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Top Nintendo Executives Respond To Sony PS4 Specifications

After several months of rumors and speculation Sony has announced the PS4, and Nintendo will finally have a direct rival in the next generation battlefield. With the Wii U still struggling to find its place in the world of gaming, the PS4 certainly presents a challenge. Nintendo has usually been very reluctant to talk about tech specs, but after doing some uhhhhh… things… (I’ll never be able to look at myself in the mirror again), I was able to obtain a round table interview with Nintendo President Satoru Iwata, legendary game designer Shigeru Miyamoto, Nintendo of America President Reggie Fils-Aime, and Scott Moffitt, vice president of sales and marketing . What did they have to say about the Wii U present, future, and Sony’s incoming console? Find out by reading my exclusive interview!

Justin: So I would like to thank all of you gentleman for taking time out of your busy schedule. I know you guys are really busy promoting the Wii U right now…

Scott Moffitt: We’re busy doing what now?

Reggie Fils Aime: Shoot! I knew there was something we forgot.

Shigeru Miyamoto: * Playing with a mini rock garden.* Hmmmmm…

Satoru Iwata: Don’t worry guys. We’ve got plenty of Luigi games on the way.

——-

Justin: Right… How would you guys describe the current sales of the Wii U?

Saturo Iwata: Currently the Wii U is performing slightly below our expectations.

Reggie Fils Aime: Very slightly below our expectations.

Scott Moffitt: Very very slightly below our expectations.

Shigeru Miyamoto: * Closely studying a paddle ball. * Hmmmmm…

——-

Justin: Software support has been slow for the Wii U thus far, and gamers are eagerly awaiting news on new games. Can you guys give me any updates on upcoming software for the Wii U?

Saturo Iwata: We are very very sorry for the long wait. We ask you to please be patient and we will have news on games soon.

Scott Moffitt: Very soon.
Reggie Fils Aime: Nintendo is dedicated to bringing gamers the most compelling and original content available on any platform.

Shigeru Miyamoto: * Repeatedly folds and unfolds his folding chair. * Hmmm… I think I have a new game idea.

 Justin: Well a lot of the launch window games have been pushed back.  I was really looking forward to Pikmin 3.  Mr. Miyamoto, is there any chance we’ll be able to play that in the near future?

Shigeru Miyamoto: *Is swinging a wooden sword around.*

Justin:  Uhhhh… Mr. Moffitt is there any chance we’ll be playing Pikmin 3 in the near future?

Scott Moffitt: Hey, anything could happen, you know?

Justin: *sigh * Alright. Some people have been concerned that the Wii U is not as powerful as even the X-Box 360 and PS3. Reggie, do you have any comments regarding this?

Reggie: Nintendo is dedicated to providing hardcore games the best console experience for hit blockbuster game. If you look at multiplatform versions of hit games like Call of Duty: Black Ops II you’ll see that the Wii U offers a superior experience to our rivals.

Justin: Actually Digital Foundry did a comparison of the different versions of the game and…

Reggie:

Justin: * Gulp * I mean… uhhhhh… yes sir! Call of Duty Black Ops II runs better on the Wii U than the 360 and PS3.

Reggie:

And..?

Justin: Eep! And I ummmm… Refuse to play Assassin’s Creed with anything but the Wii U Game Pad!!!

Reggie:

AND?!

Justin: And… uhhh… Mass Effect 3: Special Edition is the definitive Mass Effect experience  >_<.

Reggie:

Good boy…

Justin: * Whew * Okay. Sony announced the PS4 recently, and many people are impressed by its specifications. The PS4 has many impressive qualities, including 8 GB of GDDR5 RAM. The Wii U only has 2 GB of DDR3 RAM. Do you think this will pose a problem to developers?

Reggie Fils-Aime: Oh yeah. More powerful hardware. That’s worked out real great for them in the past. I have a riddle for you. Whats big and red and comes around once a year?

Scott Moffitt: Santa?

Reggie Fils-Aime: No, Sony’s financial reports

*Scott and Reggie high five. *

Saturo Iwata: 8 GB of RAM? That’s nice. How many Marios can it display? (laughs)

Shigeru Miyamoto: * Plays with Rubik’s cube and mumbles something about Zelda. *

——-

Justin: All I’m saying is that the PS4 looks to be technically superior to the Wii U. Do you see this problem when trying to attract third party support?

Scott Moffitt: Third…

Reggie Fils-Aime: Party…

Saturo Iwata: Support..?

*The three shrug in unison as Miyamoto hovers slightly above the table suspended by balloons.*

Will Games Like Deep Down Arrive On The Wii U Platform?

Justin: Ugh. Well, what are your thoughts on the design of the Dual Shock 4 which sports a touch pad on the controller?

Saturo Iwata: A two inch touch pad on the controller? I can only imagine the new possibilities in gameplay such a device will open up. (laughs)

Reggie Fils-Aime: This is undoubtedly the most innovative new idea in game controllers since the Six Axis controller.

Scott Moffitt: Who needs an actual screen with all of that pesky second image and utility?

Shigeru Miyamoto: * Is playing with a train set on the table making choo-choo sounds. *

Justin: Well speaking of the second screen experience, Sony has shown how the Vita can be used to do some similar things to the Wii U such as remote play. Are you afraid that the Vita will be able to steal some of the Wii U’s thunder?

Saturo Iwata: We think Sony has created a very attractive second screen solution… for people looking for a sub-par experience that have $250 burning a whole through their pocket. (laughs)

Reggie Fils-Aime: We are very concerned that Sony will be able to cut into Nintendo’s market. Just like they did with the Move. *smirks *

Scott Moffitt: What’s a Move?

Reggie Fils-Aime: What’s a Vita?

*Reggie and Scott laugh and high five. Meanwhile, Miyamoto is sitting cross legged on the floor in a Mario hat, surrounded by koala bears. *

——-

Justin: Do you guys have any concerns about the more powerful Playstation 4 arriving as the Wii U is struggling to gain traction?

Reggie Fils Aime: Heh… nope… of course not. * Eyes dart around nervously. *

Scott Moffitt: The Wii U is only selling slightly below expectations so we’re not concerned… only slightly below expectations… only slightly below expectations…

Saturo Iwata: We think that the Wii U will be able to build momentum once it has major software released.  That software is coming soon.  We promise.

Shigeru Miyamoto: * Is standing on top of his chair on one foot, and is balancing an open umbrella on his nose. *

——-

Justin: I wanted to focus on the Wii U, but for my last question, I’d like to discuss the 3DS for a moment. While the 3DS has been doing very well in Japan, it has not been performing as strongly in the Western market. How do you plan on gaining a stronger market presence in the US?

Reggie Fils-Aime: Mario Golf?

Scott Moffitt: Mario and Luigi?

Saturo Iwata: Your fat little American children love Mario right?

Shigeru Miyamoto: * Is singing David Bowie’s “Star Man” into a hair brush. *

——-

Justin: Well I uhhh. Thank you for your uhhhhhh… valuable insight. I uhhhhh… * sigh *  This has been… Uhhhhh… really… informative… and interesting… thanks for your time.

——-

If you enjoyed that (and even if you didn't I guess) please give me a hit by clicking GotGame.com And, if you want to be super awesome, you can always follow me on twitter Twitter.com/GotgameJustin/

I read this parody today morning at the bus coming to work... I really laugh a lot.

Great imagination... good work.

Reggie Fils-Aime: Oh yeah. More powerful hardware. That’s worked out real great for them in the past. I have a riddle for you. Whats big and red and comes around once a year?

Scott Moffitt: Santa?

Reggie Fils-Aime: No, Sony’s financial reports

*Scott and Reggie high five. *

Saturo Iwata: 8 GB of RAM? That’s nice. How many Marios can it display? (laughs)

Shigeru Miyamoto: * Plays with Rubik’s cube and mumbles something about Zelda. *

That made me laugh.

I'll admit, Miyamoto made me laugh. So did the "big red" joke.

I would like to bring up the absolute fact that Nintendo does not compete with Sony nor MicroSoft. This was said by a very reputable source and I can confirm this as a fact. The moment the OP mentions Nintendo having a "direct rival... with the PS4" I knew this was a joke. Nintendo's only rival are themselves. Again, this is a fact.

Wow, really nice! I chuckled a few times, especially the part with Reggie and CoD/ME.
And the part with Sony's financial reports was gold.

Well done!

This was a humor piece.... it was entirely made up.  Just meant for a laugh.

Reggie and Iwata would never consent to a dual-interview like that out of the middle of nowhere, and Nintendo rarely speaks publicly about their thoughts on the competition, unless it's in the vein of "...but here is why we do it better than they do."

About 30-40 lines too long, would've been better short and sweet, but entertaining nonetheless. Good concept and characterization.

I generally don't care for characters high-fiving each other unless they're meant to be a caricature.

I thought the fact that I referenced what I was saying to be "fact" would have told you I was being sarcastic. I was going along with the satire. (Laughs)

Really fun read. Thanks for making med laugh!