Ignore the majority of reviewers, find a select few that stand out above the rest. Jim Sterling would be a good place for you to start.

Not all of them are massive, manchild cunts. Though Jim Sterling prides himself on being a massive cunt.

do you complain when your boss tells you "you should get a week off, its okay if you want to work today but we are not needed today  we will have to be working extra hard next week though" ? 

Double Fine is just telling him to not publish his review till next week and they're not forcing him to either, but just out of respect for the people who get it late so they wont spoil it for them. 

I just find it as if he's jealous that they got tons of money from people and he didn't get anything instead he had to ... omg actually BUY the game like everyone else -shock-

Legitimately do not see a problem here, except in the way you mischaracterize what was actually said.

to be honest I never listen to any reviewer since I'm a massive cunt myself when it comes to taste, but i'm just so damn picky rather than a complainer.

Video game "journalists" see themselves as celebrities despite making less than many of their fans. All of them think they are Katy Perry and won't follow people on Social Media. Either that or there must be something in the water in California that makes them act as such.

Maybe they need to hire people who have degrees in journalism instead of fame-hungry bloggers and hipsters. Electronic Games did the former and their back issues remain a great read and very professional. In 2014, it's an utter joke.

They are not journalists, they're enthusiast writers. They don't have a degree in journalism. They all moan about the most trivial things, like Adam Sessler who bitched and made a controversy about the name of a trophy.

They are trying to relate to their audiance

right? I remember magazines and some articles from different languages that are fun to read almost as fun as playing the games themselves, they were critics yes, but they did it so professionally that you are eager to read their next publication and learn more into the ins and outs of the games and the proccess of game developement.

I find Siliconera, Rock Paper Shotgun and Kotaku right now to be closest to this, though kotaku sometimes have their annoying obviously biased opinions (like seeing everything anti female like that one time with Dragon's Crown) 

Because game journalism as a field is a complete joke, note I'm not talking about reviews since there is a distinct difference between a journalist and a reviewer, while in gaming people often do both I still believe that the reviewer part is mostly done adequately.

The journalism part on the other hand is a complete shitfest, it is all about clicks, all about finding controversies or creating some if there aren't any at hand, pulling words from developers out of context, making up sensationalist headlines etc.

It has one of the biggest parts in this industry still not being taken seriously by the majority of people.

If I had a dime every time Adam Sessler and Keighly doing something stupid, I'd actually have enough money to buy the Doritos company