selfish of her to not take the pill. People need to understand that having a kid isn't just a woman's decision. if a man(or another woman) is responsible as well, their word should count, especially if they're paying

OP says he's powerless in this situation so let's keep it that way unless his friend decides to ask for input ...

If OP's friend DOES decide to have a baby then I would try for a temporary adoption in his case instead of being there 24/7 at the child's side depending on how long he's going to school ...

OP throwing away his education would mean putting down his and the baby's life into a really dark path that could have no light at the end of the tunnel! A child is weak without any sort of funding but the same goes for anyone else so don't just sacrifice your earnings potential just yet when it could need the money to get your child into university ...

I'll be brutally honest the thread is what 4 hours old and you mentioned you found out 2 hours ago before posting.

So in that two hours of finding out and the extra 4 hours this thread has been up you been panicking and running around like a headless chicken.

You cannot make decisions or even throw out words at a girl like "it will ruin my life" without fist processing the info. On top of that you say she wouldn't make a good mother, really? name one 20 year old woman that gives off the perfect mother vibe? especially in today's society that is all about me me and only me and how many selfies I can get online each day.

You both really need to take a week to process the info then talk about it properly.

Using the "it will ruin my life" is a lazy man's excuse. People have far more on their plates than the situation you will be in.

When I went to uni I studied Engineering full time and worked 20-30 hours a week part time in IT. Mainly after hours support and on weekends. Now the reason I worked wasn't because I needed money for myself but because my brother knocked up a girl at a young age and couldn't afford everything as he was in a low paying job. So my parents paid for his rent and I paid for my parents mortgage. Unlike you thought he never had interest in uni. Guess what he really wasn't there for the child anyway because well he was working 12 hour days in his crappy minimum wage job. This is really no different at any point in your life because well you will be working and the mother will be home with the child or the child will be in daycare if both parents are working.

To keep things short as I don't want o write a novel.

After graduating form engineering. I worked fulltime as an Graduate Engineer about 50-60hour weeks. I even studied full time on weekends my MBA and started a charity with a friend, which i been running for 8 years now.

I now work as a fulltime senior engineer and 3 years ago I started another side business.

I sleep maybe 3-4hours a day and have a kid on the way. I do not plan to cut back anything. It is all about managing your time and sacrificing the need for what "I" want and what my family needs. In the end the what you can offer others will outweigh the "I" needs.

PS - I still have time to come to these forums lol :P

So when you go back to thinking (i.e. not making a quick decision in 2 hours of finding out the news).

Consider the good things of actually having the child and if the only negative is "it will ruin my life" then you need to grow up and learn how to manage your time because down the track you will regret it and go what if i kept it.

Slip a Plan B pill or two in her OJ. Problem solved...

Its ultimately her choice, but I would keep the child. You're lucky enough to get one, so maybe you could send it my way (I kid... I kid). But anyway, aborting isn't really fair for the child. But its your choice, I mean if you both REALLY aren't capable of doing it, I'd say give at least give it up for adoption and give it a chance for life. There are many people in this world who can't have children, so giving someone a chance at having one would be the best route in my opinion

I actually never even went with the 'ruin my life' thing. She was the one that pointed that out first, and said that she knows I've just started my life in a new direction and this gets rid of that. 

My main concern is that 2, 21 year old friends shouldn't be in charge of a human being. As far as I was aware I was having safe sex, turns out she wasn't taking her pill properly. 

Just to anyone who's reading this of my age bracket, learn from me. Please. 

I'm not living my life knowing my genetic material is walking around, if this child is born and given life then it's mine and I'm looking after it. (preferably on my own to be honest, she shouldn't be in charge of a child)

Although chances of a man winning custody rights is pretty much slim to none. Hurray..

Lots to think about....

I can tell you that there is still another option.  Adoption!

Me and my wife had one child together naturally, and tried to have more.  My wife had 7 different miscarriages trying to have more.

Eventually, we have adopted 3 more children.  We feel that we were meant to go this route.  All 4 of our children are awesome and we love them like crazy.

Point is, there are literally tens of thousands of people waiting to adopt newborn babies throughout the world.  You might want to consider doing something bigger than yourself and giving the gift of parentage to a couple in need.

I am not anti-abortion, just want you to add an option to your list.

You have a big decision to make, good luck!

I thought about adoption honestly, but I can't walk around the same planet as my child and not know, or be around for them, I'd have to raise my kid if it's born.