Very entertaining :)

BTW, from what I've read we are very, very different people haha! But not in a bad way. Some of my best friends are massive players. I on the other hand have only slept with 5 girls (2 were once-off affairs). This might seem even more feminine than the above "cream comment", but I enjoy the look of "I want you SO bad" in a woman's eyes much more than actually ending up in bed with her. It's usually a little over-rated.

No worries. I'm just trying to impress upon you that these things make a massive difference. Since I started surfing in the beginning of the year my arms and chest area have become rather well-defined, and I can literally notice a difference in how many girls hit on me.

But if you're not into making effort then it's understandable. I have friends like that also.

They all end up with serious mental issues don't they?

How does a ex-marine spend his free time when he's retired? I'd love to know. Does he have any peace of mind?

(I'm ignorant in this regard)

You have any connection with South Africa?

You no like?

Thanks for the compliments and the sincere critique!

I think I have misrepresented myself in the above. Here's my clarification in a later post:

****

"I haven't spent that much money on things for her at all! I include in the "spoiling" category things like picking her flowers myself and leaving a little letter with them when I leave her place. All of my gifts have been very tasteful. The surfboard was an impulse buy. I am teaching her how to surf and I couldn't resist.

Actually, you make an invaluable point: Spoiling a girl rotten is not a recipe for success"

****

In other words I agree about the spoiling part! I love doing thoughtful things like sending her a snail mail or leaving little drawings and poetic words at her place before I leave. I do still feel that she should be overwhelmed by what you offer her, but that does NOT imply a lot of money spent at all! I've bought her two expensive things; a surfboard and that amazingly beautiful chain mail jacket (seriously, it looks like something an elf would wear in LOTR!). I live RIGHT by the beach and go surf like 4 times a week, so that board pretty much stays at my place and I surf it too. It's not as bad (the spoiling!) as you think it is! But I do always try and pick up the bill when eating out and going for drinks, because a) I'm the man, b) I'm 7 years older than she is and c) if we stay together then I'm going to get TONS of money out of the union, so I don't mind.

Ok, that point's behind us...

Oh no not at all! We cook at home (we both love cooking - now there's a way into a girl's heart ) most of the time. She's super earthy and not flashy at all. She's the least bespoke about her parent's money of anyone I've ever met. It's quite a drawing card for me. She paints and exercises and works in the garden and cleans her house herself etc. I see how you guessed the above, but it's super far away from the fact!

I know it comes across like that.  Suppose nothing can be said or done if you don't know me in person. It's much easier to (try to) be objectively frank here, since it's just words on a screen and strangers that are interacting. But I am serious; Girls literally offer themselves to me on a regular basis without me doing much at all. It's part of the equation in the OP, so that's why I included it. Suppose I shouldn't have. Sorry.

I'm more like that than you might have garnered from the OP! Indeed, I'm actually flamboyantly romantic most of the time. I'm not a player at all. I like connecting with a girl.

Some of us aren't into those vain, empty relationships with a blond with big tits. But if that's your cup-of-tea, then yeah -  totally! Make some money and you'll have them lining up.

But it's worthless imo.

I'm surprised you'd find yourself at this site if you're as successful with the ladies as you say haha.. but you definitly do seem to know what you're talking about.. If what you say is true, I'd be lyin if I said I didn't evy ya a little..

I've always considered myself for the most part, the antithesis of the lady's man. While I don't believe I'm too bad looking, (especially after my hardcore fitness regimen over the past couple years), I am very shy and quiet, nervous, socially akward, and have some major self confidence issues - basically the qualities that seem to repel women... For the record, I'm not trying to act like some emo or martyr or whatever.. I think I've got some great qualities also (kind, dependable, funny, creative, witty).. It's just that my poor qualities tend to be the ones that the ladiez seem to place the most value towards, and this is the main reason I think I've ended up 27 and still alone, with next to no previous sexual experiences. I've had (and still have) women as friends, even close friends. But after that point, I am lost as to where to go with it. If I feel an attraction to the person in particular, the social akwardness seems to resurface right on cue and I simply back down from taking that friendship a step further.

I've gone through a 3-4 year phase recently where I just sort of shrugged off the lack of women's attention and realized I just didn't care anymore (if they didn't care, why should I?) I started examining the root of why I even wanted a relationship, being the introvert that I am, and I finally realized the main reason I would want a relationship was so that people wouldn't think I'm weird - and that is NO reason to get into one for my money. So during this time I sort of stopped trying, just living my life for me, being positive and seeing what happens. I've also realized that I would drive myself nuts if I kept beating myself up over being alone. But now I think I've again reached the point where I'd like to at least put myself out there a bit more socially. If this bears no fruit, so be it; I like to think I still wouldn't care too much. But I'd like to at least give it another go.

Reading your post seems to confirm what I've suspected.. That women, generally speaking, like confidence first and foremost. So to get to the core of my problem, I think I've gotta work on that first, and go from there. It'll be a long road ahead for me, but I guess that's part of the fun :/

Most of this is advice is pretty obvious stuff, but then again a lot of men these days do seem to be clueless about how to interact with women. Must be the digital age.....I swear to god, unless it's through Facebook or whatnot, most guys won't even start up a conversation with girl they don't know. I think guys are slowly but steadily forgetting the art of flirting, and perhaps more importantly, body language.

I always have friends asking me why I do so well with women, and they always expect that there's some trick to it, like a magic pick up line or very specific premeditated conversations that I plan out ahead of time. That's all nonsense. I always tell them one thing. Right now....you're scared of approaching them, it makes you nervous, you start over thinking it, and then you come across as awkward or weird. Approaching women should be something fun. Something you enjoy doing. I took one of my friends out to the mall once and told him I would give him 20 bucks for every single attractive girl he talked to and another 20 if he could hold conversation for more than 2 minutes, that way every girl he didn't approach would be lost money. That motivated him a lot, and sure enough, at first he was pretty bad, but the more girls he talked to the more relaxed and comfortable he got, and after a few hours he really got into and was pulling numbers left and right. He was so happy by the end of the day he even gave me my money back.

So ya.....it's obvious, and guys who are good with women will always tell you this, and it may piss some guys off or annoy them because they're hoping for some big secret you'll lay on them, and they think "whatever asshole, that's easy for you to say when you're doing so well'.......but it really is that simple. Confidence. Detachment. It shows when someone is confident. They have a whole different body language then someone who isn't, and your conversation tone changes as well. Women notice that. And detachment...don't think of it as approaching girls trying to be all "uber cool" and acting disinterested in what she says. Just don't build her up on a mental pedestal before you talk to her. Don't stare for 10 minutes deciding what to say or whether you should talk to her at all. It's just one little conversation. A tiny part of your day that probably won't last more than maybe 5 minutes. There's a hundred other people you could be talking to that day. Some of them will be interesting, others won't. A lot of guys walk into a conversation with a girl like it's a job interview and the woman is their boss. They try to quickly prove their value to them. DON'T DO THAT! You have to approach them KNOWING your value, and the mindset that whatever conversation you have with a girl, they need to prove their value to you.

/rant


Congrats on the high life Dr. Grass. I dated a girl from Venice for a while whose parents probably had more money than god. It's certainly an experience.

That's a very honest post right there.

It hasn't been mentioned yet that women are way, waaaaaaaaay more insecure than you think. If you keep this in mind then you realize that it's not that important what pick up line you use at all. 

Also, observe guys with confidence closely (without being freaky about it!). I used to be SO shy groing up. Didn't have a gf ever until I was out of school. My one friend at the time was so incredibly confident and successful with the ladies that I just realized that there really is nothing to be scared of and that it should be (and it really is!) a lot of fun to talk to randoms.

Also, these awkward guys see anything with tits and a vagina as a sexual object. I treat girls as casual buddies mostly when I meet them. From there it's very easy to go all flirtatious on them since you're comfortable and all that. 

I believe these things can be learnt.