[Update]I have OCD. How to deal with that?

[VAMatt]

I have OCD. I was on meds for a while when I was a teenager. But, one day I just decided to embrace it, and stop thinking of it as a problem. I definitely still have symptoms, and the inability to ever get my brain to relax (for lack of a better way to say it) is a real problem. But, OCD has also made me very fast with simple math (one of my symptoms is constantly doing math with numbers that I come across on daily life), and has helped me in other ways (I "obsess" over details and methods in my work, which often lead to a better finished product, for example).

I'll note that it took me about a decade from the time or my diagnosis until I decided that it was not going to allow it to be a problem. And, frankly, I'd rather have not been diagnosed. I spent that decade feeling guilty anytime I exhibited a symptom (which would probably qualify as a symptom itself). Do yourself a favor and try to avoid going through that.

When I was on meds (Prozac), I found that to be worse than the disease. So,.my advice to you is to think of some ways that OCD has helped you (there's almost certainly something), and try not to look at it as a problem. It's just part of your personality.