Anyone else having impulsive buying issues? I'm desperately looking for a new monitor after the one I just got developed a dead pixel, and before that I also had a monitor that had weird noises. I mean, I could return it, but I made the atrocious mistake of buying it from someone, and not from a store. The point is, the pixel is so tiny, you can only notice it in bright scenes, and really if you're intentionally looking for it at that. I figure I can wait until a sale and find a cheap option, instead of having to pay full price for another one, which potentially could turn out bad as well. But somehow I can't process that thought and the anxiety is absolutely taking over. I'm constantly staring at Amazon and other online stores.

Feel like an idiot for saying this.

I just bought over 150 new games. Some site sold Switch, XB1 and PS4 games for like 20 cents a piece. I see the site is down now, so it was probably some bug. Just waiting for them to contact me and say I wont be getting them.lol

Pretty content. Working harder than usual at a job that's usually cake but in the grand scheme of things, I'm pretty happy. At the point where I just want everyone else to be happy, too.

That was a great things you did reuniting that dog with its owner. You have a good heart. Don't ever lose that.

Glad to hear you're well, and thanks again man, I try to be the best I can be. 

Anyway, at the moment, I'm just trying to focus on the short term as thinking too far into the future makes me scared about how things could go wrong by then, especially with my health. So I'm just trying to look forward to stuff happening soon like Monster Hunter Rise, Crash 4 on Switch, Godzilla vs Kong.

I'll feel soooo much better if my next scans in April, the major one-year-mark full body ones, come back all clear. I'm pretty sure that is the root cause of the anxiety I'm feeling recently.

Man, it's really strange adjusting to life post-cancer.

For nearly two years I've never thought very far ahead into the future as it felt like I wouldn't be here in a year's time; it's a huge relief to no longer have that constant crushing fear on my back, but I'm still getting used to thinking beyond just the next few months. Maybe it's better to focus on the short term anyway, rather than always looking to the horizon and forgetting to living in the moment.

Traumatic as it was, maybe the whole experience has improved my life in some ways, made me a better person.

Thinking to far ahead is ok, but use it more as a what I would desire to have in life rather than I must have in life.

For me these days, I don't even think ahead what I will do the next day lol. Just go with the flow, work and if others need my attention I slot them in. However I would not recommend this way of life, try to at least consider some long terms plans. This way of life drives my wife crazy lol. I basically tell her see how I feel on the day lol. Hard to plan a weekend away when you think that way.

Today, I finally got my dream job: washing dishes and cleaning at Foster's Hollywood for a shitty (although enough for me) salary. The train to my future is coming!

To explain how this happened, they phoned me this morning for an urgent interview, and there was only one more candidate, so shortly after that I got another call and the interviewer told me that the other person didn't have enough flexible hours and I seemed to be in more need of a job. So they basically hired me because they had no other choice lol.

Oh, and this happened in the hottest day of the year in my country, 42°C where I live, which is not a problem... unless your only vehicle is a bike and you have to go there and back twice under that hell of a sun. Luckily, it's not too far away from my place.

And well, that's the fascinating story of how Verter got a job; a heroic feat that all the future bards will sing to the world in all the existing languages of their time.

Congrats Verter, happy for ya man. :)

Well, I finally organized my brother's vaccinations; he has autism like me but his is a little bit more intense and he needs looking after in some respects, like having his appointments and things organized for him. Sometimes I feel like I'm his parent, and a helicopter parent at that just cos of my severe anxiety; I worry about him so much. I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that he may never be able to be fully independent, but as long as he is happy, that's okay. I just don't know if I can be his carer for the rest of my life, as at some point I want to be independent myself, move out of the flat we share and have my own family.

Hopefully in the future services will improve and we'll be able to organize the right support for him, so that we can each live our own lives. I love him to bits, I just don't know if I'm cut out to be his stand-in Dad forever.

Thanks! Now I only need to find a good one. =P The current one is (a bit) crappy and not 100% partial-time, but at least will help me have some financial independence.

By the way, your situation with your brother, while not the same at all, vaguely reminds me of mine with my uncle: I've become quite useful here taking care of him (a disabled person with schizophrenic personality) and it's harder for my family to do it when I'm not, so I kind of understand how you feel.

EDIT: Nevermind, I had a bit of a breakdown and my OCD got the better of me. I swear I'll feel like the weight of the world has lifted from my shoulders once I get my second covid shot.