Forums - General Discussion - A Depression Thread

PAOerfulone said:
TorterraBoy said:
Think it like this;
1) You’re depressed and you want to kill yourself, having suicidal thoughts,
2) Will you actually go to that limit at attempting to kill yourself? No, your body and your instinct will always prevent you from actually killing yourself.
3) So stop thinking about it. It worked for me.

It's not as simple as "stop thinking about it." It's not some switch you can just flick on and off like the light in your bedroom.  People are depressed for a wide variety of reasons and in order for them to overcome their depression, they need to have the strength and support to address and overcome what is causing them depression in the first place. 
For example, say a woman is in depression because she suffers from domestic violence; Do you really think "stop thinking about it" is going to work for her? Probably not. She would have to go through a very long and difficult process of admitting she is being abused, find the strength within herself to seek support and leave her abusive partner, use all the help and resources at her disposal, (family, friends, community, supportive programs, etc.) to help her become self supportive, move on from her abusive relationship, and eventually, and hopefully, overcome her depression. 
That's just one example out of thousands, and every single one is different from the other. 

I should've made it more clear in my post, but I was specifying in suicidal depression/thoughts; the example you gave with the woman kind of relates to a social depression where you can't stop thinking about abuse, even in a conversation with a random person. 



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TorterraBoy said:
PAOerfulone said:

It's not as simple as "stop thinking about it." It's not some switch you can just flick on and off like the light in your bedroom.  People are depressed for a wide variety of reasons and in order for them to overcome their depression, they need to have the strength and support to address and overcome what is causing them depression in the first place. 
For example, say a woman is in depression because she suffers from domestic violence; Do you really think "stop thinking about it" is going to work for her? Probably not. She would have to go through a very long and difficult process of admitting she is being abused, find the strength within herself to seek support and leave her abusive partner, use all the help and resources at her disposal, (family, friends, community, supportive programs, etc.) to help her become self supportive, move on from her abusive relationship, and eventually, and hopefully, overcome her depression. 
That's just one example out of thousands, and every single one is different from the other. 

I should've made it more clear in my post, but I was specifying in suicidal depression/thoughts; the example you gave with the woman kind of relates to a social depression where you can't stop thinking about abuse, even in a conversation with a random person. 

People with suicidal depression/thoughts need all the help we can give them. The more people reach out to those with severe depression, the better off we'll all be.



These past few weeks are widely considered to be the gloomiest of the calendar year ("Blue Monday" on the 14th, lack on sunlight, isolation etc). Here in Canada, today (January 31st) is known as Let's Talk Day - where various undertakings on social media help raise both money (mainly from donations from Bell Corporation) and awareness for Mental Health nationwide. It's actually what inspired me to check up on this site - because believe it or not it is where I spent most of my depressed days as a young adult - and lo and behold on my return I discover there is a thread up!

This is a very important thread and I think it was a great idea to put it up. Kudos to everyone who has posted in it so far.

If you (like me) are an introverted man living in a society that celebrates individual progress and achievement, you get caught in a triple bind:

1. As men we are taught to suppress our emotions to maintain the "masculine" form

2. As introverts we may feel uneasy going to other people with personal and vulnerable information

3. As individuals in an individualized society we may feel alone, and that we have an obligation to recover by ourselves.

Without outside help it is very easy to continue spooling in these conditions until you feel you are drowning. And the further down you get, the harder it seems it will be to reach out. It is tragic that those who need emotional support the most are likely the same people who are the most apathetic or unwilling to branch out and receive it.

That is why I believe you are the real heroes. You who come forward and puts a voice to a largely silent movement. And it is you who then provides a platform for others like me to come forward and share my story. Thank you for that.

I want to let you know that there is help out there. It is estimated that 1/4 people in the world will experience mental illness of some sort during their lifetime. There are so many people out there who hold a connection with you; who would share words with you if given the chance; friends and family members included. On top of that there are counselors whose job is to listen and help you along.

When you share your words - no matter how many - you are taking a massive step in the right direction. Remember that.

 



#1 Amb-ass-ador

ReimTime said:

These past few weeks are widely considered to be the gloomiest of the calendar year ("Blue Monday" on the 14th, lack on sunlight, isolation etc). Here in Canada, today (January 31st) is known as Let's Talk Day - where various undertakings on social media help raise both money (mainly from donations from Bell Corporation) and awareness for Mental Health nationwide. It's actually what inspired me to check up on this site - because believe it or not it is where I spent most of my depressed days as a young adult - and lo and behold on my return I discover there is a thread up!

This is a very important thread and I think it was a great idea to put it up. Kudos to everyone who has posted in it so far.

If you (like me) are an introverted man living in a society that celebrates individual progress and achievement, you get caught in a triple bind:

1. As men we are taught to suppress our emotions to maintain the "masculine" form

2. As introverts we may feel uneasy going to other people with personal and vulnerable information

3. As individuals in an individualized society we may feel alone, and that we have an obligation to recover by ourselves.

Without outside help it is very easy to continue spooling in these conditions until you feel you are drowning. And the further down you get, the harder it seems it will be to reach out. It is tragic that those who need emotional support the most are likely the same people who are the most apathetic or unwilling to branch out and receive it.

That is why I believe you are the real heroes. You who come forward and puts a voice to a largely silent movement. And it is you who then provides a platform for others like me to come forward and share my story. Thank you for that.

I want to let you know that there is help out there. It is estimated that 1/4 people in the world will experience mental illness of some sort during their lifetime. There are so many people out there who hold a connection with you; who would share words with you if given the chance; friends and family members included. On top of that there are counselors whose job is to listen and help you along.

When you share your words - no matter how many - you are taking a massive step in the right direction. Remember that.

 

We all should remember that.



 
KungKras said:
Had it since I was a kid.

Growing up with a schizophrenic mother who refuses to take her meds does that to you.

How are you doing now? Are you getting better, worse or being the same?

I must confess that I sometimes feel very guilty of being depressed as I had happy childhood and overall everything is and has been quite well for me.

Stay strong and keep going forward, and don´t think too much about the past.

Yeah I am getting better. Exercise and succeeding at some of my academic life goals are helping.

Now all that's left is getting a girlfriend (that I can be proud of) and I'll have turned my life into a win.



I LOVE ICELAND!

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what a shit night, when out, not even one phone number, feeling drunk and depressed.



I know this is going to sound stupid, but the fact that I can't even fully indulge in escapism because a game requires you to have friends to play when ... guess what ... I have no friends, really makes me sad. So many of the best games this gen are multiplayer games that are 100x better with voice chat and a group of pals, and we're even seeing a slow resurgence of co-op games. I can still play a lot of these games by myself and have fun, but some of them I can't and those I can just constantly remind me in the back of my mind of my loser status.

It's not that this is a top priority for me, it really isn't, but it does suck that even in the world of video games you can be reminded who you really are.



AngryLittleAlchemist said:
I know this is going to sound stupid, but the fact that I can't even fully indulge in escapism because a game requires you to have friends to play when ... guess what ... I have no friends, really makes me sad. So many of the best games this gen are multiplayer games that are 100x better with voice chat and a group of pals, and we're even seeing a slow resurgence of co-op games. I can still play a lot of these games by myself and have fun, but some of them I can't and those I can just constantly remind me in the back of my mind of my loser status.

It's not that this is a top priority for me, it really isn't, but it does suck that even in the world of video games you can be reminded who you really are.

Yeah, that is a bit hard to deal with.



KungKras said:

Yeah I am getting better. Exercise and succeeding at some of my academic life goals are helping.

Now all that's left is getting a girlfriend (that I can be proud of) and I'll have turned my life into a win.

AngryLittleAlchemist said:
I know this is going to sound stupid, but the fact that I can't even fully indulge in escapism because a game requires you to have friends to play when ... guess what ... I have no friends, really makes me sad. So many of the best games this gen are multiplayer games that are 100x better with voice chat and a group of pals, and we're even seeing a slow resurgence of co-op games. I can still play a lot of these games by myself and have fun, but some of them I can't and those I can just constantly remind me in the back of my mind of my loser status.

It's not that this is a top priority for me, it really isn't, but it does suck that even in the world of video games you can be reminded who you really are.

KungKras nice to hear that you are doing better now :D

 

These two post reminded me of a problem that especially men seem to have. The need to achieve things professionally and provide.

It also reminded just in general need to achieve and succeed in life. People are told that they need to: study, have a succesfull career, have friends, have a partner, have kids, have money, be fit, eat healthy food...etc..etc....   in order to be happy.

As many people don´t have all that, some of them worry too much about those things that they don´t have and are fixated on being succesfull instead of just being happy. A person doesn´t have to have it all to be important, to be happy or to feel good about itself. Also its not just completely happy or completely unhappy, but actually everything between those two.

Try to be good, okay, great or something, but don´t try to be perfect or feel bad for not being perfect. Forgive yourself and other when needed and remember imperfection is the only form of perfection.



PSintend0 said: 

These two post reminded me of a problem that especially men seem to have. The need to achieve things professionally and provide.

It also reminded just in general need to achieve and succeed in life. People are told that they need to: study, have a succesfull career, have friends, have a partner, have kids, have money, be fit, eat healthy food...etc..etc....   in order to be happy.

As many people don´t have all that, some of them worry too much about those things that they don´t have and are fixated on being succesfull instead of just being happy. A person doesn´t have to have it all to be important, to be happy or to feel good about itself. Also its not just completely happy or completely unhappy, but actually everything between those two.

Try to be good, okay, great or something, but don´t try to be perfect or feel bad for not being perfect. Forgive yourself and other when needed and remember imperfection is the only form of perfection.

thanks : )