosity towards the group and at the same time will limit the support it can get because the support will be on the same basic level as it is understood under the label.

Labels feel good and make things simple. You know what else does? Heroine.

Basically all the worst things that happened in human history happened because of group thinking and it's today as bad as ever.



If you demand respect or gratitude for your volunteer work, you're doing volunteering wrong.

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vivster said:
curl-6 said:

While I cannot comment on sexuality labels, I must respectfully disagree that labels in general are bad. They can be, but they can also be very helpful.

When you're very different from most other people, belonging to a community you have a lot in common can bring with it immense benefits, I've seen this firsthand in my job as well as experiencing it myself. Similarly, diagnosis and the "label" that comes with it is often a revelatory and very positive moment for many neurodiverse people.

I don't hate or feel antipathy towards those who are different from myself. These differences already exist, independent of labels, putting a name to it simply makes it easier to navigate.

Without a label to help others understand the needs of myself and those like me, I and countless others would not have received the support that we require to live a normal-ish life.

I realize this is veering quite off topic from the issue of sexuality, sorry about that, all I'm saying is that while an "us vs them" mentality can definitely arise from labels, they can also do a lot of good. At the end of the day, while the name itself has something of a negative connotation, it's ultimately just a way to make things easier to understand.

The positive things you said about labels are exactly the problem.

Yep, it makes people feel good to have some sense of belonging. Which will then screw up everything because it becomes like a drug, people crave acknowledgement from within their group and then from outsiders until it spirals out of control and we have a mess like the current trans community. I don't think the small benefits labels bring are worth the detrimental effects. You will have a similar effect if you go about it differently to be recognized.

The second part is labels make things simple. That will also have disastrous effects in both directions. First it boils down a complex thing into something binary, robbing it of many important distinctions within that group. It'll lead to prejudice and lack of important information, which will draw animosity towards the group and at the same time will limit the support it can get because the support will be on the same basic level as it is understood under the label.

Labels feel good and make things simple. You know what else does? Heroine.

Basically all the worst things that happened in human history happened because of group thinking and it's today as bad as ever.

A degree of simplification is necessary, essential even, otherwise nothing practical can ever be achieved in terms of providing support requirements.

The benefits it brings are certainly not small. Without a label I would probably not have been able to ever live independently or find proper employment. I owe both my livelihood and my quality of life to the fact that we can categorize people's neurology and use that as a basis to give them the help they need. 

Differences between people exist. People form groups with those they have things in common with. That's just human nature, and it's never going to change regardless of whether we use "labels" to describe said groups.

I expect though this is just one of those things where we will have to agree to disagree.

Last edited by curl-6 - on 23 October 2020

These kind of topics seem out of place in a video game forum, just like politics.

It is not a topic that makes me want to log in at VGC.



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You say tomato, I say tomato 

"¡Viva la Ñ!"

TomaTito said:

These kind of topics seem out of place in a video game forum, just like politics.

It is not a topic that makes me want to log in at VGC.

Couldn't you just filter general and politics threads from your Hot Topics then? I don't see the harm, it's not stopping people from making gaming threads.



TomaTito said:

These kind of topics seem out of place in a video game forum, just like politics.

It is not a topic that makes me want to log in at VGC.

Shhh, you're gonna upset everyone with your opinion! 



If you require alcohol to have fun, then you have a problem

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Raven said:
TomaTito said:

These kind of topics seem out of place in a video game forum, just like politics.

It is not a topic that makes me want to log in at VGC.

Couldn't you just filter general and politics threads from your Hot Topics then? I don't see the harm, it's not stopping people from making gaming threads.

Already have a filter in my Hot Topics, just saw it come up on the main site while I was logged off.

I was debating whether or not to post this message, as I know some might take it personally.
Either way, normally ignore non-video game topic here at VGC and will continue to do so.



@Twitter | Switch | Steam

You say tomato, I say tomato 

"¡Viva la Ñ!"

TomaTito said:
Raven said:

Couldn't you just filter general and politics threads from your Hot Topics then? I don't see the harm, it's not stopping people from making gaming threads.

Already have a filter in my Hot Topics, just saw it come up on the main site while I was logged off.

I was debating whether or not to post this message, as I know some might take it personally.
Either way, normally ignore non-video game topic here at VGC and will continue to do so.

I wouldn't worry about people taking it personally, was just mentioning the functionality to use just in case you didn't know about it is all.



I’m a gay male, yaaas queen

Oh, and left-handed ;)



axumblade said:
Ka-pi96 said:

Isn't it normal for guys to just randomly get hard sometimes?

After puberty?....

I feel like it is pretty normal, especially morning wood.



DPsx7 said:
Ka-pi96 said:

Maybe you're asexual? I mean, most people don't need to date both before they know which they like. They typically want to date the sex they like from the start. What kind of porn do you watch? That'll tell you. And if you don't, then yeah, perhaps asexual with no real interest in either?

I've heard that somewhere before. Probably that. Long time ago as a school fundraiser there was some kind of dating match survey thing and I didn't get above 50%. Go me?

From what you've said, you sound like you're an aromantic asexual. If you're not familiar with the term, it would mean you're not interested in dating anyone period. This is opposed to a romantic asexual who does want to date people but has no sexual desire.

This clip from the Netflix series Sex Education seems to sum it up pretty well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOxOiC1fT_8

Last edited by SecondWar - on 23 October 2020