It didn't fall flat, but your post sure did.

Careful with spoilers, all. I haven’t played DK yet.

Also, all, there’s a very important note to consider regarding the censorship of Dispatch: The reasoning might not necessarily be a Nintendo problem, but rather, an issue with CERO (the JP version of ESRB/PEGI). Appearently, Japan has a highly strict “no nudity” policy in games— this would explain why, for instance, the JP version of Dispatch on PS5 has been granted the same censorship as the NS2 version (though how all of those hentai games are able to make it onto the Nintendo eShop is beyond me (EDIT— turns out the hentai games use the loophole of not actually containing nudity.)).

That said: Why then isn’t it just the JP version of Dispatch with censorship, if that is the entire issue? From what I understand, Nintendo doesn’t offer publishers the option to release multiple versions of their games varying based on regions. The most they’ll allow are language changes.