Many people think that the crime of Onan was masturbation - no, the crime of Onan was refusing to obey God.

To answer bold, I don't think so, as long as it's not forced (I've had natural wet dream, and some I was able to induce. I know which are healthy personally).

As for the first part, really I've been more sexually fulfilled in the periods of my life where I was not masturbating, because during the periods where I was, I felt more like a zombie, and my excitement over things faded. I think if you want to see what I mean, try abstaining for a month and being surrounded by good people (which usually happens less when I'm in zombie mode because I become more anti-social).

If you try it for yourself, I think you might see what I mean.

For bold, I agree, that's what I was trying to tell LemonSlice.

As for what the bible says, I disagree. Jesus said that if you look at a woman lustfully you have committed adultery in your hearts, which means that the bar is set quite high. The Christian  standard for morality is not whether you're hurting someone on earth or not, but first and foremost your intention towards God.

Many people blame Christians for misunderstanding scripture, but often it's the world (outside of christianity) that gets the theology wrong.

And I can't argue with you there, it's your morality, Star, your rules.

The truth is though, when it comes to the bible and the big Guy :) , it's up to Him to decide. When he mentioned the challenge of looking at a woman lustfully, he never mentioned whether the person looking was single or married. Only that lust was sin. With that in mind, the boy thinking of Kate Upton lustfully would be sinning, since lust is a sin against the big Guy. The morality of Christians involves an ingredient that is generally inexistent in the morality of non-believers: sinning against God, e.g.  violating God. For most non-belivers, that is meaningless, so instead the morality is focused around not harming another human being. That is perfectly fine.

However, for Christians, their morality is centered first around not harming God, which also involves to a lesser degree not harming a fellow human being. The first commandment is: "Thou shalt have no other gods before me.", the most important commandment, it's at the top. To violate it is to sin against God and nobody else. The second most important commandment is virtually identical: “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments." The focus really is on God when it comes to judeo-christian morality. The 3rd commandment is similarly to uphold God's holiness.

It is my honest opinion,while using some bible knowledge and playing outside the boundaries of what's written, that thinking about sex is not a sin if the subject of the passion is immaterial (such as in a wet dream, it's not someone in particular that the individual is thinking about), or if the person has simply no control over their thoughts (such as in a dream). The individual can then interpret the dream as a pure reflexion of their psyche and consciously work from there.