Welcome to the basement!

You're new around here, aren't ya? Yeah. Don't recall you ever sharing the basement with me in the last few years. It's not as bad as it looks! Noble over there teaches us about opportunity. He's always so optimistic. He never gives up on himself even though people thought he was hopelessly doomed some months ago. He also makes some mean hotdogs from the fully stocked box freezer over there.

Oh? Those two at the top of the basement stairs pressing their ears against the door? That's Angel and Light, and their names are no coincidence. You see they dream of leaving this basement to ascend near the company of their great God, Seth. Rumor has it though that Seth was severely injured and dethroned by a newer, younger, better looking, rising God named Shaun. But we cannot truly confirm that. Although one day Angel and Light could possibly leave this basement by the mercy of the Basement Gatekeepers, I don't think they will ever reach the heights of those "Gods". Heck I've been here so long I question such existences. How do I know all this stuff? Well ask Angel over there. Angel swears his brother, Death, just from behind the door, speaks to him through code, a coded language of gentle knocks they created as kids. No one but him hears it, and all we have is his word. But to entertain his claims he says there are 3 anonymous Gatekeepers, I guess this code doesn't use the alphabet because Angel conveniently can't get their actual names but Angel calls them "The Fool", "The Ho", and "The Greek Gyro" based on his decodings.

The two people we do know for certain that exist upstairs are castor and PAO... them? oh nothing special about those two only that they like to open those ceiling hatchets up their and urinate on us when we are asleep. Assholes.