It's clear you guys wouldn't be good parents. I feel adoption is the right choice, but that's the wonderful thing about being pro-choice; I believe you should make your own life decisions.
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VGPolyglot said:
As it is now it's just an extension of the woman. It cannot survive without the woman, so killing it is about the same as burning your fingers and killing a few cells. |
The woman's body would disagree with you, as demonstrated when the complex system shielding the fetus fails and the mother's immune system promptly kills it. From the very start it has a unique set of chromosomes in the process of fully expressing themselves. Everything we are as a physical life form stems from the expression of our unique genetic code on a foundational level. That understanding of human life grounded in our genetic code pushes the definition of life very far back into the pregnancy. And that's all aside from any philosophical or religious objections one could raise.
Well, you know what they say, it's cheaper to keep her than to pay child support.
TBH it might be a good idea to ask for a thread lock OP - this is going to spiral.
Counselors won't push you in a certain direction and won't guilt-trip you. This site will, and already has.
That being said, props to the 3-4 people ITT who actually said something helpful without projecting onto OP.
Once again, I know you both will make the right choice, because in the end it is the choice that will be right for you both. Take your time, communicate, and good luck! 
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Versus_Evil said:
Why? Op willingly came inside her and now she's pregnant he's making it all about him and how she should have an abortion... What type of replies do you expect he would get when he comes here, to a public forum to almost brag about it. If op gave a shit about his mess he wouldn't be telling us about it. Op won't get any sympathy from me, he should man up and live with HIS mistakes. |
Bragging?
I came here to get the opinions of people who are seperated from my life therefore aren't influenced on a subjective level. As I respect the members of this site as mostly intelligent people.
But I appreciate your opinion.
There's only 2 races: White and 'Political Agenda'
2 Genders: Male and 'Political Agenda'
2 Hairstyles for female characters: Long and 'Political Agenda'
2 Sexualities: Straight and 'Political Agenda'
SuperNova said:
If you two have any aspirations of keeping the child she should get medical advice on that immediately. Anti-depressants can hurt the unborn child and lead to developmental problems. Going off or changing the Anti-depressants can have really bad result for herself, not to mention the general havoc a pregnancy puts on a female body, hormones and all. There is Anti-depressants that are considered safe for pregnancys but she should check with a doctor.
On the overall situation, I have to say it doesn't sound very good. She has mental problems, wich is never a good thing for a child to grow up around and you don't seem too keen on having a child yet, even speaking of resentment for your missed opportunities. My two cents on the matter is: If you can't love and accept this child and be there for it without resenting it ot it's mother, then you should not have it.Making a child feel unwanted and creating conflict between the two people that would be most important to it, you and it's mother is one of the worst things you can do to it. (Barring sexual, physical and emotional abuse etc. of course.) I'm sure for most of your plans and wishes there would be a solution. There is lots of people who put themselves through college/university despite having children, it's not impossible. It might have to be locally, or she might have to be willing to go with you, but there's usually a way to work things out if you want to. And yes, both of you are young but I have a friend who is a 22 year old with two beautiful girls that are two and four years old and she is a wonderful mother despite being young, so it depends on the person. If you are not ready to do any of this you should consider abortion or adoption. |
I didn't know AD's could have the negartive effects on the fetus that you're speaking of, but I'm not surprised. Get this checked out asap.
- "If you have the heart of a true winner, you can always get more pissed off than some other asshole."
My advice would be to calm down and meditate on the issue. Both of you should probably consult together with experts on this issue in order to find the best course of action. Gaining an understanding of the situation may help your confusion. This is probably a frightening time of your life so I wouldn't be afraid to ask for help.
| ReimTime said: TBH it might be a good idea to ask for a thread lock OP - this is going to spiral. Counselors won't push you in a certain direction and won't guilt-trip you. This site will, and already has. That being said, props to the 3-4 people ITT who actually said something helpful without projecting onto OP. Once again, I know you both will make the right choice, because in the end it is the choice that will be right for you both. Take your time, communicate, and good luck! |
To be fair those 3-4 people (and your personal message) made it worth it. I don't mind the thread being locked but I can take whatever these guys throw as I respect the members of this site which is why I came here in the first place.
Just a pretty jarring situation, not been in it before and the uncertainty is what has got me most. I'd like it to stay open to update it further with anything but if mods feel it needs to be locked I understand.
There's only 2 races: White and 'Political Agenda'
2 Genders: Male and 'Political Agenda'
2 Hairstyles for female characters: Long and 'Political Agenda'
2 Sexualities: Straight and 'Political Agenda'
Versus_Evil said:
Sorry bro I didn't mean to go off on one, ah it just really really annoys me. I've seen this situation before. Just make sure that's it's 100000% her decision to have the abortion if she has it. Because if she feels like your pressured her at all then that friendship is over. If she decides to keep it then, you need to talk about how it will work. Don't abandoned her. |
Read the OP man:
"I don't want to pressure her into any decision I've only just made my case, she says she wouldn't blame me for leaving but there's NO WAY that after not growing up without a father I would have my child do the same, if she keeps it I will be there 24/7. "
There's only 2 races: White and 'Political Agenda'
2 Genders: Male and 'Political Agenda'
2 Hairstyles for female characters: Long and 'Political Agenda'
2 Sexualities: Straight and 'Political Agenda'
Mr.Playstation said:
Different adoption agencies exist OP. Do more research before you simply decide to "...Prevent life developing." as you put it.
You said it yourself. You've only know about this for a couple of hours. Do more research and give it more time. Calm down, I know you're young but wait a bit and evaluate your options. |
This is true. And you have nine months to arrange for adoption to go smoothly or directly to a good family. Adoption can work wonderfully, all parties just have to care about what happens to the child. And the fact you are having to ask for counsel on this and are worried over guilt if an abortion is done tells me you care on some level about all this.
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