Mr Meeseeks what are you doing over here?

Yeah, but the reviewers were most likely bought off by Disney and fans are actually buying into the bullshit.  Watch it and tell me what you think, Spurge.  

Also, it's most likely going to kill Jurassic Park at the box office.

I'm confused though. All those things you're pointing out are also problems with the original star wars. Er hem, reasons why the original star wars were better than the new three.
Because
1. Nothing is explained. The characters in the movie know the references, they don't need to be explained everything. There is very little actually explained in the originals, they are just referenced. This was painful to watch though, in the new three, when everything was explained down to the minute detail. It was so self-referential, it totally killed the vibe.
2. Everything in the new three was so painfully choreographed. The light saber fighting was so plainly over the top and pointless. It was basically, let's put as many lightsabers on the screen as possible, and give them moves like colorguard cheerleaders. It was terrible. The only one who came off naturally was purple saber black guy. Obi wan and skywalker were like friggin ballerinas. You know what was cool? The fight scene in return of the jedi at the end. The cinematography, the dark background horizontal shot with very few moves, but a lot of passion.
3. I haven't seen the new one so I can't comment, but yeah, cameos really piss me off too. Either put them as minor characters in the movie or don't put them in at all. I hate short scene cameos like that. It's bullshit self-referential garbage.

Ah, I knew it since the trailer. Another subpar SW movie.

Agree completely. How on earth did they get away with that. The storyline is identical to Episode 4. It should've been called 'Another Hope'. It felt more like a remake than a sequel.
Abysmal end fight too. How did Finn stand up to Ren for even a second in a lightsaber duel. Finn, an inexperienced Storm trooper from the sanitation department who's only experience previously with a lightsaber was a brief duel he lost to a storm trooper with a cattle prod. Yet he's able to give Ren a good fight. Ridiculous.

Edit - Meant to say 'Ren', not 'Rey'

Ahahahahaha is this serious? hahahahahahahahahahah

Worse than I have imagined.

I haven't seen the movie yet but iv seen a few other reviews that say its basically a new hope remake

1.  In a New Hope we learn about Luke's father a little bit.  He was a great pilot, fought in the Clone Wars, and was a Jedi.  Also, we see his aunt and uncle slaughtered by stormtroopers so a little background is given.  Rey collects junk in order to eat.  That's all we learn about her.  

2.  I can understand why you think that the prequel trilogy duels were too choreographed.  I personally liked them, but that's a matter of taste.  I also loved the mood set in the original three as you did.  They weren't as ballet as you said, but even in A New Hope  they make it look like Obi-Wan and Vader are proficient in a strong two handed sword fighting style.  In this one it looks like it's two kids in the backyard whailing away on each other with those nerf stick thingys ( I don't know what they are called). 

The sad thing is that this description of what happens is pretty much spot on.

Lol. Bought off. Now I know you're just delusional. It's okay if you didn't enjoy it. Lots of other people did, including all those unpaid reviewers.