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Forums - NSFW Discussion - How to satiate sexual desires while maintaining respect for women?

VGPolyglot said:
John2290 said:

Well arent you the right saint. Regardless, if that is your attitude I hope you can wheather the misery it'll bring to you and those around you. You can't do anything good for people or the world around you if you don't take care of yourself first. Mental castrating yourself yourself is a fucked up way to respect women and fact is, you may not see it and women don't show it but they want to be game, regardless if you play or not. Chasing women isn't going to hurt anyone for fuck sake...I mean ...ah im so confused here, I'm pretty sure you're just afraid and making excuses. Perhaps this thread is a cry for help because you certainly seem npt to have a male friend to push you on or if you do they are doing a piss poor job.

However, your life, your health and your mental state. I'll say no more besides you're batshit in not chasing women.

Are you sure that's the case? Like I think we'd need the voices of some actual women here to see if that's true.

As long as "actual women" doesn't include psychotic feminazis.



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Why does the title mention specifically women, when the subject is masturbation and porn?

Do you think that porn is a dream job for male porn stars only? Do you think that women don't watch porn?

You're overthinking it. If you want to masturbate, do it with any (legal) material and it's perfectly fine.



VAMatt said:
I disagree with the premise that watching porn is disrespectful to women. Sex work is legitimate work, and nearly everyone in the porn business is there because they have chosen to be. Acting like their work is somehow "disrespectful" is, in itself, disrespectful.

So, if you don't want to be disrespectful, maybe start by not being so judgmental and patronizing.

porn turns women's bodies into a commodity to be bought and used at the behest of men... of course its inherently harmful to women 



VGPolyglot said:

So, this is a topic that has profoundly troubled me for a while. I do have sexual desires, which I currently relieve through masturbation. However, it's hard to do that through thoughts alone, so I tend to use pornographic material too while doing that. Now, this is where the problem lies. The pornographic industry is not the happiest place at all, far from it in fact. Porn stars have a pretty high suicide rate and lower life-expectancy. This highlights the general unhappiness that porn stars have, and it makes it very hard to consciously watch porn without thinking of the working conditions and relationships, how dehumanizing it must be to have a job like that and the normalization of sex that makes it hard to fully enjoy it.

So, what I tend to do frequently is use fictional media instead, mainly hentai (in the forms of anime and doujinshi), as since they're fictional characters it is impossible for them to be truly hurt/exploited. However, I can understand that for others it's hard to do it, and even for me I tend to shuffle things up in order to be able to stay aroused and avoid desensitization. So, there has to be a happy medium. I myself try very hard to not have pornography affect my views and treatment of women, and I hope that I have maintained that. But I was also curious on your guys' thoughts and perspectives on the matter.

"So, what I tend to do frequently is use fictional media instead, mainly hentai (in the forms of anime and doujinshi), as since they're fictional characters it is impossible for them to be truly hurt/exploited. "

this is still not on man

the real problem with porn is its commodification of women's bodies to be used at any time by a man

this obviously occurs directly with sex workers but also indirectly through fiction

have you watched anita sarkeesians videos on the sexualisation of video game charaters for example?




o_O.Q said:
VAMatt said:
I disagree with the premise that watching porn is disrespectful to women. Sex work is legitimate work, and nearly everyone in the porn business is there because they have chosen to be. Acting like their work is somehow "disrespectful" is, in itself, disrespectful.

So, if you don't want to be disrespectful, maybe start by not being so judgmental and patronizing.

porn turns women's bodies into a commodity to be bought and used at the behest of men... of course its inherently harmful to women 

That's simply not true.  It's a super outdated opinion that is not supported by fact.  

In reality, women consume tons of porn - about 40% of it, last time I checked.  So, your basic premise, that's its men exploiting women,  is just wrong.  Also, saying "of course" doesn't actually serve as evidence.  



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VAMatt said:
o_O.Q said:

porn turns women's bodies into a commodity to be bought and used at the behest of men... of course its inherently harmful to women 

That's simply not true.  It's a super outdated opinion that is not supported by fact.  

In reality, women consume tons of porn - about 40% of it, last time I checked.  So, your basic premise, that's its men exploiting women,  is just wrong.  Also, saying "of course" doesn't actually serve as evidence.  

You don't get it!

 

Men are all sexual beasts, always drooling, rock hard and ready to have sex with any hole they see for hours in the most dominant and unromantic positions.

 

So you see? Porn doesn't objectify men at all, only women. And of course, only men watch it. So porn is a crime against women, but perfect for men...

 

/s



VAMatt said:
o_O.Q said:

porn turns women's bodies into a commodity to be bought and used at the behest of men... of course its inherently harmful to women 

That's simply not true.  It's a super outdated opinion that is not supported by fact.  

In reality, women consume tons of porn - about 40% of it, last time I checked.  So, your basic premise, that's its men exploiting women,  is just wrong.  Also, saying "of course" doesn't actually serve as evidence.  

its not an opinion its a fact

women consuming porn also does not disregard its damage

there is such a thing as internalised misogyny

http://www.culturalbridgestojustice.org/programs/sexism/internalized-sexism/

 

you have to ask yourself, what is the purpose of porn? the purpose of porn is to make women's bodies available for the sexual gratification of men (obviously i'm generalising since men are the main consumers of porn) at all times without those men having to negotiate with an autonomous woman to do so 

this is the very definition of objectification which is a massive problem in our society

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/05/study-the-objectification-of-women-is-a-real-measurable-phenomenon/257504/

"The male and female subjects matched the photos similarly. They recognized right-side-up men better than upside-down men, suggesting that they saw the sexualized men as persons. On the contrary, the women in underwear weren't any harder to recognize when they appeared upside down, indicating that the sexy women were consistently identified as objects.

CONCLUSION: People objectify women in sexualized photos, but not men."

and objectification is the main driving force for various women's issues such as sexual violence since an attitude is cultivated in men where they feel entitled to women's bodies since they are just objects without agency

https://www.bustle.com/p/why-objectifying-women-makes-men-violent-32880

"You may be wondering why the sexual objectification of women has anything to do with violence if it doesn't explicitly depict violence itself. If nobody's suggesting overtly that rape or violence against women are a good idea, surely objectification can't be to blame? Well, not really. Research indicates that it doesn't just end with women being depicted as objects without humanity, needs or rights; it's about what they're objects for. The message, unfortunately, is often for gratification of dudes. And that approach can lead to some serious problems for women's safety."

 

this is all well understood and you need to come to terms with the real world consequences for women



Porn feeds rape culture!



VGPolyglot said:
bananaking21 said:
Get laid?

Nah, I don't feel like going through the hassle of doing that at the moment

Is that really something you consider to be a "hassle"? Even if that were true, wouldn't you not want to have the reputation of being the guy that thinks getting laid is a hassle?

Calling it "getting laid" is probably not the best choice of words considering the purpose of this thread, but what about finding a girl to spend time with and bond with? That's like the greatest thing in life.



o_O.Q said:
VAMatt said:

That's simply not true.  It's a super outdated opinion that is not supported by fact.  

In reality, women consume tons of porn - about 40% of it, last time I checked.  So, your basic premise, that's its men exploiting women,  is just wrong.  Also, saying "of course" doesn't actually serve as evidence.  

its not an opinion its a fact

women consuming porn also does not disregard its damage

there is such a thing as internalised misogyny

http://www.culturalbridgestojustice.org/programs/sexism/internalized-sexism/

 

you have to ask yourself, what is the purpose of porn? the purpose of porn is to make women's bodies available for the sexual gratification of men (obviously i'm generalising since men are the main consumers of porn) at all times without those men having to negotiate with an autonomous woman to do so 

this is the very definition of objectification which is a massive problem in our society

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/05/study-the-objectification-of-women-is-a-real-measurable-phenomenon/257504/

"The male and female subjects matched the photos similarly. They recognized right-side-up men better than upside-down men, suggesting that they saw the sexualized men as persons. On the contrary, the women in underwear weren't any harder to recognize when they appeared upside down, indicating that the sexy women were consistently identified as objects.

CONCLUSION: People objectify women in sexualized photos, but not men."

and objectification is the main driving force for various women's issues such as sexual violence since an attitude is cultivated in men where they feel entitled to women's bodies since they are just objects without agency

https://www.bustle.com/p/why-objectifying-women-makes-men-violent-32880

"You may be wondering why the sexual objectification of women has anything to do with violence if it doesn't explicitly depict violence itself. If nobody's suggesting overtly that rape or violence against women are a good idea, surely objectification can't be to blame? Well, not really. Research indicates that it doesn't just end with women being depicted as objects without humanity, needs or rights; it's about what they're objects for. The message, unfortunately, is often for gratification of dudes. And that approach can lead to some serious problems for women's safety."

 

this is all well understood and you need to come to terms with the real world consequences for women

This "study" is based entirely on the principle that "If you recognize someone, it means you objectify them". What a crappy and scientifically worthless basis. We could make the same study and say "People consider that all men are the same, don't pay attention to them and are then unable to recognize them in pictures". I love the very scientific "weren't any harder" mention. I can't read the entire study now, that's too bad, I'm sure the methodology of the study is state-of-the-art. We can barely see the obvious agenda of the guys behind it...

 

I'm a published author in a medical review myself, and I can tell you that: not every published paper is worth  scientifically more than reading used toilet paper after a big diarrhea.

Last edited by Faelco - on 27 April 2018