Forums - NSFW Discussion - Tinder worth paying for?

Is it worth paying for?

Yep! 3 8.82%
 
No! 31 91.18%
 
Total:34

Have you tried going to bars? If you aren't looking for relationship and just want to get laid then start going to bars. Drunk chicks are usually easier to pickup. Alcohol will help you get laid.  I've been in long term on and off for past decade or so but I have been good wingman for friends in past. I've gotten one friend laid multiple times by going up to a couple or group of girls first breaking ice then calling my friend over.

Find a good wingman and hit the bars up.



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Whether you pay or not, what you really need to do is find a guy that has had great success with online dating, and have him make your profile. Women generally can't do it well, because they don't understand what works. It's not what they think they want to hear.



sethnintendo said:

Have you tried going to bars? If you aren't looking for relationship and just want to get laid then start going to bars. Drunk chicks are usually easier to pickup. Alcohol will help you get laid.  I've been in long term on and off for past decade or so but I have been good wingman for friends in past. I've gotten one friend laid multiple times by going up to a couple or group of girls first breaking ice then calling my friend over.

Find a good wingman and hit the bars up.

I have tried going to bars, yes, actually met my first girlfriend at one, but I do find them an extremely difficult environment to handle due to the noise and crowds; being drunk helps a lot, but I've been recommended to avoid alcohol while I undergo treatment for my cancer.

I also don't really want to pick up drunk women due to issues with consent.



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curl-6 said:
sethnintendo said:

Have you tried going to bars? If you aren't looking for relationship and just want to get laid then start going to bars. Drunk chicks are usually easier to pickup. Alcohol will help you get laid.  I've been in long term on and off for past decade or so but I have been good wingman for friends in past. I've gotten one friend laid multiple times by going up to a couple or group of girls first breaking ice then calling my friend over.

Find a good wingman and hit the bars up.

I have tried going to bars, yes, actually met my first girlfriend at one, but I do find them an extremely difficult environment to handle due to the noise and crowds; being drunk helps a lot, but I've been recommended to avoid alcohol while I undergo treatment for my cancer.

I also don't really want to pick up drunk women due to issues with consent.

That's why you at least make sure they are awake first and not passed out.  Jking

I think it could still work. Just pick a bar that doesn't blast music where you have to yell to communicate person next to you.  Might be older crowd bar but shit least you can actually talk to someone. 

Try a poolhall.  You can play pool and darts.  They are less noisy than most bars also.  Also your cancer could be used as a sympathy fuck.  Just don't lead with it.   Act not depressed and happy go lucky at first.  Eventually you can tell them but nobody likes a Debby downer.  So just like 15 or 20 mins in drop the C word but try to quickly move on like it isn't a big deal.  Show some confidence. Women love confidence. Don't get all inflated Donald Trump "confidence".  Just act like you have a pair of balls.  If you get rejected it isn't end of world just move on.   Bring a friend that has a girl or is good at breaking ice.  That way if you are too nervous to talk to girl making eye contact with you then you can send them in first to break the ice.  Try and make them laugh also.  Women love guys with sense of humor.  If you aren't good with spontaneous humor then don't force it.

Last edited by sethnintendo - on 27 December 2019

Got 9 more days til my free month runs out.

Debating whether to reset my profile after that. It does kinda feel like throwing away 3 years of work in all that swiping.

I hear it does help though, even if usually only in the short term, as apparently the more you've swiped the more the algorithm buries you and the less people even see your profile. That said, I tried using boost and that didn't help, so maybe I'm just not conventionally attractive enough for tinder at the end of the day.



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My best advice is to go to as many parties with friends as you can. Every female I have ever had a relationship with I met at a party. When you are at a party do not worry about talking to women. Talk to anyone. Talking will eventually expand the circle to more people.



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Well, as this is the last day of my month of paid Tinder, I can safely say no, not worth paying for.

Might just delete my profile and start from scratch as was suggested earlier. See if that helps at all. 



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curl-6 said:
Farsala said:

Here is how I see it.

Between an attractive guy on tinder or being approached in person, I think they would rather be approached.

So for an average guy on tinder or being approached in person, they would rather be approached.

And it should go without saying that an unattractive guy on tinder is more easily rejected on tinder than being approached in person, so again they would rather be approached.

I try, it's just when I approach women in person I get the distinct impression they're uncomfortable and would rather I pissed off. They also tend to wear earbuds as a "don't approach me" thing when in public. 

What scenarions/venues is it acceptable to talk to women these days?

You have nothing to lose. Take the risk and approach in real world. You have wasted 3 years on dating apps for no results. Time to quit online dating and just approach anywhere in real world. Quit caring what others think and pursue what curl-6 wants.



You are probably more attractive than you think. In my experience online dating is a bit lopsided: The only thing you have to go by is looks and a few sentences in a profile. Men are visual creatures so we are easily swayed by a beautiful face. Also, there's the expectation for the man to take the initiative. The result of this is that women feel they are being chased by dozens, even hundreds of guys when using online dating apps. The women are drowning in messages and so they become extremely picky, way pickier than in real life. The men, in turn, notice they are not getting many matches and thus lower their standards to include women they wouldn't date in real life - which in turn makes women even more picky. It's not a good situation for anyone: The guys hardly get any matches (unless they are in the top 5-10% of looks) and the women get flooded by often creepy messages.

You said you are also approaching women in real life. Have you tried social circle, i.e. getting to know the (female) friend of a friend? Social circle is the most natural way to approach a woman in my personal experience. Cold approaching might work but there's been so many guys who are into pickup lately that women tend to get more and more annoyed - every other guy is a "pick up artist" these days and women know the tricks by now.

From personal experience: I work out regularly like you and I usually get warm reactions from attractive women I meet in real life (I've been very chubby when I was younger and didn't have good looks at all).  I'm definitely not a model, just an average guy who's putting some energy into staying fit. But online dating has been horrible for me. The only women who showed actual interest online were very unattractive and of way lower quality (in terms of personality, too) than the women who show interest in real life. Maybe that's just my personal experience but I wouldn't recommend online dating at this point. Or, at the very least, don't expect it to be a reflection of your attractiveness in real life.

I also wanted to take this opportunity to send you my best wishes. I hope you'll be well and healthy again, soon. Stay strong, Curl! We're all with you and cheering for you on the sidelines.



Thanks guys.

I think I will ultimately have to put more emphasis on trying to meet women in real life. It is just hard to find places and scenarios where it feels acceptable. I mean I can't just ask out the cute cashier at the local supermarket in front of the queue behind me waiting to be served for example.



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