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Forums - General Discussion - Why is it so hard to have simple interaction with other men?

I am secretly terrified of other humans. They can smell fear.



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That's one thing I've been continuously working on the last five years or so. Well, interacting with people I don't know, not just men. I try to gauge the situation to see if it would be more awkward to try to converse or to just stare at my phone & shut out the world like a little kid.

I find a good 'break the ice' conversation starter is "Superman or Goku."



I‘m usually very sociable and rather talk too much, than to little. I’m very open to strangers and mostly upfront..which is why I’m sometimes a bit too much for people, as my fellow Germans are not known to like much small talk. I‘m a fire dragon, I guess, and it shows. That said, sometimes I just hate people and prefer to stay for myself, depending on my mood.

Not a big fan of that American style “how ya doing” smalltalk though. I prefer deeper topics than beer and football.

Last edited by Errorist76 - on 27 February 2018

I talk to people all the time, but when I'm in more populated area like NYC or even Cincinnati, not so much. I learned that while not unfriendly, it feels like people in cities are more wary than lower population areas. Even eye contact is different. This is all anecdotal though.



spurgeonryan said:

I was at a Father/Daughter function recently. Only guys there at the school. Not one guy, except a few Russians said hardly anything to each other. Myself included. I know absolutely no one at my kids school.

 

Today I was at Costco. They were out of Relish, Deli mustard and onions at their restaurant. A ...well an Asian or Oriental? older gentleman asked if it was all out. He looked like he wanted to say more but did not and I could not think of anything to say to him, so I sat down and ate my hotdog in silence without even looking at him. Felt bad, I think he was there wanting to have contact with others.

 

Do you just start talking to people for the hell of it or do you just ignore others IRL?

This surprises me, given your sense of humor and demeanor on this site I had you pegged as the "doesn't know a stranger" type that can chat it up and find common ground with most any type of person.

 

As for me I normally don't have problems talking to anyone and am fairly outgoing, that said there are times I just don't really feel like it either.  

 

Errorist76 said:

I‘m usually very sociable and rather talk too much, than to little. I’m very open to strangers and mostly upfront..which is why I’m sometimes a bit too much for people, as my fellow Germans are not known to like much small talk. I‘m a fire dragon, I guess, and it shows. That said, sometimes I just hate people and prefer to stay for myself, depending on my mood.

Not a big fan of that American style “how ya doing” smalltalk though. I prefer deeper topics than beer and football.

Hmm Errorist, I'm a fire dragon too ... are you a Sag or Scorp (my guess).  Not that there is really anything to all that mumbo-jumbo in my opinion but I used to work with a guy that was into it. We would always try to guess our server's sign when we went out between shows. 



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Its cell phones. No one talks because of cell phones. I have been to several functions where cell phones are not allowed and everyone was talking with each other. Same group of people visited another public place and everyone was on their phones.



I too find it easier to talk to women than men. However I'm incredibly shy and not talkative at all even around friends I'm naturally quiet.



Bristow9091 said:
spurgeonryan said:

I am actually not really shy at all. It just seems I can barely talk to other men. Maybe because I do not watch sports or I do not even know. It also seems like this area Men just do not care to talk to anyone. They are on their Cell phones all the time. Get me a female though and I can talk to her forever. They talk too much.

Oh absolutely, I actually feel a lot more comfortable talking to women than men. I mean, I can talk to both genders, but I feel more at ease when talking to a female, and I also feel like there's a lot more I can talk about with them too... 

I also don't watch sports either, unless you class eSports as I like watching the Overwatch League, lol :P so it can be tricky picking conversations that aren't your usual go-to lines such as talking about the weather and stuff,

I think this is just the way it is.  Women tend to be more talkative, so its easier to carry on a conversation with them. If you put 10 men in a room, only 3 or 4 of them want to talk.  But, put ten women together, and 8 or 9 of them will be yapping away.  



I actually feel way more comfortable with men around, with women there's always this sensation that I must follow an unspoken protocol for how to treat them.



Well, there is that general belief that men don't really speak, at least compared to women. So many guys just aren't much talkers. xD



 

              

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