Wii U v. PS3! 3rd Party Comparison Series- BioShock: Infinite!

My creditials: Not many of you know this but I'm actually a developer. You guys heard of Naughty Dog or 343i? Yeah, well.

Recently, I've been reading a lot of bad press about the Wii U, which I refused to believe, so I thought I would see for myself. This meant I would have to buy a Wii U. Road trip!

Problems, right off the bat. I had a little trouble finding a Wii U at my local Wal-Mart. I assumed this meant they were Sold Out* but a kindly employee directed me to the Toy department. Sure enough, wedged in between the Lego and the Action Figures, were three pallets of Wii U. Lucky! Still shrink wrapped, too, so I knew I wouldn't be getting one with porn downloaded on it.

Despite appearanced, however, I could tell almost immediately that this would be a popular item. While waiting in line, two small children took my Wii U out of the box. You could see the joy in their eyes as the little boy stacked blocks on it and the little girl used it to drive around her Barbie. So adorable.

Once at home, I dropped it beside my PS3 (pictured). It looked a bit out of place, to be honest.

Setting up the Wii U took a little while. I waited but progress seemed slow. I made a sandwich. I started and beat Persona 3: FES on PSN. I took a quick trip to Vegas that didn't turn out so well. I knitted a scarf. Right as I was taking a roast out of the slow cooker, though, it finished installing! Yay! Now we were ready to get down to business.

However, before that point, another problem reared its ugly head. The Wii U OS, I noticed, was kind of slow. Luckily, as a hardware designer, I had a theory about how to speed things up. You can try this at home, if you like, and if you have confidence in your repair skills. First, I carefully peeled away the duct tape seal and pulled the two halves apart. I donned a pair of soft cotton gloves and gently removed the Wii U's CPU. I turned it over to check for damage and it warbled at me in warning. Everything seemed to be in order so I dropped in a bit of alfalfa and a salt block. Then I saw the problem! The bedding material had gummed up the wheel somewhat, probably during shipping. I pulled it away and replaced it with fresh cedar. As a note of warning, however, this will void your Nintendo warranty and the optional Pet Smart extended warranty.

With that out of the way, it was time for business. As a software developer, I have contacts in the industry that floated me a version of BioShock: Infinite for PS3, so I decided to try that. For the purposes of this piece, I asked for the Wii U version, as well. I still don't understand what was so funny but after awhile I got what I wanted.

The differences, it turns out, are striking. You've all seen the trailers and media for the PS3 version so, yeah, it's like that. Pretty and stuff, with the dead horse and the monster. Not that the Wii U version looks bad, mind you. The solid colors are bright and bold and very ... solid. And really, who needs texture? Texture is over-rated. The dead horse has been edited out, but that's OK, the turtle shell they replaced it with served the purpose well. Why Elizabeth was wearing a crown, though, I don't get. The lack of guns is a bit disconcerting at first, though you soon get used to jumping on your enemies to "knock them out".

At this point, you're probably thinking that these differences are minor, and you're right. The biggest difference is the ending !SPOILER! where you become friends with Songbird, play some mini-games on the gamepad, and ... well, that's pretty much it. Character and story progression have been carefully edited out to comply with Nintendo standards.

And what's with all the damn mushrooms?

PS3 Version
Story: 10
Game Play: 10
Graphix: 10
Graphix Modifier: 10
Executive Summary: Brilliant.

Wii U Version
Story: -1
Game Play: 15
Graphix: 2
Graphix Modifier: The Colors, though! The Colors!
Executive Summary: Ew.

There you have it! Hope this helped!

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*heh
Right To Live Disclaimer: http://gamrconnect.vgchartz.com/thread.php?id=153272&page=1

wow dude. you write this yourself?

okay, nevermind.  clicked the link and now i get it.

wow and your not a right to left reader like Rol. great review.

If i weren't mad that Levine's lying ass hadn't been there at E3 2011 only to screw Nintendo in the long run, i'd find this post funny.

You understand that Rol was making fun of JayWood, right? Not Mod Nation?

His sarcasm was tailored to be mocking heavy bias in favor of Nintendo products. It was ironic because Rol is himself a Nintendo fan, but is using sarcasm to apologize for the heavy bias of other Nintendo fans.

Your thread lacks the irony, aiming for full-on flame baiting. You completely missed the point of Rol's thread if you thought it was bashing Mod Nation Racers, because that's the impression I get.

Excellent review. But why the review gave no note to music and sound-effects? I think that would have impacted the result tremendously. Therefore I have to decrease my note for this thread, it is only 16/10. If you keep up the good work, you can get better.

By the way: the 3rd-party-comparisons-threads are a great series and should be continued!

Thank you for your kind words.  I knew there was something missing.  Nothing is as important as Graphix, of course, which I why it gets two scores, but I suppose in the future I can add in Sound and Music on a 5 point scale each.  I will try harder next time.

Knew something was wrong about the Wii U version. Till now one could only preorder from flea markets.

Great review. So hyped for those minigames on the gamepad with da Songbyrd.

17/10
/thread