| Metallicube said: I'm surprised you'd find yourself at this site if you're as successful with the ladies as you say haha.. but you definitly do seem to know what you're talking about.. If what you say is true, I'd be lyin if I said I didn't evy ya a little.. I've always considered myself for the most part, the antithesis of the lady's man. While I don't believe I'm too bad looking, (especially after my hardcore fitness regimen over the past couple years), I am very shy and quiet, nervous, socially akward, and have some major self confidence issues - basically the qualities that seem to repel women... For the record, I'm not trying to act like some emo or martyr or whatever.. I think I've got some great qualities also (kind, dependable, funny, creative, witty).. It's just that my poor qualities tend to be the ones that the ladiez seem to place the most value towards, and this is the main reason I think I've ended up 27 and still alone, with next to no previous sexual experiences. I've had (and still have) women as friends, even close friends. But after that point, I am lost as to where to go with it. If I feel an attraction to the person in particular, the social akwardness seems to resurface right on cue and I simply back down from taking that friendship a step further. I've gone through a 3-4 year phase recently where I just sort of shrugged off the lack of women's attention and realized I just didn't care anymore (if they didn't care, why should I?) I started examining the root of why I even wanted a relationship, being the introvert that I am, and I finally realized the main reason I would want a relationship was so that people wouldn't think I'm weird - and that is NO reason to get into one for my money. So during this time I sort of stopped trying, just living my life for me, being positive and seeing what happens. I've also realized that I would drive myself nuts if I kept beating myself up over being alone. But now I think I've again reached the point where I'd like to at least put myself out there a bit more socially. If this bears no fruit, so be it; I like to think I still wouldn't care too much. But I'd like to at least give it another go. Reading your post seems to confirm what I've suspected.. That women, generally speaking, like confidence first and foremost. So to get to the core of my problem, I think I've gotta work on that first, and go from there. It'll be a long road ahead for me, but I guess that's part of the fun :/ |
That's a very honest post right there.
It hasn't been mentioned yet that women are way, waaaaaaaaay more insecure than you think. If you keep this in mind then you realize that it's not that important what pick up line you use at all.
Also, observe guys with confidence closely (without being freaky about it!). I used to be SO shy groing up. Didn't have a gf ever until I was out of school. My one friend at the time was so incredibly confident and successful with the ladies that I just realized that there really is nothing to be scared of and that it should be (and it really is!) a lot of fun to talk to randoms.
Also, these awkward guys see anything with tits and a vagina as a sexual object. I treat girls as casual buddies mostly when I meet them. From there it's very easy to go all flirtatious on them since you're comfortable and all that.
I believe these things can be learnt.
