Had depression in my teens for a while, and for a few years in my early twenties. Was easier in my twenties because I self medicated with alcohol. Lost a lot of friendships and jobs during that period of my life, have a lot of regrets when I think about that time to be honest. I shut off a lot of emotions as a coping mechanism.

These days however, perfectly fine. I definitely think that finding a goal, in this case university, helped me aim for something better. Eventually I just realized, fuck it, do what I want and try to enjoy life. Still have a bit of a hangover from it though, emotionally I don't think I react properly to a lot of things, I'm assuming that was due to not using them for a while.

Well I do overanalyze stuff and it feels like a Congress sits inside my head and i hear multiple voices with the one which is loudest wins. I also have migranes and my head hurts all the time, but i dont think i have a merical problem but just that i am different that way

It doesn't help your state of mind when you're in college trying to tackle a career you dislike while there's so much pressure on you to finish it. That happened to me. My first time with depression was on my third year in college by 2009, when I wasn't able to finish jobs by their deadlines and I had to ask for extensions so I could finish them during Summer. It sucked at first because even at home, I didn't have anyone to talk to. Hell, I'm sure no one even noticed how bad was I. My next episodes would be failing and repeating a practice course three times for the next three years. Anxiety and panic attacks come first, with depression coming later after lingering thoughts creep into the mind. "I can't finish this." "I try and try, but nothing is acceptable for the professor." "I'll flunk the class, I'm sure of it." "What will everyone think of me for failing." "I want to change careers, but they force me to stay."

At least for me, laughter and exercise really worked to slowly get rid of the depressing thoughts and think about something else.

Nope, I have no time for any mental illnesses.

It's not about time but genetic predisposition. You could have no time and illnesses.

Hahaha. 

Not to brag or anything but I have plenty of sex in my life. It does help. But after a while I am probably looking for something more than just sex. 

I'm in the military so I can't smoke weed (unfortunately). And I do lift often (got into weightlifting when I joined)

Great advice. What is 5htp though??

I very much understand your situation; feel free to PM me anytime to chat.

"I'm not the sterotypical gamer as I played a lot of varsity sports in high school and usually have a pretty large friend group"

Why do people still always mention that like all gamers are still basement dwellers? Gaming is pretty mainstream now, you can stop saying that.

Anyways, it seems like this generation is plagued with social anxiety, depression and ADD. It's hard to say who's actually, medically depressed. My sister was diagnosed as bipolar and from ages 16 ~ 20ish, she was prone to mood swings and other things that affected her behavior and mood erratically. She was diagnosed, got the mental attention she needed and now she doesn't even deal with it anymore. She still takes pills because (and this is not a competent, medical explanation by any means) there are imbalances of chemicals in her brain that affect her emotional state so the pill even her out.

If this has been going on for 10 years, you're doing yourself a disservice and harm to your well being. God forbid, you end up on the news a lone wolf who was "mentally disturbed." Get yourself the help you think you need and if you can't even talk to your friends on a real, personal way and discuss your feelings, I'm sorry mate but you got shitty friends. My best friend also suffers from depression and we always talk about how we feel on our day to day life and how we cope with any emotional distress in our lives.

My mother was also diagnosed with depression and she takes pills for it, seldomly visited psychiatrists/psychologist (i forget which one helps with depression, or both), and openly talks about it with us. Depression with some other possible illness, like she always complains about aches and discomfort in her body which was linked to her depression. I think you just got some demons to take care of.