You play something in the form of salt shaker. The graphics are too cheap to include hands. The object of the game is to push the right stick forward until the end while listening to some hipster classical ditty. Sometimes you see another person yet they can't understand you. They serve no other purpose than to annoyingly beep at you until you pretend to be afk, it's the worst kind of filler content you'll ever see.

The game has very lengthy loading times with some ugly pictures trying to distract you from the long wait. Not that it's worth it, all levels are pretty much the same in a different color, just push forward. Sometimes you need to use the jump button as well, but it's so forgiving it might as well be automatic. There is some excitement when you get to slide forward instead of walk which at least speeds things up a bit. However you'll get punished for it later as the reverse happens and the game slows you down with a cheap wind trick while taking away the jump ability.

The game is extremely easy, you can only die once, by wind, seriously. Then you can suddenly fly, only forward, which changes back into a forceful slow walk. The end.

I Know This One!

Chrono Trigger: Stupid Version  (Spoilers)

You play as Crono, a mute boy who loves violence, cats, and hair gel. He goes to the fair, where you get the chance to grab a girl's pendant, try to sell it in front of her, and steal some guy's lunch. You proceed to chase some hot blonde despite the obvious danger, slaughtering locals along the way. You finally reach that sweet blonde, and even get some alone time with her. Alas, you lose track of her again, and instead hook up with this nerd girl you've known for a while.

The two of you head over to the local house of worship, where you kill some nuns and team up with a talking frog named Frog. Your trio unites to murder the local head of government, and you then dump Frog the frog in exchange for the blonde. You're heading back with two ladies by your sides, and things seem to be looking good. Crono's cat is not going to be the only pussy in his bedroom tonight!

Just then, you get stopped by law enforcement, due to the fact that you kind of chased down the princess while waving around a katana. You go to jail to await your execution, but are saved by Velma. The two of you attack public servants and cost taxpayers millions of dollars before grabbing the princess again and taking her to the Capitol Wasteland.

Realizing that the two girls would team up to murder and eat Crono if necessary, it is your job to escape the apocalyptic wasteland. You promise to help some local survivors some food, so you give them a single seed. You also learn that an evil hedgehog from space ruined the world circa 1999. Curse you Shadow! So it's now your job to make sure Sonic Adventure 2 is not released until 2001. Or something.

You escape the Wasteland with the help of Robo the Robot, only to end up in a time paradox. This is actually a good thing, since you can pick up arcane arts by walking around a room three times here. Now that you can eletricute enemies more easily, you can return to your home time, only one country over from home! After slaughtering the locals with blade and thunderbolts, you decide to travel back in time to kill somebody that might be responsible for something that happened centuries later. Hence, you become Skynet, complete with a time-travelling robot.

In your quest to kill the space hedgehog, you go on a long fetch quest across time and space. You need to get the MacGuffin Metal to the legendary smith to fix the broken sword you get somewhere else to blah blah blah. Victims along the way include the corpses of soldiers, goblins fighting for their homeland, and dinosaurs. Finally, you get Frog the frog back and arm him with a weapon capable of destroying mountains. Your mighty team, which by now includes a Terminator, a trio of magical teens with attitude, and an amphibian capable of splitting mountains apart, then invade a manor. Inside, you kill a transvestite before attacking the owner, who is armed with farming equipment. Naturally, you mess things up, and somehow end up millions of years away.

Back in the past, you decide to help the local cavewoman commit genocide against the dinosaurs. Now that you've caught your breath, you may visit Fantasy Dystopia #479. Because who needs subtlety when you can have the priviliged elite look down at others from their magical floating cities? You get kicked out for a few minutes, go back in, and confront the evil space hedgehog. Your ass gets whooped and you die. Your friends could save you... but you've kind of been a jerk, and this Magus guy has the cool Piccolo from Dragon Ball vibe going on.

Not satisfied with that ending? There's another dozen! You can see the world get ahnilated by the space hedgehog, hear the gals rate the hunks they've seen,  or talk to Akira Toriyama!

A blonde teenage runs around the world killing stuff with his sword and then turns into his furry alter ego at will while letting some demon thing ride on his back the whole time. The game ends with a Middle Eastern man being stabbed in the heart

a amoured guy shoots random aliens for no reason

An Elf boy with a fairy grows up
the end

Tinkle

Done...

Were you also staring at boobs the whole time? 😒

Actually, KungKras got it right. It's Phantasy Star II

I couldn't stand Dark Cloud 2. It was such a huge step back from the original. 

Ooh, I wanna try again:

Lovecraftian rip-off where everyone has weapons that are actually two weapons. You dress dapper and hunt were-things, but eventually aliens.