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Forums - NSFW Discussion - How to satiate sexual desires while maintaining respect for women?

You are trying to say that there is no woman around the globe that enjoy rough sex?



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BraLoD said:
Knew the thread would be yours


Haha same. xD



VGPolyglot said:

So, this is a topic that has profoundly troubled me for a while. I do have sexual desires, which I currently relieve through masturbation. However, it's hard to do that through thoughts alone, so I tend to use pornographic material too while doing that. Now, this is where the problem lies. The pornographic industry is not the happiest place at all, far from it in fact. Porn stars have a pretty high suicide rate and lower life-expectancy. This highlights the general unhappiness that porn stars have, and it makes it very hard to consciously watch porn without thinking of the working conditions and relationships, how dehumanizing it must be to have a job like that and the normalization of sex that makes it hard to fully enjoy it.

So, what I tend to do frequently is use fictional media instead, mainly hentai (in the forms of anime and doujinshi), as since they're fictional characters it is impossible for them to be truly hurt/exploited. However, I can understand that for others it's hard to do it, and even for me I tend to shuffle things up in order to be able to stay aroused and avoid desensitization. So, there has to be a happy medium. I myself try very hard to not have pornography affect my views and treatment of women, and I hope that I have maintained that. But I was also curious on your guys' thoughts and perspectives on the matter.

I don't believe that your respect for women and your consumption of porn necessarily have to be linked. I think it's possible to enjoy porn and respect women.

The porn industry is sometimes destructive, true, but your participation (meaning: watching videos on the internet) is negligible to the way the porn industry is run. Whether you watch or do not watch a video will not change anything for any human being -- apart from yourself and your personal enjoyment.

If you're concerned about the "dehumanization" of porn, and that saps your ability to enjoy such media, try to keep in mind that not all porn actresses (and actors for that matter) consider themselves to be dehumanized; some consider themselves to be empowered, and to enjoy the sex -- and the money and fame. Don't consider yourself responsible to figure out which is which: give people the benefit of the doubt in that they are making choices for themselves to better their own lives and circumstances (which, I'll add, I think is a position consonant with "respecting women"; assuming that women in the porn industry are being manipulated into doing things they don't "really" want to do, etc., strikes me as patronizing).

I'll also say that you have no responsibility to "chase women," which isn't something I'd recommend anyways. Sex is great. Relationships are great. (Or these can be great, at least.) But you shouldn't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing -- and that goes for watching porn, too. Don't force yourself to be other than what you are. Just recognize that there's nothing wrong with your taking pleasure in porn, and that you have no moral duty to abstain from it.



1. Do you have any moral qualms listening to rock n roll music? Buying shirts and shoes made in poor countries? Eating human flesh?
2. Why do you think it’s a stressful hassle to get laid? It’s really quite the opposite :D

Why not mix the two, invite a woman over to watch some porn with you? A good many women are shy about it, but if you ask around you’ll be surprised at the answers you’ll find. Also, watching porn with a woman, especially with a glass of wine, can really get the mood going.

Last edited by Jumpin - on 27 April 2018

I describe myself as a little dose of toxic masculinity.

Old Navy catalog.



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Jumpin said:

1. Do you have any moral qualms listening to rock n roll music? Buying shirts and shoes made in poor countries? Eating human flesh?
2. Why do you think it’s a stressful hassle to get laid? It’s really quite the opposite :D

Why not mix the two, invite a woman over to watch some porn with you? A good many women are shy about it, but if you ask around you’ll be surprised at the answers you’ll find. Also, watching porn with a woman, especially with a glass of wine, can really get the mood going.

I do agree with point 1 actually, "there is no ethical consumption under capitalism" is a common socialist saying, so I guess I shouldn't really just focus on this when it is essentially inevitable.



Here is a somewhat related TEDx talk on the issue at hand...



John2290 said:
 

That's the sane thing for men but to say few women enjoy it is ridiculously oversimplifying it. Sure I'm not going to go out and lick some random pussy but when I do, I very much enjoy the enjoyment of giving enjoyment. To say few women  (or men too) enjoy giving oral and that's only in the realm of porn is false. 

It is? Because I've got survey data if needed.

But let's just try a simple experiment so that you see the difference between you delivering oral sex on a woman and receiving oral sex from her: Take your middle finger and place it as far as you can down your throat. (It probably won't be very far.) See how long it takes you to gag. How much fun was that? Okay, now mentally multiply the circumference about three times and add motion.

It may be furthermore worth adding that the vagina is not the logical analogy to the male penis. It's located in the same place on the female body that the balls are on yours for a biological reason. The clitoris is the closest analogy to the male penis in terms of pleasure delivery. Stimulating a man's penis orally can result in him achieving orgasm with sufficient diligence. You orally pleasuring a pussy will never result in a woman achieving orgasm. That's like suggesting that you might achieve orgasm purely through the stimulation of your balls, without any penile stimulation.

Last edited by Jaicee - on 27 April 2018

John2290 said:
 

You are talking deep throughting which isn't the only oral and yeah, not many women can or are willing but a a BJ is never an issue and whatever servey data you have on that it must askin on a first encounter or some shit or rhe sample size were wrong or lying. Also, I've much more chance in give a woman an orgasm orally,much, much faster than shagging and again much much faster with my hand. 

Your serveys are incorrect or asking the wrong pool of people. 

*sigh* Okay, since you don't believe me, here you are: the datas.

In case you're too lazy to click on the link, here's the bottom line: statistically speaking, men are twice as likely to enjoy performing oral sex on women as women are to enjoy performing oral sex on men, but, in spite of this fact, are far less likely to bother.

Specifically: only 26% of women report performing oral sex on a man at all, and only 28% of those that do say that they actually enjoy doing so. 28% of 26%. I don't have a calculator handy, but mental math is sufficient to indicate that that's less than 10% of all women. So that's why I feel justified in saying that "very few women enjoy performing oral sex" on men. Also, the poll does not say "deep throat". It says "oral sex".

The reason women are more likely to perform oral sex than men despite far more rarely enjoying it is because...well that's what porn says you're supposed to do. Porn conversely does not say that men are supposed to return the favor very often, so men rarely bother IRL.

Last edited by Jaicee - on 27 April 2018

Jaicee said:

*sigh* Okay, since you don't believe me, here you are: the datas.

In case you're too lazy to click on the link, here's the bottom line: statistically speaking, men are twice as likely to enjoy performing oral sex on women as women are to enjoy performing oral sex on men, but, in spite of this fact, are far less likely to bother.

Specifically: only 26% of women report performing oral sex on a man at all, and only 28% of those that do say that they actually enjoy doing so. 28% of 26%. I don't have a calculator handy, but mental math is sufficient to indicate that that's less than 10% of all women. So that's why I feel justified in saying that "very few women enjoy performing oral sex" on men. Also, the poll does not say "deep throat". It says "oral sex".

The reason women are more likely to perform oral sex than men despite far more rarely enjoying it is because...well that's what porn says you're supposed to do. Porn conversely does not say that men are supposed to return the favor very often, so men rarely bother IRL.

"Statistically speaking" there is a lot wrong with that article. First of all, it doesn't link the actual survey/study, but it also falsifies results. From the abstract of the actual study: 

More women (59%) than men (52%) reported giving oral sex to their partner. More men (63%) than women (44%) reported receiving oral sex. Most men (73%) and women (69%) reported that receiving oral sex was “very pleasurable.” Though most participants rated giving oral sex as at least “somewhat pleasurable,” men were significantly more likely than women to report that giving oral sex was very pleasurable (52% vs. 28%).

So, your mental math fails on grounds of wrong data. In which case it would equal to roughly ~16,5% of women that enjoy giving oral sex. Which is a complicated stat to deal with itself, as you cannot determine how the 41% that didn't give oral sex to their partners stand towards it.

Link to the study, if someone wants to pay 16,5$ to read it, lol: https://www.utpjournals.press/doi/full/10.3138/cjhs.251-A2