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Forums - Politics Discussion - Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader - NYT

robzo100 on 17 January 2018

I really have no way of knowing what the deal is, and I don't just mean that from a logical perspective - I also mean it from anger.

Angry that someone is lying here. Because if it DIDN'T HAPPEN...then this guys should be screaming his case that she is wildly lying. And if it did happen then he should basically just acknowledge full out that what he did was awful.

It's these half middle-ground cases that are driving me nuts. I mean how does one inaccurately express that they don't want sex? Furthermore...how can you even have good fun sex if the other person isn't...enthusiastic....you know what I mean??? Like if you feel you're getting raped or forced into sex then...how do you have sex to the point where you can actually get aroused, not just physically, but like energetically/movement-wise.

Something doesn't add up here (it feels like it)

and I'm honestly not sure which party is the misleading one. I'm glad the majority of cases don't fall into this category but a few have and it's hard to decipher what's actually going on.



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KLXVER on 17 January 2018
robzo100 said:
I really have no way of knowing what the deal is, and I don't just mean that from a logical perspective - I also mean it from anger.

Angry that someone is lying here. Because if it DIDN'T HAPPEN...then this guys should be screaming his case that she is wildly lying. And if it did happen then he should basically just acknowledge full out that what he did was awful.

It's these half middle-ground cases that are driving me nuts. I mean how does one inaccurately express that they don't want sex? Furthermore...how can you even have good fun sex if the other person isn't...enthusiastic....you know what I mean??? Like if you feel you're getting raped or forced into sex then...how do you have sex to the point where you can actually get aroused, not just physically, but like energetically/movement-wise.

Something doesn't add up here (it feels like it)

and I'm honestly not sure which party is the misleading one. I'm glad the majority of cases don't fall into this category but a few have and it's hard to decipher what's actually going on.

Yeah, because him saying "She is lying and I'm disgusted by her" would probably have the feminists back off.... 



DonFerrari on 17 January 2018
Thechalkblock said:
Smartie900 said:
Ansari wasn't good at reading the signals the girl put out. When someone is in a situation where they're deeply uncomfortable and tense, they don't always have the willpower to refuse a request and say 'no'. I can sympathize with the girl and it is understandable that she would want to come out and voice her concerns. However, Ansari doesn't deserve to be vilified for being ignorant on how to read social signals. He expressed regret over the situation privately and seemed to genuinely care about the mental state of the girl. To me, this just seems like a an awkward situation where two people didn't know how to properly communicate with each other.

i completely agree. the biggest reason this situation seemed to occur is both people involved failed to communicate with each other effectively. 

it does bring up questions about what consent is, but also i think more importantly about how to express yourself as well as interpret the feelings of other people.

i think it’s possible that both people could have been drunk, and maybe that’s being left out of the story. i get that feeling from how sloppy the interactions between the two seem to be. 

If both are drunk it is obvious that the men rapped, get up with times.



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Qwark on 17 January 2018
BraLoD said:
VGPolyglot said:
The easiest way to avoid this is to just ask before doing everything to make sure that the other person is fine with it.

Or keep fapping

Or pay for it, you know paying microtransictions to win



Please excuse my (probally) poor grammar

Aeolus451 on 17 January 2018
o_O.Q said:
Aeolus451 said:
I think he should sue her and the one who published the story for defamation. I'm sure he's blacklisted over this.

if the story is true, how can he sue her for defamation?

she went through the experience and obviously feels wronged, that's not a justification for him to sue her

That's the kind of experience you tell close friends and not to reporters. If she thought that something criminal happened, she should go to the police and not to a reporter. You can only say so much about a person publicly before it become slanderous or defames them especially if damages their career.

Anyone with some sense knows that you don't name a person when you're retelling a bad date story or a negative story about a person publicly. This chick doesn't have much sense if she thinks blowing a guy a couple of times while naked is sending a non-verbal que that she's not interested or that she wants to slow things down.



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Qwark on 17 January 2018
BraLoD said:
Qwark said:

Or pay for it, you know paying microtransictions to win

Gotta keep it free

Haha fair enough SAAS might be as bad as GAAS. Still for people who don't want a relationship, but just have sex it could be a solution. Less feelings get hurt and there is less confusion and you don't have to deal with any of the BS OP stated.



Please excuse my (probally) poor grammar

Errorist76 on 17 January 2018
DonFerrari said:
Thechalkblock said:

i completely agree. the biggest reason this situation seemed to occur is both people involved failed to communicate with each other effectively. 

it does bring up questions about what consent is, but also i think more importantly about how to express yourself as well as interpret the feelings of other people.

i think it’s possible that both people could have been drunk, and maybe that’s being left out of the story. i get that feeling from how sloppy the interactions between the two seem to be. 

If both are drunk it is obvious that the men rapped, get up with times.

Yeah, those rappers of today are the wooooorst.

 

Btw was Nirvana being instrumentalised for the #metoo movement?!



JWeinCom on 17 January 2018
VGPolyglot said:

JWeinCom said:

Do I have to explain the difference between punching someone and making amorous advances on a date?

Punching someone without their consent is violence. Having sex without someone's permission (i.e. rape) is also violence.

Ok.  That is the similarity (sort of).  Now, can you see any differences between making sexual advances on a date and punching someone?



robzo100 on 17 January 2018
KLXVER said:
robzo100 said:
I really have no way of knowing what the deal is, and I don't just mean that from a logical perspective - I also mean it from anger.

Angry that someone is lying here. Because if it DIDN'T HAPPEN...then this guys should be screaming his case that she is wildly lying. And if it did happen then he should basically just acknowledge full out that what he did was awful.

It's these half middle-ground cases that are driving me nuts. I mean how does one inaccurately express that they don't want sex? Furthermore...how can you even have good fun sex if the other person isn't...enthusiastic....you know what I mean??? Like if you feel you're getting raped or forced into sex then...how do you have sex to the point where you can actually get aroused, not just physically, but like energetically/movement-wise.

Something doesn't add up here (it feels like it)

and I'm honestly not sure which party is the misleading one. I'm glad the majority of cases don't fall into this category but a few have and it's hard to decipher what's actually going on.

Yeah, because him saying "She is lying and I'm disgusted by her" would probably have the feminists back off.... 

I think it's generally easier to express and digest the truth than a lie. A lie, especially of this magnitude, generally smells fishy. 

 

Like I said I'm not sure what to make of it



Qwark on 17 January 2018
vivster said:
I hope she gets charged.

Don't get your hopes up, since that will probably not happen to her or anyone else in her position.



Please excuse my (probally) poor grammar