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Forums - General Discussion - So I'm not having a child..

ArchangelMadzz said:

WAIT. Halt the congratulations, there's no congratulations to be had here.

So, basically back in late July I slept with this girl (Omg a VGchartzer actually having relations?)

Anyway, she forgot to take her pill and now she's pregnant. Woohoo, anyway. So She's known for a few days and only brought it to my attention 2 hours ago and I'm a little bit jarred, well A fucking fuck tonne jarred. 

We have been friends for a little while and just decided to have sex because well, I'm male she's female and we have needs, one time done and dusted. She's 20 I'm 21.  

Now, I've just started college again the UK doing an applied science and medical science course in the hopes of going to university and spending 3 years there, but now I highly doubt I'll be able to do that and get my future and life sorted out because of this. My main concern is I don't see why she would want to have a child with me, why she would think it's a good idea that 2, 21 year old friends should raise a human being. The idea of having me as my dad would terrify me. 

So we're currently talking and she agrees that it would ruin my life and it's not ideal at all, but is still considering to where she's at 60 for keeping and 40 for getting rid of it. 

I don't want to pressure her into any decision I've only just made my case, she says she wouldn't blame me for leaving but there's NO WAY that after not growing up without a father I would have my child do the same, if she keeps it I will be there 24/7. 

I'm just confused and frustrated and needed to vent to the one and only forum that I visit, thoughts?

Update:

I am pulling for the abortion angle, but I don't want to pressure her into the decision.

The main pro about abortion is that if you decide later to have a child you can, at any time. If you have the child and regret it that's pretty much it. 

She acknowledges that we shouldn't have the child, and that it would ruin my future prospects and 2 friends who have no emotional attachment shouldn't be in charge of a human being as that's not good for anyone.

But she's still unsure on what she wants to do, so I'll probably get back to this in a few days.

Keep us updated. Sounds like you do not want it at all. She probably doesn´t.

As a christian, I think abortion is a sin, but, as all other sins, it is forgivable when you repent, because of the Lord Jesus Christ sacrifice. Same with all other sins.

I hope you get out of this.



My grammar errors are justified by the fact that I am a brazilian living in Brazil. I am also very stupid.

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Adopt it away. There are thousands of people in the UK unable to get children of their own who are trying to adopt a child.



ArchangelMadzz said:
Shiken said:

Life starts in the womb, so if you go the abortion route remember that you are denying your would be child a chance at life. In a sense, you end your child's life to save your own.

And no, your life will not he ruined. There is more than one road to success. You may not be able to take the path that you initially wanted to, but there are more than one path available to take.

I was 21 when my son was born. That was 8 years ago and I now have a one year old daughter as well. I am not a rich man, but I am successful financially making a comfortable six figures a year off of about forty hours a week. I did not start my career until AFTER my son was born.

It can be done, I know you are scared. You may not feel like it now but things happen for a reason and if you strive to move forward, you will find your way. I can promise you this, no matter what you decide career wise, you will never look at your child and think that it ruined your life. You made your decision, you did what you did. As long as you still want to succeed, you will.

I wish you luck and hope you find your way. Keep your head high and keep moving forward. Believe me, it gets better.

I feel I would much prefer the situation if it was with a Girlfriend or someone I had an emotional connection to? 

Silly me for trusting someone to take their pill eh? 

Oh yeah, most girls lie about the pill. Let that be a lesson to all of you vgcharterz. 



My grammar errors are justified by the fact that I am a brazilian living in Brazil. I am also very stupid.

We need a male pill equivalent fucking asap

guess what group of people are against it...

I wish you luck OP whatever happens. It's a lot of pressure at any age, never mind when you are young



celador said:
We need a male pill equivalent fucking asap

guess what group of people are against it...

I wish you luck OP whatever happens. It's a lot of pressure at any age, never mind when you are young

There is a type of surgery for that. And its reversible in case you want children down the road.

 

Edit - Actually, not always reversible. Can consider castration tho.



“Simple minds have always confused great honesty with great rudeness.” - Sherlock Holmes, Elementary (2013).

"Did you guys expected some actual rational fact-based reasoning? ...you should already know I'm all about BS and fraudulence." - FunFan, VGchartz (2016)

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If it were me, I'd be in favor of abortion.

I don't think fetuses are what I would consider human life at this point in the pregnancy. I don't really have any moral qualms about terminating a pregnancy. I do think it's wrong to bring a child into the world if you cannot assure that it will grow up in a loving and nurturing home. At this point, it doesn't seem like you are able to do that.

And as someone who suffers from depression, going off your meds suddenly can be bad. And I've never done that while also having extreme body changes, hormonal fluctuations, and dealing with a life changing event. Basically, it seems like this is a bad idea for all parties involved.



ArchangelMadzz said:
Zkuq said:
Congratulations (on not using a condom)!

Unfortunately you are right, but we were using contraception. She just forgot to take it, hence my apprehensions to her raising a child as seen above.

Nevermind my comment then... As far as I'm concerned, any contraception is good as long as you're sure you're both clean. You just got unlucky. Well, in that case I wish you all the strength in this situation! I hope you'll be able to come to a decision that's good for you.



FunFan said:
celador said:
We need a male pill equivalent fucking asap

guess what group of people are against it...

I wish you luck OP whatever happens. It's a lot of pressure at any age, never mind when you are young

There is a type of surgery for that. And its reversible in case you want children down the road.

 

Edit - Actually, not always reversible. Can consider castration tho.

The only option men have shouldn't be so drastic though



celador said:
FunFan said:

There is a type of surgery for that. And its reversible in case you want children down the road.

 

Edit - Actually, not always reversible. Can consider castration tho.

The only option men have shouldn't be so drastic though

I know 2 people who hve had the procedure done. I will not speak it's name. They are both happy for the most part, but said it was very painful. Surprise surprise.



- "If you have the heart of a true winner, you can always get more pissed off than some other asshole."

COKTOE said:

I know 2 people who hve had the procedure done. I will not speak it's name. They are both happy for the most part, but said it was very painful. Surprise surprise.

More painful than labour?



“Simple minds have always confused great honesty with great rudeness.” - Sherlock Holmes, Elementary (2013).

"Did you guys expected some actual rational fact-based reasoning? ...you should already know I'm all about BS and fraudulence." - FunFan, VGchartz (2016)