Let's say that, in middle school, I hypothetically did this already. Suppose it didn't feel good at all. Suppose it had absolutely no feeling, almost like trying to tickle yourself (which can't be done). This is all hypothetical, of course.

When I was 16 and limber I tried it once successfully, but I have an 8" penis so it was easier.

Nope... I have no need.

Shit.  I have a girlfriend probably 20 feet from me right now.  In 2008, I had three girlfriends at once.  I still spanked it almost every day back then.  I do it pretty regularly, now. 

Damn im impressed... I couldnt spank it if i wanted to. My fiance never leaves me with the energy.

Just wait...one day...you'll have kids....then "Hello there!  Fancy we should meet here.  How's Mrs. Right doing this morning/afternoon/evening?"

(It'll help to role play with your hand...fyi)

Fellate means to suck a dick. He's asking if you could suck your own dick, would you? 

Keep it that way.  One side effect of masturbation (and watching too much porn) is that you see these women that are visually stunning.  I even had a few of that calibur at one point in time.  Anyway, it makes it hard to accept the flaws and shortcomings of a real life woman.  Stay away from the porn and stuff and you'll be that much happier.  I've managed to ween myself off of it a few times but all it takes is one lonely night and it's like I'm a 14 year old kid, again. 

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

No.