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Forums - Gaming Discussion - I need your advice: I love a girl but she doesn't play video games

It's pretty rare for any relationship to have 100% or even 90% overlap of interests. You make compromises if the core of the relationship is strong and you love one another. I've never met a couple that doesn't have some hobby or activity like you've described. In fact, it can be healthy at times to have some time apart or do things with friends to better appreciate the time you spend together. You have to decide how important you interest or hobby is and what value place on your significant other sharing it.



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Man, ohh man. Where to begin?

I really hope many of the people in this thread are young, because there's a lot of naivety going on. Some people clearly know what's what but others? Man... I hope you don't wonder why you're alone. Take this from someone that is married with children.

Relationships with a significant other is not like relationships with family, the person you're choosing to date actually has the option not to date you, which means you have to put effort into making them happy. Every. Single. Day. My wife and I have been married for many years, and this still is true, and will always be true. Because my wife and I are two completely different people, and always will be. To this day, she CHOOSES to be with me, and I CHOOSE to be with her. So what does this mean? Acceptance and compromise.

Do you realize how many times I've come home from a hard day of work and had to go out shopping for some bullshit with my wife because that's what she wants to do? Do you realize how many times she's sat her ass in an arena, bored out of her trees, watching me be terrible at sports because she knows it makes me happy to have her there, supporting me? Do you realize how many time's I've had to eat food I actually can't stand because her mother cooked it, and it's polite? I've lost count. Relationships is about doing shit you don't really want to do just because the person you love wants to, and you want that to be reciprocated in other ways.

My wife doesn't really play video games. She played bejeweled and Pokemon Go on her phone, but couldn't care less about console games, really. I did somehow convince her to buy a wii (I think she was trying to impress me), which she used to play Zumba and Just Dance and got bored of quickly. She expressed interest in Zelda so I bought her both Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword. I think she played the Twilight Princess for 15 minutes until she got stuck and gave up. Skyward Sword went unopened for months until I played it. That's probably about the time I clued in and realized that all of my attempts at introducing her to my hobby (and career at the time) weren't going to make my wife a "gamer", and you know what? That's totally, totally fine. It's who she is.

Occasionally she'll sit down and play games like "Overcooked" with me if I ask her to, and even then it's only for a half hour before the stress the game induces in her is too much for her to bear. She really only does it to humor me, and to have a bit of a laugh along the way, but she won't care to pick up that controller herself. She just really isn't a gamer at heart, but she loves me, so she compromises, and that's wonderful.


As someone smarter than me once said, "to settle down is to settle for". If you want to hold out for that unicorn, be prepared to spend the rest of your life alone. I don't know a single couple in a serious relationship that couldn't list a dozen things the other does/doesn't do that irritates them, my wife and I are no different, and your significant other and you won't be any different either.

P.S. OP, you shouldn't be in that relationship if you'll willing to drop her like a ton of bricks if that "unicorn" comes along. Your current girl deserves better than that. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel knowing you'd be dropped in a heartbeat if she found some guy that super into something you couldn't care less about?



My wife hates videogames. But she likes zumba. What do I do? I buy Kinect with the Zumba game and Just Dance. She has been upgrading in (excesively) small increments. She is now playing Rayman!



you have to ask yourself, do you want videos games to give you a hard on or a chick to give you one?

women are not there to be your bro, they are there to give you a child and you are there to give them financial support when she brings a child to the world.

Anything more then that is a pipe dream as our brains are wired differently and it is almost impossible to like the same things.



 

 

Cobretti2 said:
you have to ask yourself, do you want videos games to give you a hard on or a chick to give you one?

women are not there to be your bro, they are there to give you a child and you are there to give them financial support when she brings a child to the world.

Anything more then that is a pipe dream as our brains are wired differently and it is almost impossible to like the same things.

I think that you're drastically overestimating the differences between males and females. If all a woman is to you is a breeding machine, that's a very objectifying way of viewing them.



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You don't have to share all the same interests, you only have to respect the interests of the other one. As long as she doesn't tell you that you aren't "allowed" to play anymore and stuff like that, it should be all fine.

My girlfriend doesn't play any games and we still never have any problems with each other. She does let me play my games and I let her waste time with reading some cheap written books.

If you have other things you enjoy together it shouldn't be a big deal to have a few things which only one is interested in.



Cobretti2 said:
you have to ask yourself, do you want videos games to give you a hard on or a chick to give you one?

women are not there to be your bro, they are there to give you a child and you are there to give them financial support when she brings a child to the world.

Anything more then that is a pipe dream as our brains are wired differently and it is almost impossible to like the same things.

Ehh, I don't see my girlfriend just as medium to enlarge my family tree and to use my money to raise that child. And I'm sure most in the civilised world don't think like that anymore thankfully. 



Actually, I think it's a bad idea to find a girl who likes to play video games because she'll want you to play spyro the dragon or something together......

As long as she has hobbies of her own that she can do and she understands that you need enough space to enjoy your hobbies, everything is golden on "hobbies". Personally, I like women that read novels. haha.



snyps said:


  I'm worried though that I would be more in love with someone that did like playing my favorite games.

How old are you? Do you want to live together with this woman?



My wife isn't into video games, but does support my passion for my hobby. We have been together 21 years so its not an issue in my opinion. You don't have to share a mutual respect on everything to have a long happy relationship.