Well I refuse to ever join a religion that makes you wear a turban so Islam, Hindu, Sikh and a few others are out.
I couldn't be a Jew because I love pork and dairy products.
I refuse to join the same religion as Tom Cruise so Scientology is out.
I don't know what the fuck Wicca or Norse/Roman are so they're out.
So that leaves Buddhism or Atheism. I'll go with Atheism.