In this thread I will name 10 games and the major reasons why they pissed me off:
10. Sonic Unleashed ( PS3, 360, Wii, PS2-2008)
#1- The daytime levels lack any real substance- People love to defend the daytime stages for whatever reason. I just don't get it. Just abuse the boost mode, jump over some gaps and spikes and of course kill 2 or 3 enemies. Sounds exciting? Not really. It is boring as all hell. The lack of exploration just gives the gamer no reason to play the levels again. Just speed through the levels to get the best rank!
#2- Werehog levels are just as bad if not worse- They play like a half assed God of War game except with crappy platforming sections, repetitive button mashing and now you control a crappy excuse of a character instead of a good character! Totally worth the price!!
9. Metroid Other M ( Wii-2010)
#1- The story is dumb- The story is told as if a special trilogy of games ( The Prime trilogy) never existed. Really? Also, Samus is presented as a weak character. Newcomers now think that she is nothing, but a weak, emotional character which is not true. Look at the Prime games. Samus is not a helpless character in those games. The emotional breakouts are just shameful. Specially the Ridley one. Why be so emotional about a monster you killed so many times? It blows my mind is like what the fuck were they thinking?!
#2- Gameplay is watered down- Remember the awesome exploration of the other Metroid games? I do! I still love it. So can anybody tell me why the hell is Metroid Other M so fucking linear?! You can't go back to other places to fight other enemies and doors even close! Doors close so that we don't get LOST. WHAT THE FUCK. The level design is not all that awesome and the power ups are not any better. Yoshio Sakamoto has done the most damage to the franchise even though he is the man that created it. Shameful.
8. Final Fantasy X ( PS2-2001)
#1- Dissapointing characters and story- Tidus is a pretty meh character. He is boring and............... that's about it. Oh and he has that annoying voice... I just wanted to act as if I forgot about it... Damn, that fucking voice... The script is garbage. No soul was put into the script. NOTHING. No feelings, emotions, nothing. And the ending was just funny...... not in a good way that is.
#2- Mediocre gameplay- The battle system is meh. The whole CTB system is just not as good as the ATB system. Speed? Really? How dumb. The game is linear as all hell. It's not linear enough to call it Final Hallway 10, but it is up there. No extra stuff to do. Almost nothing.. Almost fucking nothing... Well, at least you can use all your party members in a battle, right? That's something I guess...
7. Resident Evil 5 ( PS3, 360-2009)
#1- No horror elements- RE4 had some scares and all good shit. RE5 doesn't have ANY of that! It's a generic 3rd person shooter. You have Sheva on your side to save your ass if an enemy comes along to hit you with a bottle that had beer or some shit like that. So, it's not all that scary when you see a huge amount of enemies coming near you! You have a partner to save your ass! Which means that you need to save your partner's ass as well. If the partner dies, game over for you, buddy. Why even have the damn partner? There are enemies in the game that are shooting at you! Yes! I am not joking if you are a RE fan that hasn't played RE5 or its sequel. There are also enemies on motorbikes... WTF...
#2- Linear gameplay- The first 4 RE games had you doing puzzles, collecting stuff and so on. RE5 has you shooting like a maniac tons of enemies, collecting a few items and doing a really small number of puzzles. What a disaster.. It reminds me of Gears of War........ and that's NOT a good thing. The sequel won't appear in the top 6 because I kinda exected Capcom to try to make the series even more like Gears of War. It was a bad game, but not a dissappointment.
6- Banjo- Kazooie- Nuts & Bolts ( 360-2008)
#1- The game mocks the first two games and their fans- As if Rare was trying to piss us off.. Banjo and Kazooie are fat fucks because Rare was too damn lazy to do anything with them for over 8 years ( 2000-2008). Also, Grunty is back........ but only her robotic head... Haha. Then L.O.G comes and gives Grunty a body and then makes Banjo fit again.... * facepalm* The devs even had the balls to say in the game " Hey Banjo, your face is square, fans will hate it". It's like they are laughing at us. What a good start..
#2- Gameplay fucking sucks- The vehicle idea was stupid. REALLY stupid. Building vehicles works ( at least it is not broken). HOWEVER, the vehicle controls like SHIT. Turning is a huge pain in the ass and the vehicles also jump for no fucking reason most of the time. It's awkward. The normal attacks are also watered down. Kazooie cannot peck at enemies and Banjo cannot claw enemies anymore? Why? Why are we limited to the crappy weapons that the vehicles have? Ugh.. It makes me sick...
#3- Recycled music- Is the music good? Yes. I just don't like it being recycled. Kirkhope was one of the composers. I expected more than just recycled music from him. Thank God he is not at Rare anymore. He left before it was too late.
5. Paper Mario Sticker Star ( 3DS-2012)
#1- No original story- What I loved about the other Paper Mario games is how they didn't go for the Bowser rescues Peach story. They tried something fresh and original. Sticker Star does the opposite of that. It goes for the unoriginal story. Why?! We all know it was Miyamoto's fault. He thought that the game didn't need a story! WHAT?! I respect Miyamoto, but that is just wrong. Is he the reason why this game is a disaster? Ugh.
#2- Battles are watered down- You battle enemies by using stickers that you find.. Level up system is gone and gaining EXP is not even a fucking thing anymore. You get points which are used to buy stickers which are used to kill enemies and by killing enemies you get more points... Is as repetitive as it can get. Even Super Paper Mario's gameplay was better. Killing enemies actually meant a damn thing. Here. It doesn't mean a damn thing.
#3- No real partners- Partners in the older games had distinct personalities and I even felt a bit bad for some of them when shit happened to them. I didn't feel bad for Kersti. NO. She feels worthless. I have fond memories of the partners from the previous PM games ( specially TTYD). Here? Nothing. Kersti feels bloody soulless. What a wasted opportunity.
4- Star Fox Misadventures/ Adventures ( gameCube-2002)
#1- Gameplay is as awful and watered down as it can get- Star Fox went from being an awesome 3d space shooter with awesome moments to a half assed Zelda rip-off... -_-. There are so many things that are wrong with fucking disaster. The boring dialogue is bad enough, but the combat is not fun at all. It's a single button and nothing more. Joy.... What a innovative direction Rare chose for the Star Fox franchise... Hooray.... You also get a baby companion dinosaur, but that piece of shit is so fucking worthless I rather NOT have him with me. You even have to feed him! I am not fucking joking... The hit detection is broken..... VERY BROKEN.... Game of the year 2002 right here, folks.
#2- Worst concept for a Star Fox game ever- Turning Star Fox into a damn Zelda rip-off WAS NOT what fans wanted. The game so bad that we got a slightly better Star Fox game called Star Fox Assault. The whole Dinosaur Planet idea was also pretty bad. Taking care of the damn dinosaur was just the cherry on the shit sunday. Fuck this game.
3- Final Fantasy 13/ Final Hallway 13 ( PS3, 360- 2010)
#1- Terrible story and characters- The story was so confusing and so bad I gave up playing after a healthy amount of hours. It was that bad. I am not even going to bother explaining something because I still don't get it..... What a dumb story. Regarding the characters... yeah, they suck ass. Lighting is an annoying bitch that even has the balls (???) to leave some children in the wilderness. How did this stupid bitch get a fanbase? I will never fucking know. Snow, Vanille and Hope are not any better either... Snow is a douche, Vanille is a sexualized 14 year old and Hope is a shallow 13 year old boy... Cool cast, SE. Fang has to be one of the better characters. He is tolerable.
#2- Sub-par gameplay- There is a huge fucking reason why this is called Final Hallway 13. This is what the damn game is. A huge collection of hallways. It's boring, not fun, it destroys exploration and IT IS FUCKING STUPID!! No exploration, just going straight ahead and eventually fight an enemy or two. Yeah, that's fucking exciting. Also, there are no towns, shops or inns in this sorry excuse of a Final Fantasy game. FUCKING NOTHING. The combat system is not any better. Trust me on that. it's called the Paradigm Shift system which means that switching between classes is what you'll be doing a lot. I mena A LOT. There is also an "auto-battle" button ( yes I am not kidding) and you can win certain fights by mashing that button without the need of using the Paradigm Shift system. How nice, SE. Ugh. I am sick of ranting about this piece of shit. NEXT!
2- Sonic 06/ Glitchfest 06 ( PS3, 360-2006)
#1- The reason it is named Glitchfest 06- This game is FULL of glitches. FULL! I am not fucking kidding! You can fall through platforms, get stuck in certain places and even lose boss fights. Yes! You should know the Silver fight by now. A weird glitch happens. Say he gets you once. You won't be able to move fast enough and he will get you again thus killing you.. How the fuck is it fair for a video game to do that?! There are also collision detection glitches where the fucking homing attack won't hit the enemy and instead it will lead to your death. Thank God Sonic Lost World will have the best homing attack in the series. Piece of shit game....
#2- Abysmal gameplay- Leaving the glitches aside, Sonic 06..... I mean Glitchfest 06 also has problems such as long, boring dialogue with town's people, the repetitive use of the homing attack ( I am not kidding on this one. It requires no thought whatsoever), the speedy stages that are almost as bad as the daytime stages in Unleashed except with worse controls. The camera is also fucking annoying as it gets in the way MANY times. I heard Sonic will stop and will do some Moonwalk.. Hahahha..... Sigh......
#3- Abysmal story- The game features some of the worst cutscenes and story EVER IN A VIDEO GAME. A line in one of the cutscenes is "All I need is your smile.." It's fucking gross when you see an animal and a human talk like this. What the fucking fuck were they smoking?! At the end of the game, the princess kisses Sonic.....................Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!
1- Duke Nukem ( Sucks) Forever
#1- it killed what DN used to be: Let's see. This game is linear as all fucking hell. Remember when you used to explore rooms to find more things to kill? Well, you can't bloody do that in this fucking damn game... This game also has terrible puzzles and platforming sections that are so bad they don't belong in a DN game. They don't! They fucking don't!! The driving sections are not any better. The cars control like shit. It's Nuts and Bolts all over again. Also, you are limited by the number of weapons you carry.......... WHAT?! Just to make it feel like a modern shooter... Fuck that.. How the fuck do they dare to limit Duke! Fucking assholes! Also, your life regenerates just like in CoD..... eally? Duke even makes fun of body armors in the fucking game saying that body armors are pussies.... What a shameful game.
#2- Poop jokes and wall boobs- Pretty self explainatory... They don't belong in a DN game. Poop jokes feel fucking dated and the wall boobs? I like boobies and all, but I wouldn't touch those wall boobs even if they paid me 1 million dollars... Not even that. I think I had nightmares for a week when saw those wall boobs.. yuck.
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