All in all, I'm just another brick in the wall. Sorry to disappoint you, this was what came to mind.

Oh yeah, I have a slight habit of inserting song lyrics or quotes into conversations, it secretly amuses me. One time I was on a date and a song called "Breakfast at Tiffany's" was playing in the background of the comedy club we were at. She didn't quite get it when I turned to her and said, "they say, we've got nothing in common". Although the rest of the night was fine, after a couple of months I think we'd both agree I nailed it with that line.

Bonus fact, on the night of our first date my hair was absolute shit, so instead of wasting time/money buying some hair gel, before I met her, I stopped by a small shop, bought a Creme Egg and used the gooey filling to fix my hair up. It worked surprisingly well and if she'd ever wanted to lick or suck my hair, well, it would have been super effective.

I manage a coffee shop, I drink five coffees a day, I’m addicted to coffee.
I haven’t had my coffees today, now I need a coffee, WHERE’S MY COFFEE ?
I definitely drink too much coffee...

roblox horror games for some reason really creep me out at times where as actual big horror games don't

I played through things like Amnesia: The Dark Descent when I was 17 years old and wasn't scared at all, but a really well made Roblox horror game even now for some reason just uneases me, and i'll often just end up muting the audio or leaning away from the screen as I play lmao

jesus fucking christ, were people looking at you in the mall or anything? 

the same thing happened to be but not nearly as bad. was walking home under some electric wires where birds are often sitting and all of a sudden some shit landed in my hair. went home and immediately showered and washed my hair and face several times. 

Whose government? Is it Greenland's? I hear they are for sale. I'd like to place a bid, do you know where the auctioneer is?

I have an obsession with all things turtle. We have an entire bathroom called the turtle bathroom, along with various turtle things scattered throughout the house, our mulchbed, and my car. I simply find turtles adorable.

I enjoy trolling. Also, I want a PS4 Potable to water!

I have £45k in the bank. I have no life.

I AM white!
I AM a fucking bum!
I do live in a trailer with my mom.
My boy Future IS an Uncle Tom!
I do got a dumb friend named Cheddar Bob
Who shoots himself in his leg with his own gun.
I did get jumped by all six of you chumps!
And Wink did fuck my girl
I'm still standing here screaming, "Fuck the Free World!"

*Edit* Okay. I lied about being white but the rest of it is probably true...