Warning: May contains high-level English mistakes. Sorry.

Since my early childhood, I was a peculiar kid. I would overreact when my parents were sick. I would think a regular flu would kill myself or my family, and I had a terrible fear of losing something.

I got better over time, but a couple of years ago (I'm 27, so probably when I was 24) I almost lose it. I had a feeling like my body was rotting. I started to cry for trivial things. Yeah, I thought that was my end.

Then, I finally consulted a doctor, and I was diagnosed with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

But you may be thinking: "What is OCD?"

This image may help you.

This is exactly how my mind works right now. After my "breakdown" I spend one and a half or two years with medication. Did it worked? Yeah. So far I never had another crisis like the big one in 2017.

Today, I take exactly 8 pills per day. It may sounds like a lot, but it's not like I walk with medication in my pockets.

My mom keeps saying that I must do something in order to avoid negative thoughts. Video games, animes, chatting with friends, or simply taking a walk helps a lot, but sometimes I lack the will to do those things.

Did you ever played Chaos; Child? No, I know. But I'll explain what happens.

In that game, the protagonist comes to conflicts in his head, then you can select if he will have a "Positive" or a "Negative" thought. That's like real life, you may have a positive reaction to a situation, or a negative. But if you have OCD, you will probably go to "Negative".

That's a silly comparation, but it's the way I like to explain it.

Where I was... Oh, right. So, the doctor still doesn't know when I will stop taking medications, but I really want to be more active with my friends. Laying down in the bed having thoughts about my death won't take me anywhere.

So, sorry if this post was hard to read due to english mistakes, or maybe I dragged it too much.

I joined VG Chartz because I love gaming, and I love to chat with friends. And I know it's a good step to my cure. I don't post a lot here, so maybe some of you guys never saw my nick before. Well, pleased to meet you. You can call me Alex.

Thanks for reading it. Also, sorry if it took too long for me to open my heart with you guys, today I was feeling like it.

This youtube video is a tutorial on what to do. Good luck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NERXer22e3E

While I and I'm sure everyone else in this topic share our support, I don't think this is really the appropriate forum to get advice on that kind of issue. If you need an online community I would suggest https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/. I get that you're more comfortable here with people you sort of know but people who do not have a certain mental illness tend to give VERY bad advice on how to handle it. I deal with depression and overall the advice from people who don't have it is very shitty. And I'd imagine OCD is probably harder for those who don't have it to understand than depression is.

Aside from that, see a psychaitrist. You said you saw a doctor so maybe you're already doing this, but if the doctor is a general practitioner they may not be the best to see. If your current medication makes you lethargic, talk to them about other options.

Feel free to PM me. I'm never going to give you any advice because I am not qualified, but if it helps to get things down in writing, that's an option for you. Good luck.

Thanks. I'm seeing a psychiatrist, yes.

I think I need to be more communicative, that's why I made this thread. But, if I'm breaking any rules, may a moderator lock it, please.

You're definitely not breaking any rules, and if you want to talk about your experiences, I think that's great.  We all need to let it out sometimes.  I just don't think it's wise to ask for actual advice from people who probably aren't qualified to give it.  I'm not a mod or anything, so that's just my two cents.

I have OCD. I was on meds for a while when I was a teenager. But, one day I just decided to embrace it, and stop thinking of it as a problem. I definitely still have symptoms, and the inability to ever get my brain to relax (for lack of a better way to say it) is a real problem. But, OCD has also made me very fast with simple math (one of my symptoms is constantly doing math with numbers that I come across on daily life), and has helped me in other ways (I "obsess" over details and methods in my work, which often lead to a better finished product, for example).

I'll note that it took me about a decade from the time or my diagnosis until I decided that it was not going to allow it to be a problem. And, frankly, I'd rather have not been diagnosed. I spent that decade feeling guilty anytime I exhibited a symptom (which would probably qualify as a symptom itself). Do yourself a favor and try to avoid going through that.

When I was on meds (Prozac), I found that to be worse than the disease. So,.my advice to you is to think of some ways that OCD has helped you (there's almost certainly something), and try not to look at it as a problem. It's just part of your personality.

Also, (I'm being serious) alcohol is pretty good at temporarily relieving symptoms. It is also a dangerous drug, so you should be very careful how you use it. But, having a couple of drinks from time to time can really help to get some much needed temporary relief. As long as you're responsible with it, I think it can be a good alternative to taking drugs from a psychiatrist forever.

Seeking professional help (which you've already done) is the best thing you can do.

Its funny cos it is so true. I too have been diagnosed with ocd and yes after a couple of drinks the thoughts associated with it completely disappear. It sure is a relief however the next day it can come back with a vengeance.  

Don't worry about it so much. We are all going to die at some point.  I'm a little OCD but it doesn't affect me too much.  Sometimes you gotta teach your brain to say fuck it every once in a while.

You washing your hands 100 times a day won't change that 18 wheeler slamming into your car crushing you to death.  When it's your time it's your time.